Welcome to the Piano World Piano Forums
Over 2.5 million posts about pianos, digital pianos, and all types of keyboard instruments
Join the World's Largest Community of Piano Lovers (it's free)
It's Fun to Play the Piano ... Please Pass It On!


SEARCH
Piano Forums & Piano World
(ad)
Virtual Sheet Music
Download Sheet Music Instantly
Virtual Sheet Music - Classical Sheet Music Downloads
Sheet Music...
(125ad)
Piano Life Saver - Dampp Chaser
Dampp Chaser Piano Life Saver
(ad)
Modern Piano Moving
Modern Piano Moving
(ad)
Piano Buyer Guide
Piano Buyer Spring 2017
(ad)
Lindeblad Piano
Lindeblad Piano Restorations and sales
Who's Online Now
120 registered members (36251, 17curleyj, agraffe, ando, Albunea, 38 invisible), 1,834 guests, and 5 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
(ad)
Estonia Pianos
Estonia Pianos
Quick Links to Useful Piano & Music Resources
Our Classified Ads
Find Piano Professionals-

*Piano Dealers - Piano Stores
*Piano Tuners
*Piano Teachers
*Piano Movers
*Piano Restorations
*Piano Manufacturers

Quick Links:
*Advertise On Piano World
*Free Piano Newsletter
*Online Piano Recitals
*Piano Recitals Index
*Piano & Music Accessories
*Live Piano Venues
*Music School Listings
* Buying a Piano
*Buying A Acoustic Piano
*Buying a Digital Piano
*Pianos for Sale
*Sell Your Piano
*How Old is My Piano?
*Directory/Site Map
*Virtual Piano
*Music Word Search
*Piano Videos
*Virtual Piano Chords & Scales
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 6 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
#931067 - 06/04/08 02:22 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 378
Coolkid70 Offline
Full Member
Coolkid70  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 378
Irvine, CA
Mechanical Doll:

A fair point.

Although I did not say it (and I don't think anyone really needs to), I think that it is simply up to Elise to do what she needs to do. I just wanted to reiterate the alternative to quitting - it would really be a shame if she regretted this.


One of my teachers from high school made a remark about student-teacher relationships: when students are younger, they tend to see teachers more like "an adult who makes me do work" and less like people. So, it would be understandable for a student of a young age to feel that any particular teacher is doing everything against him, which obviously can stir up perhaps an even nonexistent situation.

Maybe I didn't really explain it clearly enough, originally, but the point of my post was to ask the original poster to consider this type of scenario and make sure this wasn't happening.

But to tell you the truth, I don't think I would have bought a word I just said when I was fourteen.


Kawai K-3 (2008)
(ad)
Piano & Music Accessories
piano accessories music gifts tuning and moving equipment
#931068 - 06/04/08 03:09 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 610
SantaFe_Player Offline
500 Post Club Member
SantaFe_Player  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 610
New Mexico
To miaeih:

You're absolutely correct about scientists and engineers being musicians. In a previous place I lived, members of the scientific community included national piano competition winners, principal soloists in the city's opera company, first-chair players in the city's symphony orchestra.

In other words, Elise - doing science (or medicine) is not exclusive of high levels of achievement as a musician and active performing life. In fact there's a good bit of evidence to support the opinion that music improves one's science and math skills, and vica versa. Both require training both sides of the brain, you see.

You don't want to teach? I bet you do some of it even now, maybe without realizing it. We all do, in some capacity, even even when not formally someone's "teacher." But we understand what you mean - at this point, you don't see yourself focusing on education as your life's work.


SantaFe_Player
Heels down, and tickle the bit.
#931069 - 06/04/08 05:15 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 18,137
Monica K. Offline

Platinum Supporter until Dec 31 2012
Monica K.  Offline

Platinum Supporter until Dec 31 2012


Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 18,137
Lexington, Kentucky
Hi Elise,

I'm sorry to hear that the conversation went so badly. I have always thought that lessons should be enjoyable, so I have been consistent in recommending that you find another teacher, if possible. The bad news is that I'm guessing your parents will be unlikely to consider such a request until summer is over. The good news, if there is any, is that your teacher is now aware that you are unhappy, and unhappy enough to the point that you had your father join you for that conversation. It is possible--probably not likely, but possible--that your teacher will make an attempt to change his behavior and that things will get better. For your sake, I hope they do. Whether this guy is a great teacher or not is immaterial to the fact that you do not like lessons with him.

