I had a meet and greet last week for a potential student who is 7 years old. I immediately liked the child. He seemed interested and bright. I gave him a Halloween piece, and while parent was signing up, he was working on the piece at a model piano in the store, which really made my heart smile. I spent more time up front with him.

At the end of the meet and greet, I stressed the importance of my sick policy (after talking about my background, practice expectations, recitals, makeups, etc.) I offer credits for last minute cancellations due to a child coming home from school who is ill. Parent agreed, as they all do.

First lesson, child is constantly sniffling and swiping nose with hands. When I asked if he was ok, he told me he had a runny nose and told his parents, but they sent him in anyway. I called the parent, who did not answer the phone. Needless to say, when parent came to get the child after 1/2 hour of sniffling, blowing nose and swiping running nose, I told him about the situation. Parent's response was that he went to school. I said that didn't matter, we are in this tiny enclosed room, sharing a piano, and if I get sick I could potentially miss 50 lessons, as well as putting all other students at risk.

I don't even want to deal with this family. It shows such a total lack of respect, IMO. I outline the "criteria" for what constitutes reason to keep student home, offer credits, and yet on the first lesson, they ignore the policy and then I cannot reach them by phone to have them pick the student up. Wondering how to handle this situation.

Alternatively, you can arm your studio with face masks, hand sanitizers, and disinfecting wipes. You can arm yourself with a strong immune system by eating plenty of greens and supplement with vitamin C. And exercise.

I deal with sick children three or four times a month, and sometimes even more. There are a few kids I teach who get sick every other month, if not more frequently. And then there are a few kids who almost never get sick. A lot depends on the cleanliness of their home surroundings and the type of kids that show up at their school. I used to teach this girl who got sick every other week--and I'm not exaggerating. If you took a look at her middle school, you'd know why. That place is a dump.

I remember you talked about your sick policy in the past.

Picture things from the school teacher's point of view. On many days, there are many germs floating in the air. They can't do much when it comes to colds, they just have to deal with it. The parents can't see why you're making a big deal about this. They probably sent that child to day care a few years ago, which is a breeding ground for germs. The state is always pushing day care as utopia for women, regardless of how many diseases breed there for the children. So the state isn't on your side either.

I don't think you'll win this battle. If your health is on the line, you need to find other work. But even then, you'll face this problem. You'll be an insurance agent, and a client will be sniffling, not at the price, of course, but due to a cold. People regularly spread their germs all over the place.

While I agree that the OP is fighting a losing battle, I understand the fight.

It isn't the same as a school teacher's job though, nor that of an office worker.
Those people have sick leave. They get paid if they have to miss work. Students get a substitute teacher.

For those of us who teach and are self employed , if we get sick we miss hours that we can almost never get back, and we don't have subs for our students, so they miss lessons too - and if we miss too many, they'll move on to another teacher.

It's a battle I fight too.

Sitting in such close quarters, the mask and wipes sound like a good solution when people won't respect your requests.
Try spelling it out : I lose money if I can't work. Don't let your kid give me his /her cold.

Whether this is any help to you, here are some interesting facts you might be interested in:

The vast, vast majority of germs (bacteria & viruses) are spread by direct contact, not through the air. Or to put it another way, unless you hug or kiss an infected child, or touch him and then touch your face with the same hand, you're unlikely to catch anything from him by sitting next to him for an hour. Or even for 24 hours. Unless he coughs or sneezes into your face - which is a portal for entry of germs (- the eyes especially: never rub your eyes with contaminated hands. Keep your hands away from your face until you can wash them thoroughly. Your hands will be contaminated from playing the same keyboard as the kids).

There have been some interesting research involving volunteers - when healthy people sat in the same room in close proximity with infected people but were told not to touch each other (but could chat, walk around etc), they didn't catch the virus. When they were asked to play a card game with no restrictions on touching anything, many of them caught the virus.

My job involves regular exposure to sick people (many of them more sick than just coughs & colds), but I rarely ever catch anything. In fact, I get sick rather less often than many of my friends whose jobs don't involve meeting sick people........

I understand your concerns. If someone's really sick, there's no point coming to the lessons. And if you get sick, you have more problems.

Yet, at my work, there almost always is someone sneezing. In public transport, supermarkets, etc, there are at least a dozen of people sneezing.

