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Posted By: dynamobt Life, Loss, Piano - 06/10/19 03:44 PM
I have been mostly absent from the forums this Spring. I had to drop out of MOYD for the year as well. My life has been upside down visiting and supporting my sister and Brother in law who live in Oklahoma.

I started the year out by visiting to support my sister after a minor shoulder surgery in January. But, the day before I was to return home, my sister had a heart attack. I stayed longer to help with my BIL who had a terminal cancer diagnosis.

I came home for a short break. But returned for my sisters cardiac bypass surgery. During that 7 week visit my BIL was hospitalized twice for unexpected surgeries. Looking back, this was the beginning of his decline.

I returned home again, only to return to Oklahoma to help my sister move into a new house. During this last visit, my BIL took a dramatic turn for the worst. My sister was able to bring her husband home on hospice two days after the move into the new house. It was chaos with boxes everywhere. But, it absolutely was the thing to do as my BIL died five days later.

I have come home to NH again for a week. My husband and I will return in a week for the Memorial Service.

So, this is the “life and loss”. Where is piano?? Well, there has been no piano since January. I suspended Spring lessons to the Summer session, only to suspend them again until Fall. I haven’t played but for one evening since this all started. I hope to get my piano tuned and begin to play when I finally return home after the service.

I miss playing. I need something to ground me. Whether taking lessons or not, that has always been piano. Maybe I can get more involved on the forums too. I miss that as well.

What I have learned through all this is that family is everything. So much so, that we are considering a move to Oklahoma eventually. Cherish your loved ones. Today is all we are promised.
Posted By: KevinM Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/10/19 04:14 PM
I am sorry to hear that it is so awful.

I so understand the idea that playing helps to keep you grounded. Various personal and family life stresses were the precursor to me deciding to start playing again after a 40 year break. It has helped me. One of the last things I do before bed is play, and that playing is the least focussed of my practise sessions on actually practising, but focussed enough that helps move my mind off worrying about so much else. I still have sleep problems but the playing has helped reduce them.

When you have to be there for others and especially when that is ongoing you have to do or have something for yourself. Piano is that thing for me, but try and find something that works for you.
Posted By: Charles Cohen Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/10/19 04:16 PM
What an awful story! Too many bad things happening, too close together for any recovery. You have my sympathy.

. . . I miss playing. I need something to ground me. Whether taking lessons or not, that has always been piano. Maybe I can get more involved on the forums too. I miss that as well.

Sometimes, music is a good answer to life. Some people would say it's trivial; many of us, here, would use it as a support in bad times. And sometimes it's the only thing that brings order to the chaos of the world.
Posted By: Tyrone Slothrop Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/10/19 04:23 PM
Originally Posted by dynamobt
What I have learned through all this is that family is everything. So much so, that we are considering a move to Oklahoma eventually. Cherish your loved ones. Today is all we are promised.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I've lost immediate family and it is hard and painful.

I'm happy to hear your sister recovered from a heart attack, very possibly she was saved by having such loved ones around to care for her.

Take care.
Posted By: malkin Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/10/19 05:52 PM
Take care dynamobt.
Sending wishes of peace and piano playing your way.
Posted By: Pianoperformance Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/10/19 06:13 PM
Sorry for your loss, and speedy recovery to your sister. I totally hear you about family. This is not my thread so I wouldn’t say other than I have had so many losses in past 10 years, terminal cancer too. I started piano because of one loss: reminded that life is short and we make the best. Do take care of yourself too, as I understand that you are needed to support, but your health matters too. I learnt the hard way in not giving back to myself.
Piano is one of my joys, and however hard some days are, I remind myself that there is a place for joy. Even if you can’t take lessons, play and twiddle on the piano when you can, and fit in other joys too. 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Posted By: dogperson Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/10/19 07:04 PM
Even if you can’t play, take some time to listen to some wonderful music and maybe be exposed to some wonderful new music 😊. It does soothe the soul even if you don’t have the opportunity to play. Family, of course comes first, but take care of yourself, too!
Posted By: NobleHouse Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/10/19 07:54 PM
Bless you and your family!
Posted By: Ted Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/10/19 10:51 PM
Do something you enjoy every day, something exclusively for yourself, even if only for an hour or two.
Posted By: Morodiene Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/11/19 02:05 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss, but I know exactly what you mean about family being important. This is a season without piano, but don't punish yourself. I used piano to help with loss and it helped tremendously through it all. As others have said, just play a little, don't "work" at it, just play things you already learned that speak to you.
Posted By: barbaram Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/11/19 08:25 AM
So sorry to hear you have been having such a difficult year and condolences on your loss. I hope that slowly things will begin to pick up for you. Your piano will be waiting for you and will be ready when you are xx
Posted By: earlofmar Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/11/19 10:07 AM
this is so sad, and I can quite understand you not playing. But hope to hear your back on the wagon again soon.

Happy Anniversay BTW- as one of your facebook friends I see you just chalked up quite an innings there. Keep posting the pics of your dog(s).
Posted By: Progman Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/11/19 10:51 AM
So sorry for your loss. I agree with you about how piano grounds me also. Glad you are going to find your way back.
Posted By: TomInCinci Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/11/19 11:24 AM
Really sorry for your loss.

I had a hard time with piano after my teacher died. Eventually I decided that if she was here and knew I wasn't playing she would kick my ass, literally. The day came when it was fun again...
Posted By: thepianoplayer416 Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/11/19 12:45 PM
When I started piano, I had some family issues and almost had a nervous breakdown. For many years, playing music kept me from going insane.

I have ageing parents who live in another city with medical issues. At their advanced age, they still keep a lot of investments and keeping track of their finances is a time-consuming process. At some point the 2 seniors won’t be able to take care of themselves. I hate to look forward to the day I’ll be asked to be the F/T caregiver and give up piano even for a few months. Coming from a non-musical family, everybody around thinks playing music is a waste of time. Nobody seem to be supportive that I spend a lot of time playing music. Precisely the reason I find playing music comforting.

Fortunately I have a portable keyboard at home that can be relocated easily. I took a few lessons as a child but only got into serious playing many years later as an adult. For over 10 years I’ve not got an acoustic piano but an electronic keyboard instead. With a few relocations in recent years my keyboard is always around. I know a few places I can use a public piano for better recordings as a compromise.

I’ve given up owning a real piano for practical reasons. Even practicing on a keyboard once a week when I have a lot of family responsibilities is more than I can ask for.
Posted By: j&j Re: Life, Loss, Piano - 06/11/19 08:01 PM
I’m so sorry for your loss. A little trick to keep the piano in your mind when away from home. I have some music theory workbooks. Even more portable than a keyboard and working on music theory only helps my understanding of piano.
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