If things do not improve over the next couple of weeks, I suggest you do some proactive searching around and gather recommendations for other good teachers in your area. Then go back once again to your parents, explain you love piano and do not wish to abandon your studies completely, but emphasize that you cannot continue with the current teacher. Then tell them that you have found an alternative teacher who comes highly recommended by X, and that you wish to change teachers.

I wish you the greatest luck. I would hate to see you turn away from piano completely because of this.


Mason & Hamlin A -- 91997
My YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/pianomonica
[Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image]
#931070 - 06/04/08 06:18 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 802
Innominato Offline
500 Post Club Member
Innominato  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 802
London
In my eyes the conversation went very well. Everyone (the teacher during the conversation and certainly in the "german" part, where we see the many advantages of knowing German wink , and you afterwards with your father) made clear what you both want: you want another teacher, he does not want to bend his rules for you. So the cards have been laid nicely on the table in front of your father, which is very important.

The kitchen is hot. He says so and says that in order to stay in the kitchen, you must not be afraid of the heath. He cannot tell you that if you cannot stand the heat you should get out of the kitchen, because that would be rude toward your father (though he might have said something to the extent to him in sweet german words, if such any exist.. wink ).
Your father on the other hand (understandably) wants to see how you stand the heat before deciding about the kitchen, this is fully reasonable and in my eyes you do him no justice by calling the situation "unfair": he obviously weighs the discomfort you have (and which you will always, always have in life: at work, in the family, with friends) with the obvious talent and competence of this man, and does not want that his daughter loses on such a wonderful learning possibility.

Time will tell.

I would like to repeat what I wrote in my first message: unpleasant as they are, this situations build a young person's spine. I find not only the teacher valuable, but the situation too.

In case, it might be worth talking with your father along the lines that, as *he* wants to keep you with the teacher and *the teacher* does demand a higher level of commitment, in order to deliver this level without losing all private life something else will have to give; perhaps together with your father you will identify some extracurricular activities which should better, at this point, being sacrificed on the altar of the piano.

Best of lucks.


"The man that hath no music in himself / Nor is not mov'd with concord of sweet sounds / Is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils." (W.Shakespeare)

Kemble Conservatoire 335025 Walnut Satin
#931071 - 06/04/08 06:33 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 209
nycplayer Offline
Full Member
nycplayer  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 209
New York
Quote
Originally posted by SantaFe_Player:
To miaeih:

You're absolutely correct about scientists and engineers being musicians. In a previous place I lived, members of the scientific community included national piano competition winners, principal soloists in the city's opera company, first-chair players in the city's symphony orchestra.

In other words, Elise - doing science (or medicine) is not exclusive of high levels of achievement as a musician and active performing life. In fact there's a good bit of evidence to support the opinion that music improves one's science and math skills, and vica versa. Both require training both sides of the brain, you see.
How true. A 30-year old surgeon and accomplished pianist was profiled recently in the Science section of the New York Times.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/20/health/20prof.html?scp=1&sq=piano+and+medicine&st=nyt

#931072 - 06/04/08 06:53 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 267
miaeih Offline
Full Member
miaeih  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 267
SF Bay Area, CA
Since it seems that you will have to put up with your teacher some more, try you best not to internalize the yelling (note that I said not internalizing vs ignoring =P). In many cultures, yelling IS how teaching is done. That doesn't mean the student is not doing well; this is even indicated by "the talk" that you are doing better than you thought you were. In fact, sometimes only good students receive the yelling.

...and yes, it will be hard to do.


((We could probably do a study on the responses so far and checking the posters' background))

#931073 - 06/04/08 07:34 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,639
John v.d.Brook Offline
7000 Post Club Member
John v.d.Brook  Offline
7000 Post Club Member

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,639
Olympia, Washington, USA
Lest we forget, or for those who do not work regularly with middle school students, passionate speaking by adults is often equated with yelling.


