Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Pianist Corner My son asked me to be in youtube!

Ok.

As a rather old member here, you probably remember me commenting against young children in videos, etc... I find that exposure to any kind of publicity too soon is destructive in most cases, regardless if it's about a prodigy kid or other...

But,

My son today in the car asked me if I could video tape him playing Bach and then get it on youtube! I didn't say much, nor I expressed any kind of objection at this point, but I did ask him why, in which case he wasn't too clear on his intentions. My guess is that he'd like to be there, with everything else he watches. He's eager to be one of 'them'.

He did get back to me asking me why my videos and me are on youtube, in which case we arrived at school, so I evaded the reply (although it's fairly obvious: For commercial and publicity reasons)...

PianoDad? Others?

Any comments, ideas, for this?

I do want to have videos of him playing, in his various stages, and I would like to share it with a few friends, but in private, not on the awful side of youtube (which is always there)...

No, I never noticed that.
Anyway, this is easy.
Just change your view.

....but seriously -- yeah.

I think your view was based on things that don't have much to do with most such situations. Yes, if a kid is shown doing something that he feels is crucial and if he receives harsh criticism on it, that probably would be destructive. But it's not like that at all for most things with kids. They're just having fun, they like being seen, they probably won't get criticism -- not much anyway -- and if they do, they'll probably think it's just silly.
He thinks it would be cool to be on there, and it probably would be.

Nikolas, you're a professional musician, if you think your son's playing has merit and should be shared, support him in that.

Before I wrote this I went to http://www.youtube.com/t/press_statistics and copied the following ...

Traffic

Over 800 million unique users visit YouTube each month
Over 4 billion hours of video are watched each month on YouTube
72 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube every minute

Whether his playing is absolutely superb, mediocre, or just plain bad, it will share hard drive space with seemingly countless others.

I've started taking my tablet to the gym and watching YouTube videos instead of watching any of the six TVs they provide.

Good morning. Your boy certainly thinks it would be cool to be on youtube, and it probably would be. Everything that MarkC says is true, I have no disagreement.

However that doesn't mean that you have to let him. Even if your position doesn't seem completely convincing under the eye of reason, even if he makes you feel a little hypocritical because you yourself are "on" youtube, you don't have to let him. You have, in my opinion, the right to decide, even to be arbitrary.

Personnally, I would not permit my kids to do it.

It is moving, isn't it, the admiration of a child for his father. I've got a little critter too, littler than yours I think, really makes life worth living.

I think that, if it would provide motivation for your son to continue, then it would not be out of line to support him in the endeavor. Like Dave Horne said, YouTube is a relatively saturated market, so if you're not out there promoting the work, it won't get viewed too many times.

Your son will probably share it with friends, which is likely a part of his goal--to feel that sense of accomplishment. But the professional music community at large will not pass it around and critique it. So, I don't think there's any risk there.

You may have to prepare him for negative comments, in the event some jackoff sees the video and decides to be, well, a jackoff. There's nothing you can do about that.. it happens. I'm a perfect example. There used to be a video of me fighting in a world martial arts tournament (which I won). There was one poster who seemed to think I couldn't fight. (It was laughable to me, and I was already in my late 20's, so I didn't care.) Point is, no matter what level you're at, there's always an idiot ready to critique you by pretending to be an expert.


If, after all considerations, you still want to keep it private, how about a compromise? Post the video "unlisted" (or even "private"). Then, your son can share the link with his friends, etc, but the larger community will not have open-ended access to it.

MUST BE RE-POSTED!!!

(With link!)

Guys...

My son is 9 and doesn't have an online persona (yet). He doesn't share anything on the net. So in his mind this is a bit bigger. He'd like to have other people search for him, or the works he plays and get to see him...

Are you scared he'll be disappointed that no one searches his videos and stuff? If not, I don't see why it's bad.

Hi Nikolas!

My kids are a wee bit older (18 and 21 this year) however I get these concerns. At such a young age I would also put the brakes on that taking place.

My youngest has almost no presence online. No facebook, youtube is only his favorite videos (none uploaded), and I do not post pictures or videos of my kids.

I would be honest with your son about the negatives of becoming an online presence. Maybe even go online with him and show him some examples. Tell him the truth about why you are online (publicity for your work.)

If your willing to compromise because it becomes apparent that this is really important to him, I'd go with the suggestion of a private linked video. Otherwise, I'd just go for the truth and say no.

Best of luck with this and what you ultimately decide. The internet is something I think we need to be very cautious with when it comes to our kids without stunting their growth along the way. (sounds like the right age to want to start exploring online too!)

I'd like to add to my earlier post, after reading what the others have to say, I do not have any worries about possible negative consequences of being on youtube.

But I think that kids have no business trying to get the attention of the whole wide WWW world. There is a scale that is appropriate to their age. No need to push them from the nest, nor to let them fall out inadvertently, their time will come.

Hi Nikolas,

Your son is taking an initiative. If you turn it down, your decision might hurt his feeling.

I bet you are a wise man who can look into your son's interests and safety while not denying his initiative.

The way that my parents did was not giving out my name before my name was out there because of my other non-music activities.

I would let him, with a few safeguards. One possibility would be to turn commenting off. (Or, monitor the comments closely and turn it off if they become nasty.) I would definitely set up a user name and profile that does not provide clues to your son's real name/location. YouTube recently urged me to use my real name rather than my userid on my channel. I declined. A third possibility would be to make sure the video shows only your son's hands and keyboards, not face or other identifying characteristics.

But if you are careful about the risks to privacy on the internet, I see little downside in letting him post his videos, and potential upside. I'm guessing he'll be a little more motivated to polish his pieces, and the extra excitement and enthusiasm is a plus.

Hi Nikolas,

There have been two comments that I found relevant in my own thinking about this (as a parent of two). The first was that your son is taking initiative. He may want to be like his Dad (is that a bad thing?) or he may want to impress his friends, for me the motivation is irrelevant. He wants to share his playing music with the world. I think that's cool and respect it. The second was Monica's suggestions, though I'm not sure I'd go so far as to show only his hands. If showing off for his friends is part of this then he'll want to be recognizable, but definitely don't use his real name nor anything that would indicate location. For me the clincher is his initiative, that's not something you want to stifle. It will serve him well throughout life.

Nikolas, your son is obviously and rightfully extremely important to you as a father.
However, you also have to understand that at nine yrs old he is living in a world that has moved on so very very much since our youth.

Most kids these days ( in the UK at least) already have mobile phones and internet connections and have the ability and understanding of how to use them, usually better than the average adult ( if such a being exists)but you know what I mean, drop down menus after drop down menus that drive us mad are just childs play to the child.

Technnology can be used for good or ill, and with parental guidance the ill can be minimised.

Many adults resisted their child owning a mobile, till they realised that their child is safer with one than without for good reasons. ( If they get lost or heavens forbid worse.)

Your child also lives in an enviroment where his or her peers have the use and access to technology of many kinds and also of course to youtube...

The last thing you would want is to deprive him or her of what his or her peers have, as this oft may lead to bullying at school and such like... You dont want him or her to be the only kid not to have stuff on youtube, if all the other kids that he knows that have something to put up on youtube, do so.

It may lead to resentment .

be proud of him and allow "comments only with approval" on youtube, this way you get to to see the comment and decide whether to allow it or not.