I guess a running nose is spreading much less bacteria than sneezing. Also, flu is already contagious BEFORE the symptoms appear. So it seems to me your appproach to this is not going to work. Also your reaction may be taken as overdone.

That is usually what I say at the end of my sick leave spiel - the loss of lessons for all students (and income to me, because as you so aptly pointed out, if I were able to find a sub teacher, that teacher is paid for my missed lessons if I get sick. I lose money.

Sitting in a tiny, airless room within inches of a sick sniffling, sneezing child, and playing on the same instrument that they play on, isn't comparable to a teacher who stands in a large classroom at the head of the class. I shouldn't have to quit my job. If a parent has an issue with my policy, I always tell them that I understand. If they stand there and agree with my policy, sign it and then send a sick child in anyway, it baffles me.

Hi AZN, I would send the student home before I wear a face mask, or better yet, put the mask on the student.

I am an avid exerciser, and eat almost too healthy, with a few vitamins on the side. We have hand sanitizer in the studio, but he constantly was wiping his nose with his hands and fingers, and since it was his first lesson, there was a lot of demonstration by me on the piano. Older students have mature hygiene habits. Little kids often sneeze or cough right in my face, and always have their hands in the mouth or nose. I'm beginning to understand why some teachers do not teach young children.

chasingrainbows, I'm not a piano teacher but I figured I would provide a comment on your situation because to me this is a "terms of service" situation.

If you have stressed your sick policy with the parents prior to taking the student on and discussed it with them in person about what constitutes being sick and when the child should stay home, and they are flagrantly disregarding this part of your studio's policy I would maybe warn them once and if it happens again stop allowing them to be part of your studio.

Your policy is very clear in my opinion and this family seems to be inconsiderate in adhering to the rules. A lot of people will say they agree to the terms of a particular service but when it comes right down to it people will try to get away with doing whatever they think they can get away with.

With my teacher I always cancel if I'm sick and she will reschedule. She also cancels with me if she is sick and I appreciate that she does this. I wish you luck with this particular issue as I struggle with this in my line of work and it is honestly a losing battle for me but it doesn't stop me from trying to fight it

I work with a few people who use every hour of sick leave they earn.

But I work with a lot more people who will come in barely alive, because that is their work ethic. There are people depending on them and they won't let the boss or their coworkers down.

A lot of my generation is like that. I'm like that.

If a set of parents is like that, they make have passed some of that "old school" thought on to their child. The idea that coming in sick might be a risk to other people had not occurred to them.

Get the flu shot.

And remember, there are a limited number of cold viruses, and once you've had each one you are immune, and will get sick less.

Thanks blackjack. I really appreciate your understanding. I shouldn't have to "quit teaching" because of a few parents who are completely in agreement with my policy, then do what they want. This is not about sickness, but following policy, whether it's 24 hours' notice, practice expectations, leaving music home. Rather than teach a sick child and run the risk of getting sick and losing a week's salary, I'd much rather just credit the family. Knowing this, they still sent him in. I would give them another chance, but knowing that the boy told them he was sick, and they sent him anyway is making it difficult to do that.

Speaking as a parent: if I pulled my kid out of school and every activity every time she had the sniffles, she'd miss half her life.
So would I, if I did the same for myself. I teach and accompany and perform if I have a cold.
A sick day is when you have a fever over 100 degrees and/or you're throwing up.
(I did once cancel a performance, accompanying dancers, because I was throwing up. The professor called and asked "can't you bring a bucket?" I said I would prefer to stay home, thanks.)

However, you have a different approach to things, and since you take the wise precaution of putting everything in writing, I would think it would be fairly easy to say, "parents, everything is in the policy, I cannot teach young Joey today because he clearly has a cold."
You may have to remind them out loud, as not everyone remembers everything in a policy all of the time.

The parent wanted to get away from the child, so to spend time on internet, or with boyfriend or girlfriend.

In my experience, catching something really depends on my own body's state. I have slept in same bed with sick hubby, feverish, etc, but haven't gotten sick from him. I also work very very part-time so I am allowed to sleep as much as I want if I'm ever tired practically, so I think this factors into it. Are you particularly sensitive to catching things from people? You may want to state this, along with your policy, again to the parents to make sure it is very very clear. People have different ideas as to what "sick" means.