"Those who dare to teach must never cease to learn." -- Richard Henry Dann
Full-time Private Piano Teacher offering Piano Lessons in Olympia, WA. www.mypianoteacher.com
Certified by the American College of Musicians; member NGPT, MTNA, WSMTA, OMTA
#931074 - 06/04/08 09:51 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,052
AZNpiano Offline
7000 Post Club Member
AZNpiano  Offline
7000 Post Club Member

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,052
Orange County, CA
Quote
Originally posted by John v.d.Brook:
Lest we forget, or for those who do not work regularly with middle school students, passionate speaking by adults is often equated with yelling.
I teach middle school. This happens every day. Thank God there are only 4 school days left before Summer Break. Can't wait to get a batch of better students come September. smile


Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member
#931075 - 06/04/08 10:16 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 378
Coolkid70 Offline
Full Member
Coolkid70  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 378
Irvine, CA
Quote
Originally posted by AZNpiano:
Quote
Originally posted by John v.d.Brook:
[b] Lest we forget, or for those who do not work regularly with middle school students, passionate speaking by adults is often equated with yelling.
I teach middle school. This happens every day. Thank God there are only 4 school days left before Summer Break. Can't wait to get a batch of better students come September. smile [/b]
Right on!


Kawai K-3 (2008)
#931076 - 06/04/08 11:29 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 70
Dramaqueen Offline
Full Member
Dramaqueen  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 70
Canada
Elise,
I want to chime in and tell you that my heart goes out to you. I was in a very similar situation as a child. If you have time and patience to put up with a long story read away....

I was a gifted child musician. I taught myself to play at age 4 and convinced my parents that I could do lessons even though I was not reading yet. I started lessons at 4 1/2 and learned to read just before I turned 5. I loved piano. Loved it to the exclusion of all else. I would play all day if given a choice and in the beginning I did play for hours since home work was non-existent at that time. I started competing at age 7 and was told by adjudicators and teachers that I was well on my way to becoming a great pianist.

There was a problem though. I despised my teacher. She was "old school" as it is said these days. She was very strict, unhappy (in my eyes) and took the joy of playing right out of me when I was there. She would rap my hands with a ruler if I used the wrong fingering, she taped blocks of styrofoam to my sides so that I would not bring my elbows to close to my body. She even stopped my performance in the middle of a recital to criticize what I was playing and made me start again... 4 TIMES! before she was satisfied. Now, understand I was between the ages of 5-10 when this was happening. I did not have the communication skills to express my distress with what was going on. I could not put it into words at the time but now I look back and say I felt humiliated and degraded with that type of teaching.

I'm not sure even today if my parents would have changed anything if they had known. Everyone was so convinced that I was doing so well that I'm not sure they would have heard me. I think they would have heard a child complaining and feeling life is unfair and they would have seen someone having an opportunity to do something that not everyone gets to do.

So now jump ahead a few years. I am in the 13-15 year old range. We moved and I had a new teacher. This teacher was ok. I still was unhappy but mainly because she did not get me into competing. I pushed myself hard and I felt she held me back. Then I did what now I consider to be the worst move of my life. I dropped it. I didn't look for a new teacher, I didn't talk about the problems, I ran away. I missed it everyday of my life but did not feel I could go back to it. I wanted this other 'wonderful' life that all my other teenage friends had. Except now I was depressed. My life went downhill... another long story, and it took my 13 years to get back into piano.

I have had many health issues, including fracturing my spine a few years ago but I am determined not to give up this time. I'm no where near as good as I once was but with time and diligence I have found a peace being able to play once again. As an adult, I knew what I wanted in a teacher. I interviewed many and finally found someone who I respect and admire. She pushes me hard, does not let me get away with anything, but loves music, loves teaching and can make me laugh to tears during a lesson.

ok, if you have made it this far please keep reading, I promise I am almost done smile

Elise, I know this is a hard time for you right now. You are figuring out who you are and what you want and that is not an easy time in life (for anyone!) Your frustration with your teacher is exactly that, YOUR frustration. It does not mean he is a bad teacher (and I don't believe you have said that) just not the right teacher for you. I hope that you will continue in your pursuit of piano. I hope that you will not let this potential bad experience ruin what might be a lifelong love. I truly hope that your family will hear and understand what you are saying to them. And maybe, just maybe,you will have to wait to you are an adult to find that right teacher, I truly hope that is not the case.

