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You Might be a Redneck Piano Tuna if You Think...

Good one Frank.

BTW, you CAN tuna fish; they have scales. But can you tuna sandwich?

Yes, Dave you can tuna sandwich. It does, of course, cost a lot of bread…………

Lazy tuna is a "tuna loaf?"

Tuna shows up on time a "tuna surprise?"

Tuna that brings in the paper a "tuna helper?"

I did hear that Beethoven at a very very early age raised a lot of eyebrows when he left his "First Movement" on the piano bench.

Everyone thinks it's amazing that Beetoven composed Minuet in G when he was three, but when I was two, I played with my toes...

It t'would appear Beethoven's problems began early.

Piano Tuna is a foreign term here in the South. Piana tewners swim the musical waters, along with the tuna's who have migrated south.

While on the topic of groaners...there was a young tuner that had very unstable tunings. Early on in his career he changed his name to Mr. Opperknockity. Whenever a customer called him back to retune their piano he would just say..."Opperknockity only tunes once."

Definition of a piano tuner: A person employed to come into the home,shoo away the children, rearrange the furniture, and annoy the cat. The tuner's chief purpose is to ascertain the breaking point of the piano's strings.

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." -- Bob Newhart

Know what u get if play a country song backwards?

Your dog back, you wife back, your truck back, momma gets out of jail, etc.......

Sam knows what he's talking about. I just played "Your're the reason our kids are so ugly" backwards on the tape desk on the ole pickup.
Turned it up to maximum volume. The wife and'er jailbird mama smashed all the winders out. The dog just sat thar watchin'.....

Last time I ever listen to Sam....

Since we're being insensitive...

What's the difference between a banjo and a chainsaw? You can tune up a chain saw...

How do you know the stage is level at a bluegrass concert? The banjo player is drooling out of both sides of his mouth...

How do get a banjo player out of a tree?

CUT THE ROPE!

(All of the above were told me by a public radio general manager, music director and grizzled banjo picker...)

What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?

Nobody cries when you cut up a banjo.
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What's the difference between a harmonica player and a banjo player?

Harmonica players only suck on every other note.
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A drummer decided to take up a new instrument. He went to the music store to look for an accordion. After browsing for a bit he told the salesman he wanted the big red accordion. The salesman shook his head and said, "You must be a drummer."

"How did you know?" the drummer asked.

"That's a radiator," came the reply.

What is perfect pitch? When the accordion lands on the banjo!

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve banjo players here?"
"Sure do," replied the bartender.
"Good," said the man.
"Give me a beer, and I'll have a banjo picker for my 'gator."

Ok, I am back from vacation for 2 days and I can't resist..

Why was the piano invented?
So the musician would have a place to put his beer.
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Why was the piano player arrested?
Because he got into treble.
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Little Noah came into the house with a new harmonica. "Grandpa, do you mind if I play this in here?"

"Of course not, Noah. I love music. In fact, when your grandma and I were young, music saved my life."

"What happened?"

"Well, it was during the famous Johnstown flood. The dam broke and when the water hit our house it knocked it right off the foundation. Grandma got on the dining room table and floated out safely."

"How about you?"

"Me? I accompanied her on the piano!"
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Piano Tuner: I've come to tune the piano.
Music Teacher: But we didn't send for you.
Piano Tuner: No, but the people who live across the street did.