First of all, I'm 15 years old, just to get that out of the way.

I say this is my first official composition, because it's the first time I've actually written out the sheet music for it.
I've linked to the sheets in pdf format if anyone wants to try them.

Watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7xMSFoPimI

I came up with the main theme once when I was just messing around with the rhythm (Crotchet-Triplet-Crotchet-Crotchet)

The second theme was spontaneously written when I made the first theme into a song in FL studio.

I actually came up with the 3rd theme before either of the other 2, around 6 months ago smile

I appreciate constructive criticism.


Jonathan.


Sheets: Forever PDF

Positives:

Catchy melody
Workable chord progression

Negatives:

A wee bit repetitive
Cheesy glissando

Reminds me a bit of Zelda music, and Katchaturian. Not sure if I spelled that correctly.

Also is that the audio or are you really hitting those bass notes with all you got? This song starts out at full blast and doesn't have much room to grow. You could try toning it down at some point to build on the dynamics.

First the good news, it has a memorable theme that makes a grand statement and it has an effective structure in that there is enough variation that the listener is engaged. These are some of the aspects of good composing.

This piece also seems to typify the concept of teen angst. I'll bet your friends love it. I have children older than you so my viewpoint on life is a bit different. This piece has no delicacy nor elegance, it hits you in the face with its statement and leaves no room for disagreement.

Of course this judgment is entirely subjective, so I hope what you'll take from my comments was that it has a memorable theme and effective structure and build on that. Just keep in mind when you do so that the world is not black and white but an infinite variety of colors and shades of gray (and I do NOT mean to reference anything related to the book). Look for the back stories in life, look for motivations, look for human interest. This is where life gets interesting. You're right the world is a messed up place but that's because it's full of fallible humans.

Good point about it capturing teen angst. I had a similar thought. Though really that applies more so to the dynamics than the melodic content. The music is actually somewhat happy sounding, quite aggressive but triumphant. At least that's my take.

stalefleas,
Thanks for your comments, the Gliss was never really part of it, I just threw that into the sheets as I was writing them out
I'll probably remove it, maybe just play it when I'm performing it for friends.
I'm considering playing this in the local eisteddfod, so I'll definitely remove it for that.


Much of that is actually the piano, I doesn't have much dynamic contrast, although I am playing quite loudly. The aim is to bring it down in the second section, but it's difficult on this piano. I've also never been good at playing softly, so that has some to do with it.


Steve Chandler,


Ok, it's supposed to come across as dramatic and majestic (think Hobbit/Pirates of the Caribbean/Lord of the Rings).
But if it's coming across that way to you, then it will certainly come across the same way to others, so it's no excuse. As I said to stalefleas, this piano doesn't leave much room for dynamic contrast, and combined with my 'aggressive' playing style, I find it really difficult to play softly, which my family doesn't appreciate:)


stalefleas,


ahhh, that's the way it's supposed to sound, the aggressive part is just the way I play. Something I need to work on



Thanks for your comments.

Yes please practice playing softly, you can start by practicing your technique slowly and softly. Not only will you have more dynamic control (a more mature, refine sound as a result) but this will help with your agility as well. It's one thing to just play fast and loud, anyone can twist their forearm quickly. It's something else entirely to play not only fast but also nuanced and precise.