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Confidential Conversations

Posted By: Bob

Confidential Conversations - 08/28/01 02:35 AM

Overheard in a Chinese Piano factory:

Hey, I ran out of hammer shanks, can I sub these bamboo shoots????

Overheard in a Mexican Piano factory:

Allright....who mixed the green wood with the dry stuff???

Overheard in a Korean Piano factory:

We kicked Sojin's ass, what more do you want???

Overheard in an American Piano factory:

I don't care if those units aren't tuned and regulated - ship them anyway!!!!!

Overheard in another Chinese factory:

Anyone seen the foam????

DISCLAIMER - The above do not represent the opinions of the writer, or Piano World, in fact, heck if I know what they represent!!!
Posted By: Beth

Re: Confidential Conversations - 08/28/01 02:42 AM

Thanks, Bob. I really needed the laugh.

How about finish this one...

Overheard at a piano dealer.....?
Posted By: Bob

Re: Confidential Conversations - 08/28/01 02:47 AM

Hmmm, perhaps Larry and Steve can help with that one??? wink
Posted By: Bob

Re: Confidential Conversations - 08/28/01 10:17 AM

Overheard in a European Piano factory:

No- you idiot- the extra notes go on the bass end!!!

Overheard in another European factory:

You bloody well better get that action finished by tea time!!
Posted By: Steve Cohen

Re: Confidential Conversations - 08/28/01 03:44 PM

This one is true:

I approached one of the District Sales Managers for Young Chang and asked him "How's life going?". His reply was "Not bad for a Korean Piano salesman!".
Posted By: Norbert

Re: Confidential Conversations - 08/28/01 06:12 PM

Maybe he just found a girlfriend.........
Posted By: Larry

Re: Confidential Conversations - 08/28/01 10:21 PM

OK. Here's some "Overheard in a dealer's showroom" stuff (actual statements made and questions asked over the years by customers)

1. I'm looking to purchase an artcase baby grand from around the turn of the century. It must be totally restored, with dainty legs instead of those massive looking ones. And I want light walnut, not mahogany. I'm prepared to go as high as 5,000 if it is perfect.

2. Gee, you play nice. If I buy it will you come with it? My husband isn't home on Thursdays.

3. What are those wires for?

4. I looked inside my piano today and there's a bunch of little square felt things laying on the strings. Is that covered under warranty?

5. What's that middle pedal, a brake?

6. I like this piano, but I need to check with my aunt. She's a concert pianist. (there must be 10 million concert pianists out there)

7. Boy, that's a big grand piano you've got sitting there. But my aunt has one bigger than that. Her's is 16' long. It's one of those famous German ones - Wurlitzer I think. She's a concert pianist.

8. Do you do finish repair? We were moving our piano ourselves and it fell out of the truck while we were going up I-75. There's a few scratches on it.

9. Do you warranty your tuning? We had you guys tune our piano 3 years ago and it's already out of tune.

10. Do you tune pianos? Do I need to bring it to you, or will you come to my house and do it?

11. Can you fix our piano? I wanted to clean the dirt off that big wooden thing in it that sits on top of the keys, so I had my husband take it out and hose it off. Now none of the keys will mash. I think all that's wrong with it is my dumb husband don't know how to get it back in the piano right.

12. Do you guys sell those metal winding pegs that stick in the top of a piano? I was tuning my piano with some vise grips and broke a bunch of them off.

13. We'd like to look at your handbuilt European verticals please, preferrably in the under 2,000 price range.

14. (my all time favorite, with both sides of the conversation):

"May I show you a piano?"
"No. I'm just looking."
"What kind of piano are you looking for?"
"Oh I don't want a piano. How much is this one?"
"Does it come in pink?"
"Do you want it in pink?"
"No. Is that your wife?"
"Yes, would you like to speak to her?"
"No, but she's sure pretty. Can she play?"
"Yes. Was there something else I could show you?"
"No. Well, I've got to go now. I had to leave my wife in the car because she peed on herself. I'm just letting her dry off so we can meet Elvis down there at the end of the street. He doesn't like it when we're late. Goodbye." (all true!!)
Posted By: David Burton

Re: Confidential Conversations - 08/28/01 10:48 PM

Posted By: Norbert

Re: Confidential Conversations - 08/28/01 11:14 PM

Larry:you just gotta know how to handle them!

"May I show you a piano"
"No, I'm just looking"
"Don't say... that's how I met my wife!!"

"How much is this piano?"
"Free", but you must take it now!"
"O.K, I'll think about it!"

"Does this piano have a steel soundboard?"
"If you insist, we can screw one onto back!"

"Can you hold this one for me?"
"Hold what? ...I'm not the mover,Mam....."

"My husband wants to know if this is a good
"Who cares,you're definitely better!"

"Can I bring my teacher?"
"Sure,provided she can play!"

"Can I save the tax by bringing cash?"
"Absolutely not, we only accept NSF cheques!"
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