Good luck to you. Keep giving us updates. I want to know what happens smile


Currently preparing for Grade 9 RCM
New private piano teacher
Kindermusik Educator
Just bought: Kawai GM-10k
#931077 - 06/05/08 12:52 AM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,052
AZNpiano Offline
7000 Post Club Member
AZNpiano  Offline
7000 Post Club Member

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,052
Orange County, CA
Quote
Originally posted by Dramaqueen:
She even stopped my performance in the middle of a recital to criticize what I was playing and made me start again... 4 TIMES! before she was satisfied.
Wow! I should try that at the next recital. eek Are you sure it was a recital? I mean, that sounds like a master class, in which the teacher is instructing the student in front of other students.


Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member
#931078 - 06/05/08 05:42 AM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 802
Innominato Offline
500 Post Club Member
Innominato  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 802
London
"Are you sure it was a recital?"

Well if a person is able to hit her pupils with a ruler I would not be entirely surprised.... smile I thought I grew up, discipline-wise, in a post-fascist environment, but am thinking of rapidly changing my mind.. wink smile

Dramaqueen, a question on the side for you: what does it mean "currently working on grade 9 Royal Conservatory"? Does it mean that you can pick up, as a "privatier" so to speak, only a certain discipline (say: piano performance) and being examined on that; or does it mean that you have to cope with all the rest (say: music theory, solfege, composition perhaps, whatever else?) if you want to have your "piano proficinecy" graded in terms of conservatory grades?

Thanks and sorry for the digression.


"The man that hath no music in himself / Nor is not mov'd with concord of sweet sounds / Is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils." (W.Shakespeare)

Kemble Conservatoire 335025 Walnut Satin
#931079 - 06/05/08 05:57 AM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 802
Innominato Offline
500 Post Club Member
Innominato  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 802
London
Another tought.

I was thinking of all the teachers I had.

Funny thing: the best were those who almost never paid me a compliment, and I assure you at school and university I was, I have to say, brilliant by any standard.

It seems some people "sense" that a good teaching work goes together with a kind of reservedness, which lets the pupil work harder to get the desired approval of the teacher. Then, even a little word, once in a while, makes one happier than all the "oh-what-a-wonderful-human-being-you-are-even-if-you-did-all- wrong" talking one hears more often nowadays.

The harder people were, at the end, those who cared most. Only, they had a way to care that was not so easily understandable to my young and impressionable mind.

It's fair to say that time did them, in the end, justice.


"The man that hath no music in himself / Nor is not mov'd with concord of sweet sounds / Is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils." (W.Shakespeare)

Kemble Conservatoire 335025 Walnut Satin
#931080 - 06/05/08 08:52 AM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 70
Dramaqueen Offline
Full Member
Dramaqueen  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 70
Canada
Oh yes, definitely a recital. I was 9 when that happened by the way. It was one of the most humiliating and degrading experiences I have ever had. I don't remember her doing this to anyone else though my sister says that she did, but only to a couple of kids. My parents told me she did this because they felt that she was pushing because I was 'talented'. I can't say that I bought that reasoning though I have heard of this approach. The writing teacher pushing the child that writes well to help them improve and so on. I just don't believe that it is necessary to get a good education in any subject.

Innominato, to answer you question. When I started back in piano in my late 20's I had regressed quite a bit. I had injured my shoulder and had a multitude of other issues.When I quit at age 15 I was playing Grade 10 music and was studying for the exam. I am still studying RCM (Royal Conservatory of music) but had to back track to grade 7. I am now in grade 9 and am preparing for my exam next year. I was suppose to do it this year but once again health issues got in the way. I am also doing my beginner pedagogy degree next year which qualifies me to teach beginner to RCM grade 2. I have taken my theory rudiments (though years ago) and did a refresher course this year. Once my pedagogy is finished I will move on to history and harmony and all the others including my next level of pedagogy. My goal is to get my ARCT in teaching. This is an eventual goal because I have many years where I am unable to do exams because of health.

Hope that answers your question.