Chasingrainbows,
It sounds like this student had a little more than just the "sniffles." When you couldn't reach the parent, a possible solution might have been:
Find a place for the child to sit or lie down away from you and the piano for the duration of the lesson time. Provide him with a box of Kleenex, hand sanitizer, etc, and gently explain that his lesson will be excused due to his illness. Then make it clear to his parent when he returns for the child that you could not teach him since he was sick. Do not offer a make up lesson or a refund. I had many parents who sent their child to school sick while I was a public school teacher. When parents could not be reached or refused to pick them up, I would seat them away from the rest of the class and excuse them from their lessons. Usually the students were thankful to be excused because they felt bad to start with. In 20 years of teaching I never had a student offended by being removed form his regular seating to separate area.

Heather, I was in the position of not being able to reach the parent once I realized the child was in the beginning stages of a cold. Parent dropped him off, went shopping and didn't answer the phone when I called.

I have to have this policy (as do many other fellow teachers) to avoid missing a week's worth of lessons. Unfortunately, whether it's genetic or whatever, I rarely get a "cold". It goes into an upper respiratory infection that lasts for weeks.

Since I can't possibly predict if I will catch a cold, or flu, etc. I have to take all necessary precautions. Unfortunately, I don't get a cold, and I would surmise most people who criticize my sick policy fall into the category of those who either never get sick or have only experienced short term colds. I caught the H1N1 flu and two other upper respiratory infections the first year I started at the store. I can't afford to miss that much work, financially and physically,

I explain all this at the meet and greet. There's no excuse for blatant disregard, IMO.

Our local conservatory follows the same sick policy. Sick students are required to stay home. I'm not sure if they offer makeup lessons. I not only offer make ups, but am willing to give credits. I don't understand the need for people to judge or tell me to find another job.

I get why you have this policy (mine is similar), and I get why they sent him: it was his first lesson, he was really excited to go, he didn't seem that bad, etc.

As far as I can tell, you did tell the parents of this policy and the reasons, so really at this point you can only hope that it doesn't happen again in the future, now that they know that you felt he was "sick enough" to stay home. I don't necessarily think it was being outright disrespectful, unless there were words exchanged that gave you that impression.

Sometimes it's easy to find offense where none was intended.

edited to add: When this has happened to me, I usually tell the student to call their parents and pick them up (like you did) and discuss it with them. I don't get upset, but I point out that it's better they stay home and get better, and that I'll always reschedule if they're sick. Often the next time the child is sick, I'll get a text saying they have a sore throat and asking if we should reschedule.

Unless they are self-employed or have had their children in other activities like this, it may be a new concept for them. So it's up to us to educate them on what the procedure is, and most of the time, they learn.

People define "sick" in very different ways. Runny nose usually does not prevent kids from going to school (otherwise you could imagine kids missing school half the time in winter). At work we always see colleagues showing up with coughs or runny nose or sneezes. School districts usually have a list of symptoms that should qualify kids as "sick" and have very clear guidelines about when children can return to school after being sick. For example, a child who has a fever over a certain degree should not go to school, and can return to school only after a 24-hour period with no fever. You can adopt such guidelines or modify it any way you want, and ask that parents adhere to it when they sign up their children. The conflict in this kid's situation is not that parents don't want to follow your sickness policy, it's most likely a difference in defining what is "sick".

My written policy that they received and signed is very specific about MY criteria for keeping a student home. I don't feel there was any excuse for them to send him, especially when he told me that he told them he should stay home because he was sick. If a 7 year old knows my policy, what example does that set for parents to disregard my policy?

Well, dismiss them if you want and can afford to. It's your policy and you have to decide how to enforce it. However, I always think that when there is a new relationship, toes get stepped on no matter how clear you think you were. A little grace goes a long way, and since you liked the kid, what's the harm in waiting until the 2nd time it comes up to see how they respond, now knowing how seriously/to the letter you take your policy?

I would say this is a warning to the parents, and next time you won't teach the lesson. Maybe I'm too good at making excuses for other people, but it could be that the child was sicker than the parent thought he was based on how he was when he left for school at the beginning of the day.

People are naturally going to judge your sick policy either in your favor or not, because that is the subject of this post.

