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I know this topic gets posted a-lot.
But I am really in a rut.
I just feel aimless right now and like I'm not really going anywhere. I feel like I need some kind of target/goal or purpose or something. My friends keep saying "do it because you love it". And I keep telling them that IS why I'm doing this but it doesn't really feel like enough. Plus, when you're only so-so its kinda of hard to do that because everything (except scales etc) just sounds so-so.

I think I might like to play wiht a group at some point becasue I think the would be inspiring and give me a purpose but I dont realy feel like I'm good enough for that yet. And at what point are you good enough for that?

Sigh....

Thanks for listening.

I'd suggest try thinking of it this way. What thing(s) that you play give you the most enjoyment? Figure that out and then brainstorm ways to do more of that kind of thing.

So is playing with a group more fun than by yourself? Then it's time to find a group to play with. Whether you are "good enough" or not.

But I'd consider it a risky business to try and find a group to play with in hopes that other people's expectations of you will substitute for your own sense of motivation. Groups are best when they offer an outlet for the drive you feel within, not as a source for a drive that was lacking to begin with.

The people I know who really thrive playing music with others seem to fundamentally experience music as a social activity. The important question is whether you are that sort of musician or one whose best enjoyment comes from your own playing. Then pursue the one that meets your basic personality.

Hi Kymber,
I have only been playing for 2 years and am currently playing with a cellist for fun--we haven't recorded ourselves yet but I will share once we do!!
My cellist partner plays the cello FAR FAR better than I play the piano, but she still enjoys the experience. Our mutual love of piano/cello music and our desire to improve upon our abilities to coordinate our playing with other musicians was the primary motivation for working together rather than anything social (although she is really lovely and I do enjoy working with her too--that is a bonus I suppose).
It has been a small challenge finding appropriate pieces for us to play together. For example, she would love to be able to play all of the English Folks songs in my signature below, but for now, # 1 is the appropriate challenge for me.
Give it a shot!!! You might find that you really love it.

Thanks for your replies.

Brent H- Those are important things to consider-thanks for pointing that out. Every once in a while my piano teacher and I will do a duet and I find it energizing and rewarding.

Glasslove- That sounds like a lot of fun. I think that might be something I would enjoy. Thanks so much for the idea (and inspiration).

I think all teachers ought to occasionally provide a little duo opportunity for the students. It's a very motivating activity, even for those of us who are usually perfectly happy playing solo.

For my own part, playing with one other person is just about perfect. More fun that solo without all the overhead of keeping four or five people focused on the same goal. Definitely worth seeking out (especially if you know any cellists, man is that a nice duo combination).

Kymber;

Re your comment "I think I might like to play with a group at some point because..."

Do it, don't think. If you wait until "I'm good enough," how long will it take, in your own view, for that to happen? I think Yoda told Luke that there is no "try," there is only "do." Make sense, I hope?

My point is this - and if you're as daft as I am, you too may think about this - but I've thought of putting an ad in local Craiglist music section seeking others who like music, are not experts with college music degrees out their *** and who would like to play, perhaps on weekends only, and stumble along together, just for the pleasure of playing. Low "key" stuff, with no expectations to get to Carnegie, or become local legends in one's own mind or any of the baggage or pressures from others who "want to gig by next summer."

Gotta' be others like you and I, who in fact have more or less the same sentiment. I for one don't want to be on my death bed someday, and say, "Geez, wish I would have..." I don't want to be like Charlie Brown, who only admired the cute little red-haired girl, from afar. I also want to leave skid marks up to the back door of the funeral home.

I.E., you don't need no steenkin' permission, from the gods here or elsewhere, to do what you'd like. Or, at least try it; if you fail, it's "not the end of the world," as an old song would have us believe.

I of course don't know what your music tastes are, and it may not be easy to find those who like what you wish to play. But, try it. What are they going to do, say no? So what? Have read of amateurs who played together for some time, and did go on to make a CD, and give performances and that too is fine if it suits all concerned.