Currently preparing for Grade 9 RCM
New private piano teacher
Kindermusik Educator
Just bought: Kawai GM-10k
#931081 - 06/05/08 09:48 AM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 16
Really a trumpet player Offline
Junior Member
Really a trumpet player  Offline
Junior Member

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 16
California
Wow.
I hope you can use some of the advice everyone has given you. You have a ton of support. What a wealth of experiances there are for you to learn from. My only advice is try not to let anyone take away your love for music.

#931082 - 06/05/08 06:10 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 802
Innominato Offline
500 Post Club Member
Innominato  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 802
London
Hi dramaqueen and congratulations for your re-gained proficiency (well, ruler or no ruler the dame must have been good .. smile ).

No, you didn't answer my question smile

I pose it again in a different way:
The RCM exam that you are preparing (not the ARCT exam) has as only content and object *how you play the piano* or are there other things that you must do to pass the exam (example: sight reading; knowledge of music theory etc)?

Or again: if I would like to prepare one day an exam like that, would the simple playing pieces be all there is to it or would I have to be confronted with things I have no interest in, like sight reading?

Thanks again!


"The man that hath no music in himself / Nor is not mov'd with concord of sweet sounds / Is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils." (W.Shakespeare)

Kemble Conservatoire 335025 Walnut Satin
#931083 - 06/05/08 06:52 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 70
Dramaqueen Offline
Full Member
Dramaqueen  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 70
Canada
Ah, sorry, now I understand.
Yes, there is more than knowing my pieces when I do an exam.
Here is a list of the some of the things technique wise that I need to know for my grade 9 exam

All major and minor scales
Formula patterns
Octave scales in certain keys
Chromatic scales in every key
Octave chromatic scales in certain keys
4 note chords solid and broken in all major and minor keys
Arpeggios in all major and minor keys, root, first and second inversion. (4 octaves)
All of these things of metronome markings with varying speeds.

I also need to sight read a passage
Do playbacks
Clap a pattern
Name intervals, and chords which the adjudicator plays but I don't see
Also name cadences of either perfect, plagal or imperfect. Again adjudicator playing without me watching.

I can't remember if there is more but I don't have my syllabus in front of me right now. BTW, you can pick up a RCM syllabus and have all this info. if you are thinking of preparing for an exam

HTH


Currently preparing for Grade 9 RCM
New private piano teacher
Kindermusik Educator
Just bought: Kawai GM-10k
#931084 - 06/05/08 07:41 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 14,414
keystring Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
keystring  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 14,414
Canada
Dramaqueen, when I did my conservatory exams they wanted the name of my teacher, and he had a registration number. - I wonder whether a teacher is required. By the way, it is lovely to read your story about your return. My very best wishes.

#931085 - 06/07/08 06:06 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 81
Elise_B Offline
Full Member
Elise_B  Offline
Full Member

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 81
nyc
So I quit. I could not get myself to start the twice a week ordeal. It fels kind of lousy.. But then I have been playing 4 hours or more a day since school pretty much wrapped up. and it feels free and wonderful.I have been listening to Askhenazy's WTC and loving it (no humming!!GG was my only other CD of WTC before this one).. so I am learning a couple of pieces from book 2 that I had not done before with my teacher. I see that I do need the guidance..
My dad has been out of town. he is furious with me..It won't be pretty when he is back, but I hope things will cool off soon. My friend who also quit the same teacher a few years ago (by like lesson 3) gave me the names of new teachers.
I will have to see how it goes.. or not..
Thanks for all the good advice. I know nobody said that I should just quit but .. anyway, I hope the anti-middle school student squad will take it easy on me!).

#931086 - 06/07/08 09:33 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 14,414
keystring Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
keystring  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 14,414
Canada
Hi Elise (I'm a student) I read two things. You are now playing the piano 4 hours a day. This is a good thing for you to do without or with lessons. By trying to do pieces on your own for the first time you are seeing where your teacher's guidance benefited you, which you could not see while you were in the middle of lessons.

I cannot not advise. It is good that you are playing the piano, trying pieces, exploring and understanding your experience.

#931087 - 06/07/08 10:45 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 4,896
Betty Patnude Offline
4000 Post Club Member
Betty Patnude  Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 4,896
Puyallup, Washington
I think you took a big step in personal integrity. You put a stop to continuing in what was, in your opinion, a bad situation.

