Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum "Playing at home better" illusion

It would be nice if the orginal poster would chime in!

To the OP,

This is what I believe regarding this topic and this is how I handle the situation when I have students like these, and it works very well for them to get over this "I can play it better at home" statement, which if facilitated or placated to, imo, only inhibits their learning process and feeling of calmness at the lesson.

I'm quite happy that I'm neither deluded nor lying to myslef or anyone else.

To me, playing my best is nothing short of perfection. I very rarely achieve it, and over the years I have managed to make my peace with that, which is hard as I'm a perfectionist at heart.

And when I do play something perfectly, those are the moments I live for. Whether it's at home, in a lesson or during a public performace makes no difference to me. In that moment, lost in the music I only ever play for me.

I agree 100% Glaswegian.

I go through the same thing.

We play our pieces the best we can for what they are worth at the time we play them and at the venue we are at.

That is all we can ask for and all we can do.

The piano teacher is dealing with things that happen at the lesson - reality in the present moment.

The student is saying "I played it better at home."

In reading the similar topics about this, I'm hearing the other things that the adult student doesn't express to us.

That would be how the playing differs - is it basic comfort level?

Is it the piece?

Is it the teacher?

The teacher's piano?

The lighting?

Since they bring the information to attention saying I played it better at home. There must be lost of of things they could share with us as to why they are saying that.

If I try to pinpoint it from the students viewpoint and prod for more information, and ask "Why do you say that?" I am going to be seen as:
1) Assertive
2) Demanding
3) Arrogant
4) Thoughtless

How would adult beginners respond to a teacher asking, "Why do you say that?"

I can only teach to what I see and hear, and the experiences I've had with the student to date. If there is more I need to know about the student, I need to hear it from their willingness to tell me.

Perhaps the illusion is that we shouldn't talk about this subject at all, because we are really talking about criticizing the student.

Does anyone say, "I would like to play it here at my lesson as well as I think I play it at home."

Let's prevent the frustration, anger, misunderstandings. How do we do that?

Betty

Ok, I freely admit to derailing this thread for a moment.
Elementary question: In practising during the week, should your practising consist of playing it through? What does practising entail?

I have a reason for asking this. It does tie in with the "ippebaw syndrom", but I don't know how far I want to go with this.

Hi - I'm an adult student (and generally super-stressed perfectionist) who very often says "I played this better at home!" -- often followed by, "really, I swear!" :p

For me - I think it's about frustration. It feels like - how I play in my lesson is completely unpredictable. It feels like even if I practice for 40 hours in a week, I just don't know what's going to happen when I sit down in front of my teacher. I can have it memorized, and feel really good (not perfect - but at a point where I feel good about it and can hear it coming together) and it can still totally fall apart within the first couple measures.

This feeling of unpredictability causes me great stress, because honestly, it feels like no matter what I do in practice - no matter how much time I spend or how together the piece feels, I have no idea what's going to happen. So it feels like, even if things seem to be going well, I am on edge because disaster is just a breath away! It's VERY unnerving!

And this stress is felt most strongly at the beginning of my lesson when I sit to play my first piece for my teacher, and I'm sure the stress makes me even more prone to screw up!

I logically understand that if I could be more relaxed, I'd probably make less mistakes - but I can't figure out how to make myself relax. By definition, it's not something you can force yourself to do, and this seems to be part of my personality beyond just piano...

I *do* think what others have mentioned - about realizing that you're not "performing" for your teacher - is true. But - for me - I know it "logically", but not "emotionally". If I've memorized a piece and practiced it for a week or two, and sit down and expect that I can get through it relatively error-free (because I was able to do so comfortably at home, and 10 minutes ago warming up!) - then regardless it feels like a performance.

The times I've felt like we're working together on something have been MUCH LESS STRESSFUL. So - for example - when we actually *work* on a piece, when I get suggestions for things to try, or he demonstrates something and has me imitate it, or we talk about how it's constructed or fingerings or whatever. When I'm trying out the suggestions, I feel more relaxed I think, because it's clear that it's in the "working" stage, and it's not expected to be perfect

Another thing I've noticed that may relate. When I took singing lessons (short period of time with 2 teachers, awhile ago) - my teachers were both *very* positive, they went out of their way to find things I was doing well, and to tell me. It was encouraging. Maybe some adults wouldn't like this, but it made me feel good - and helped establish their studios as a safe place to "try" - singing in front of people (especially when you know you're not good!!!) is HARD and can make you feel very self-conscious, and they both did a wonderful job of getting me QUICKLY past that.