I've heard of those who play in several bands, and not all of said bands do play out anywhere. Often, people may like to play, but life / schedules get in the way of going beyond the garage or basement. Ain't no laws against it thus far. I too want to make noise with the boys in the basement or garage, just for the pure, "savage glee" & pleasure of playing music. (I used to play guitar, and drums; someone gave me a junker keyboard, I bought books on piano... and I'm thrashing about and enjoying it).

So, there, take that; go be clever, play, have fun. ;-) I promise you that no one will take out an ad in the paper, talk trash about you, if you're not a world class keyboard player. There will be no picket lines near your residence, stating that you flubbed a Pentatonic scale.

In short - get over it, move along, my fellow citizen-musician. ;-) Above all, don't forget, that it's supposed to be fun. No rules against that, either, (or not yet). But hurry, make haste at your leisure, before D.C. (DisneyLand Central) somehow legislates the air from our lungs now that they've drained the billfolds of generations to come. But... don't get me started, on that topic. LOL!

Regards,
--Pat

Pat! I love that you reference Yoda AND Charlie Brown!!!
How could I NOT follow your advice? You are absolutely right, if I wait until I am "good enough" then it will never happen because I will never think I am good enough.
Thanks SO much!

Oh and Christine- definately share a recording once you make one!

One thing that helped me get out of a rut was to pick something I really like to play, and decide to get it polished well enough that I'd record myself and post it to YouTube and the "Piano Bar" threads here. Previously, I'd never really "finished" anything - just noodled around for fun and played for my own enjoyment, but without much improvement to show for it.

But having a goal provided the discipline that was required to pay attention and to really nail all the details. There's few things more motivating than not wanting to make too much of a fool of myself.

MA - there's lots of contra dancing there, and I'd bet some fun "megabands" - all-comers bands with folks of all abilities and instruments - you don't have to be "good enough". Here's the website for one of the more well-known ones in the Boston area:

Roaring Jelly (Boston version)

The all-comers band I play in is also called Roaring Jelly, but we're in New Mexico. We've had a visitor from the eastern version, tho!

Here's a link to Bob McQuillen's site - he is THE legendary New England contra dance pianist - "The best left hand in the business" There's some tunes to listen to - he does backing, which is mostly what I do, too.

Bob McQuillen, contra dance pianist

So that's my propoganda for the day

Cathy

Hm. Here's the Iowa contra dance schedule with links

Iowa contra dances

Not sure there's a "megaband" but one could check

Cathy

Dont worry too much about being in a rut, most of the world is in a rut.
In fact me and 60,70smusic were not in a rut, and then we both dug one for ourselfs. I have done this often, i suspect so has 60.70's music.

You have to learn to embrace the rut, wallow in its ditch-like space and roll around in it.
Have fun in the rut, invite some friends over for a rut-party, and while they are there, play some rut music together. You could do a cover of "in a rut" by funnily enough: the ruts, a song that eglantine just posted on someones "serious" thread.

You could advertise in the paper: "are you a musical person that plays an instrument? If you would like to play with others, but feel stuck in a rut, then you need to get out of your rut and come over to my rut so we can jam together"

You know, you can start duet with me... It's totally selfish on my part but it always helps to play with others. Also, it's less scary to get in front of others. As Roshy says, there is nothing like "jamming" to get out of the rut.

Thank you everyone for all the great suggestions.
I feel like I have something to work towards now.
I think I will work on more duets with my teacher so I get more used to playing along with another person. Then I will look for someone to looking for someone else to jam with. I think the more I get used to the the more comfortable I will feel working with other people and going out and joining other groups etc.

One thing I am working on, possibly for winter or spring, is a Massachusetts Piano Party. I don't own a piano but I know of a great place were I can rent a space that has a piano and I think it will be perfect for a gathering were we can all just play for fun. Once I get the details worked out I will post something.

Thanks again everyone!!!!