You will learn how to open doors and close doors softly to allow reentry.

And you will know when to take an important stand and when something can remain pending.

What else is on the agenda to make things possible for you again?

Good luck!

Betty

#931088 - 06/08/08 02:20 AM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 10,856
keyboardklutz Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
keyboardklutz  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 10,856
London, UK (though if it's Aug...
Plenty more fish in the sea Elise!


snobbyish, yet maybe helpful.
http://keyboardclass.blogspot.com/

#931089 - 06/08/08 09:06 AM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 81
Elise_B Offline
Full Member
Elise_B  Offline
Full Member

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 81
nyc
Quote
Originally posted by Betty Patnude:
What else is on the agenda to make things possible for you again?
Betty
first face paternal music, then hope for a new teacher.
Thanks Betty

#931090 - 06/08/08 11:19 AM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 14,414
keystring Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
keystring  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 14,414
Canada
What I see, Elise, is that up to now you have never been able to truly choose or evaluate. Each thing has been forced on you. Now you are playing the piano because you want to, and you can see what you can do, and where your teacher helped you, with your own eyes without "all that". It's your own experience.

How would it have been if you had *chosen* to play music, and *chosen* to learn from this teacher? First you must experience music and your musical path as your own. That is what you are doing now.

The expression "paternal music" really jumped out at me.

Regardless of what teacher you study with, when it is a "self-music" and not "paternal music" and a thing you choose the experience will be different in a positive way.

The first thing you did was to play the piano for four hours, where before you had barely managed one. The second thing was to see the benefits of a teacher, meaning that you were not satisfied playing with what you can do now. Real choosing comes from that. Your music is yours. A teacher helps you make it better. Keep playing.

I am an adult student, and parent of someone who chose to study an instrument when close to 13, close to your age. He is now a young adult. The very fact that he was in the studio by choice because he wanted to learn, and then practiced because he had chosen this, made a huge difference.

Your leaving behind "paternal music" and making it yours and by choice seems hugely important. Very best wishes.

KS

#931091 - 06/08/08 11:36 AM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 4,896
Betty Patnude Offline
4000 Post Club Member
Betty Patnude  Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 4,896
Puyallup, Washington
Elise,

By paternal music, you mean Dad's wrath or frustration or facing up to going against his advice and opinion of the situation?

What about Mom?

And your older brother who studied/studies with this man?

I think the bottom line for you is that you don't want someone in your life in any capacity, not just as a piano teacher, who you have such an consistently adverse reaction to because of the way he thinks and treats you.

Does he possibly treat all young women like this?

You need to find a piano teacher you really like whom you can't cooperate fully with because music study with this person gives you progress and enjoyment and restores and refreshes the young musician that you are.

Betty

#931092 - 06/08/08 12:09 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 14,414
keystring Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
keystring  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 14,414
Canada
I have guessed "paternal music" to mean that music has always been through father's eyes and father's wishes. Now there will be music through Elise's eyes and Elise's wishes. She will feel her own music. She will choose music because it is her own love of music.

Elise, did I understand this correctly?

#931093 - 06/08/08 12:26 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,264
btb Offline
4000 Post Club Member
btb  Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,264
Pretoria South Africa
"Fur Elise"

All the reasoned solutions by benign-minded bystanders is just so much well meant spinsterish hot air ... the message bandied about when I was your age was ... "GROW UP!!".

To quote the Gershwins
"One of these mornin’s ... You goin’ to rise up singin’,
Then yo’ll spread your wings ... an’ you’ll take the sky.

But till that mornin’ ... there’s a nothin’ can harm you ...
With (tyranical) Daddy an’ (non-est) Mammy standin’ by".

#931094 - 06/08/08 12:29 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 81
Elise_B Offline
Full Member
Elise_B  Offline
Full Member

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 81
nyc
Betty


Elise,

By paternal music, you mean Dad's wrath or frustration or facing up to going against his advice and opinion of the situation?


Both of the above


What about Mom?


goes back and forth. dad calls the shots on this one, I am pretty sure


And your older brother who studied/studies with this man?

my brother is a lot older than me, (28y). He studied with another teacher but takes master classes with my (ex-) teacher and they are major buddies.