I feel a strict sick policy is unrealistic. Germs are everywhere. You don't believe it's unrealistic. It may help to have very long discussions with all parents about the way other kids' illnesses can lead to serious upper respiratory infections for you. But like Morodiene says, it's a process of educating them.

Sorry chasingrainbows, I missed the part where the parents left and you couldn't reach them.
I agree with letting the kid lie down and not giving a lesson in that case... lets you stick to your stated policy and keeps the kid off your piano!

Yes, germs are everywhere, but there are more on sick kids! In my last desk job at an employer (at General Electric), we were periodically reminded that it is better to stay home when sick than to bring it to work and get everyone else sick. The big companies also realize they lose money.

I've seen many sick policies that resemble yours when researching writing a good policy. I beefed up my own policy after getting the flu last year from teaching at the home of kids hadn't even gone to school for a couple days.

I think I would echo others in giving the student a second chance, especially since you like the student.

Sometimes in a new relationship, there is some testing of where those boundaries actually are. Like they might be like, do you REALLY mean what you said? Now that they know that you were unhappy, hopefully they will respect that and not do it again. I think as Morodiene said, it is easy to take offense when there is no need.

If it happens again, I'd do what TheoryGrl said if you really want to stick by your policy.

I had a similar experience this week. I have a written policy regarding keeping sick children home. I've had myself and my whole family get very ill from sick students in the past and can't afford the income loss. I take good care of myself and I know some illness is unavoidable, but I prefer not to unnecessarily expose myself to harm. A kid came to his lesson with the sniffles and slight cough. He told me he had been sent home from school with a fever and had skipped his sports class before coming to his lesson. I sent home a reminder note. It turned out the student wasn't truly sick at all. He suffers from fall allergies and has been using them to his advantage to get out of school frequently. Things aren't always what they seem. I would give them the benefit of the doubt and give them one more chance.

clarikeys, I am in the same situation. When the parent picked the child up, I addressed it, and that was the opportunity to tell me he has allergies. I did ask the child if he had allergies and he said no. Parent only said, "we sent him to school." I will give them another opportunity, but if he comes to a lesson sick, he will have to sit outside the room until they come pick him up, and I will remove them from my schedule. I don't need the hassle.

This is a very good example as what I mentioned in my thread about the teacher/student lesson/scheduling relationship. And since that thread, I've had a few more instances of this unfairness! If the teacher gets sick, who is it to say that it was a sniffling child's fault? Does the teacher not go to the grocery store, gas station, coffee shop, post office?? Is the only thing a piano teacher touches throughout an entire day is the piano a child plays on--and that's it? I don't think so!

Also, if a child has to miss school because of "sniffles", that puts a parent in a bad situation. Missed work, missed time, possible "unexcused absence" from schools since it was "just sniffles".

Teachers really need to stop acting this way.

In case anyone's interested, here are my tips on how to catch the sniffles :

1) Kiss everyone you meet on the cheek. Even better, both cheeks - especially your own children. Especially after they return from school. Especially if they have the sniffles (or feeling 'under the weather' or have fever - heralding the start of a viral infection), or been with friends who have them (which means - at any time). Even better, on the lips.

2) Be a touch-feely sort of person. Touch everyone. Shake hands with everyone, friend or foe. Then rub your eyes, nose & mouth. Let everyone touch you, especially on the face. Touch doorknobs and handles etc frequently, and touch your face afterwards. You deserve it.

3) Don't wash your hands regularly with soap & water - whether they look or feel clean or dirty.

4) Share your drinks & food with everyone, especially children, and use the same forks, spoons, cups etc after they've used them.

5) Touch your face regularly. Rub your eyes, your nose, your mouth. Especially after you've been with someone who has the sniffles, and touched the same objects.

6) Get stressed and worry that you're definitely, certainly, invariably, going to catch the sniffles - if not today, then tomorrow. The more you stress yourself, the better. Viruses love your stress.

Then revel in your sniffles, and your ability to get on with life despite them. And bask in the knowledge that your immune system has acquired another coat of armor every time you catch a virus (rhinovirus, RSV, whatever)........

Hope that helps.

Not to keep kicking the poor dead horse, but...

I am a virologist. Kids are most contagious and shed the most virus BEFORE the symptoms show up. Once snot is coming out of the nose, those are later stages of the illness, and kids generally feel much better by then, and are generally less contagious.