I think the bottom line for you is that you don't want someone in your life in any capacity, not just as a piano teacher, who you have such an consistently adverse reaction to because of the way he thinks and treats you.

true


Does he possibly treat all young women like this?

no idea. I stayed around once for the lesson following me. new kid my age, came highly recommended.. (Radu Lupu wanna be, zenn and all..). I did not think he played that fantastically.. if I trilled the way he did, I would be out the window ).. yet the teacher was sort of normal. no major thunderstorms.. but he is unpredictable. so I don't know .

in brief, I was never coerced into piano even though I was home taught at an early age. i love it and it will always be a very important part of my life. I just don't want to be taught like this, whatever the consequences may be. Life for me is now, not in 10 or whatever years.

#931095 - 06/09/08 11:45 AM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 802
Innominato Offline
500 Post Club Member
Innominato  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 802
London
I think paternal music was meant to be the inevitable storm when the father comes home, please mind this little "coup d' etat" seem to have been staged when the prime minister was on state visit.. wink

But I notice this: if you are ready to step up from one hour to four, why not give the teacher (that is, I must say: yourself) a last chance and see how it goes from there?

From what one has read up to now, apart from shorts and chewing gums the main problems resided with the art the music is played, or if you wish with the level of commitment. Once this commitment is seriously stepped up, this should automatically solve most of the problems.
Not all, of course, but life never does.

Useless to say that if your father now gives in on your desire to have a new teacher after you have unilaterally forced his hand in his absence, this will set a very dangerous precedent of the "fait accompli" as an excellent way of achieving one's aim. I am personally very curious to know how it goes, please keep us posted.... wink


"The man that hath no music in himself / Nor is not mov'd with concord of sweet sounds / Is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils." (W.Shakespeare)

Kemble Conservatoire 335025 Walnut Satin
#931096 - 06/09/08 12:18 PM Re: Teacher problems  
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 81
Elise_B Offline
Full Member
Elise_B  Offline
Full Member

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 81
nyc
why the fixation on my shortcomings and not this teacher's methods? Is taht not important?

Page 6 of 9 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Moderated by  Ken Knapp 

Piano Acc. & Gift Items in
Piano World's Online Store
In PianoSupplies.com ,(a division of Piano World) our online store for piano and music gifts and accessories, party goods, tuning equipment, piano moving equipment, benches, lamps Caster Cups and more.


Free Shipping on Jansen Artist Piano Benches
ad
Pierce Piano Atlas


(ad)
Pianoteq
Grotrian Concert
Royal
for Pianoteq out now
What's Hot!!
Why Do You Play The Piano?
-------------------
Posting Pictures on the Forums
-------------------
Forums RULES & HELP
-------------------
ADVERTISE on Piano World
-------------------
Piano Classified Ads
New Topics - Multiple Forums
Acousticsamples C7 $49
by bsntn99. 05/29/17 06:03 PM
Help with big chords in Liszt Mephisto Waltz no.1
by LawlAoux. 05/29/17 04:49 PM
Steinway competitor
by BruceD. 05/29/17 04:32 PM
Worst last notes of a piece to miss
by pianoloverus. 05/29/17 04:22 PM
Pianoteq 5 Standard: How to Transpose?
by newbert. 05/29/17 01:13 PM
(ad)
Sheet Music Plus
Sheet Music Plus Featured Sale
(ad)
Accu-Tuner
Sanderson Accu-Tuner
Report Problems With New Forums
Report Problems with New Forums Here!
Forum Statistics
Forums44
Topics179,963
Posts2,631,003
Members87,920
Most Online15,252
Mar 21st, 2010
Visit our online store for gifts for music lovers

 
Help keep the forums up and running with a donation, any amount is appreciated!
Or by becoming a Subscribing member! Thank-you.
Donate   Subscribe
 
Our Piano Related Classified Ads
| Dealers | Tuners | Lessons | Movers | Restorations | Pianos For Sale | Sell Your Piano |

Advertise on Piano World
| Subscribe | Piano World | PianoSupplies.com | Advertise on Piano World |
| |Contact | Privacy | Legal | About Us | Site Map | Free Newsletter |


copyright 1997 - 2017 Piano World ® all rights reserved
No part of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0