How do you deal with kids who are sick but are not sniffling yet? I would suggest wearing a mask and using hand sanitizer before and after every "patient".

Most places that teach kids consider a fever over 100 and/or throwing up as "sick". Maybe your policy spelled out that a runny nose is considered sick, but I bet you the parents (like most parents of 7-year-olds) didn't even think about it. I do not think it was an act of defiance on their part at all. In fact, they were probably really excited about the lesson and didn't want to inconvenience you by cancelling. I always feel guilty about cancelling, even if I am legit sick.

chasingrainbows,

You did the right thing to have the sick specifics definition and sick absence in writing and let the parents signed. Look like the parents did not pay much attention to the policy. After a clear communication, and show your firm line, they should get it. If they still drop in a sick kid again, let them go.

I notice that you already consider the pros and cons. That "If withdraw a kid from school because of sniffing, then the kid will miss 50% school days". Use the same statistics we can conclude that "If exclude sniffing from studio, half the studio time will be empty."
And You had first hand very bad experience of catch months illness from other people. After you evaluate your risks financially and physically, you come with the detailed policy. So I fully support you. Now the task is clear communicate with parent. If I were the parent, I would grateful to be notified sooner than later.
I had an experience to hire a teacher assistant, that is, she is not teaching, but she will help my son to finish his piano assignment. Three time a week, she drop in my home. In the second lesson, she caught some flu from my son. She said that she is a very sensitive person, she basically caught every flu from her family members. So we stopped the lessons. After one month, she recovered, she give one lesson, then sick again for another month. She live nearby, I know her mom quite well. I did notice that she got sick very often, almost every week in two weeks. To be honest, I did not give much thought about that sick-frequency, because my family member got flu maybe once in several years, Except my son, who catches something from school two to four times a year.
In retrospect, if I know she is so sensitive to contagious, I will not consider to hire her. It is no good for anyone. She got exposed to a flu-carrying school child, and my son's schedule has to change too.

I, personally, agree with you, CR, as I regard people who uncaringly spread their disease germs around as little short of a criminal class. But,if you are going to insist on this policy for piano students, you are going to have to move to another planet. That, or start specializing in distance learning. There's a market out there.

Take heart as you regard our recent social history. Thirty or so years ago, when I did not smoke and did not want smoke or anyone who smoked in my environment, smoke and smokers were everywhere. Hospitals even had ashtrays.

But now, when I do smoke (having picked up my first one as a joke), smoking has become the next thing to a capital crime, the way people carry on about it. I was never that bad; I would go out into the hall with my buddies who came to visit, while they had their smoke out there. We had some very amusing interludes, which unfortunately can find no place in this column.

While I don't know how old a person you may be, and therefore have no means of guessing whether you will live long enough for social mores to stand upon their head, I can at least suppose that it is possible... provided that a careless cough or sniffle does not carry you off to an early grave, or else to the poorhouse.

In the intervening thirty (or so) years, you might have a go at carving out a place for your studio as a niche market: a space for instruction free of the social diseases such as colds, while they take their leisurely course into turning into antisocial diseases. So to speak.

I have seen hospital rooms (on TV) where the patient's bed was set behind a germ barrier curtain of transparent plastic, and where visitors and staff wore, yes, masks AND gloves. And I don't see what would be such a big deal about giving a coughing or sniveling student a mask for the lesson. You could join in. And washing the hands together could provide a judgmentfree social interval. After all, this protection works in both directions.

Parents might ask themselves which course inconveniences them less, and I'll bet at least some of them will decide what's the difference if junior wears a mask during the lesson, as long as you are nice about it. And what parent could possibly take a stand against handwashing? No one, not to your face.

There are masks, and masks. Get the nice kind. They are more comfortable, and also more effective. Charge a buck or two; put it on the bill. Fair is fair.

It's more than possible, in these days of jet travel from pole to pole, that you might teach half the year in America, or Europe, and the other half in Australia, or South Africa. The only real problem with that, is germs on jets. These passengers are no more considerate than anyone else. Perhaps simply staying in Alaska all year might be the thing, and one travels there by boat, avoiding the germy jets. You will have to test these possibilities out for yourself, and judge of them.

Well... good luck.