My piano teacher is not like that at all. He's a great guy, but doesn't have the same personality. He does notice good things, but tends to point them out in a side-ways manner. (The upside is, he has the same way usually of pointing out mistakes, and tends to be pretty gentle with the criticism.) But it's hard. I think some of the nervousness (and I still feel pretty nauseous before my lessons, and I really do otherwise think the world of my teacher and love piano!) - could come from this. I *think* that if you feel like your teacher is also noticing good things, and is telling you - "you did a really good job with this" or "you must have worked hard on this, even though you were nervous, you did improved this part alot" - or whatever - I don't know, it changes the dynamic a bit. I think that it can possibly help alleviate some of the feeling of "performing" and "being judged" that adds to the stress, which adds to more mistakes.

I don't know. Just my two cents.

And, my current teacher has been very supportive of my crazy nervousness and self-consciousness. He's told me that most great pianists feel that they're best performances are in the practice room alone, and that even he gets nervous, especially if he's playing in front of just one person and that person knows the music. We've also talked a bit about focus, and me trying to keep my mental focus on the music and not to let myself get distracted.

I'm not sure if you're referring to all students or just kids or adults.

I'm an adult student and I practice everday about 2 hours a day. Adults have so many inhibitions and yes we do get nervous and yes we do tend to play better at home.

I took lessons when I was a child not much just enough to go through one of JT little kiddy books, we didn't even have a piano but I remember going to lessons every week and getting through the book. I remember playing with other little girls waiting on a bench right behind me but what I remember best was "There was not an ounce of nervousness in me"

As an adult however it's different. My teacher is awesome and we have fun and we're very comfortable with each other but our initial first half hour is always a bit jittery for me, I get even more jittery when I do really well at home. Why? "Anticipation", I want to show her how well I'm doing, I set myself up for failure by thinking 'I hope I don't mess up I really want to show off" and guess what I usually bomb but somewhere along the line I do redeem myself.

I would give folks the benefit of the doubt. It's not an illusion.

You might want to access yourself as a teacher as well. It might be something you're doing (posture, attitude etc) that might be making your students so nervous that they collapse in your class. You say you have quite a few students you do that which is why I'm questioning you.

My teacher has 5 students, I'm the only adult and I'm up there with the ones who are prepared and she can always tell how much I practice and is really happy with me but I'm the only one who gets nervous as well.

As an adult learner who keeps mulling over the faint possibility of picking up teaching sometime in the distant future, I have been thinking about the questions presented in this thread.

It's not that "illusion" is the wrong word to be using in this context, it is that it has a negative connotation that is not assisting with identifying and resolving the causes behind "I played it better at home."

I would like to suggest that a better and more constuctive viewpoint is to approach this as a "perception" instead of an "illusion."

- It is the adult learner's "perception" that they need to "perform" (as in perform well) for their teacher that (psychologically at least) turns the lesson into a "performance" for many.

- It is the "perception" of the teacher (with all his or her senses) that leads to the conclusion that a particular student is not "playing it better at home."

- It is the lack of "perception" by the student (that is listening to the music they are making) that is making them think they "played it better at home."

- Finally add on lack of practice or poor practice habits along with the lack of listening and you have the typical "I played it better at home" student.

Quite frankly, I think that these are the most important things any teacher can teach their students once they have progressed past basic mechanics of learning to play. This is the core of:
- How to practice.
- How to listen to yourself playing.
- How to be critical of your playing and practicing.
- How to apply those concepts in the "Inner Game of Music" to relax and improve your playing. (especially for the adults learners)
- How to analyze and fix the problems revealed in those juicy mistakes that come up during practice and lessons.

Rich

I have a student that always says I played it better here than at home!

Do I say, "well that's good?"

I still think it a vacuous statement.

After all, it would be very easy for all of us to say, I played it better at home. With the exception of a few like the student mentioned above.


To Saerra,

I feel you are absolutely correct in saying that a good teacher always brings out the positive things first. You should have a teacher that makes you feel comfortable and are in a non-threatening environment, which is what I've always strived for.

Now it is up to you and others with this same issue, to let it go, it is not a performance, try not to feel you have to prove that you can play it just as well as you did ten-minutes ago. Try not to play this game with yourself. You won't win this way. The piece is what it is at the time that you play it. If you are well prepared (practiced correctly) and are not trying to prove something to your teacher (or yourself) and do not have unreal expectations of yourself this is when you will do your best at your lesson.

It takes work and time to be able to change your inner dialogue so that you can do this. But by all means saying, "I played it better at home" won't make it happen!

Listening skills, practice skills - let's assume these are are adequate to the level the student is at. I would like someone to address why many professionals use beta blockers for what I'm assuming is a similar reason. They can play to their capabilities and find it necessary to their careers. These professionals are presumably not harbouring illusions about their capabilities.

Fist of all, I don't think every performer takes beta-blockers in order to perform.

And the few that do, it is for a performance, not for a lesson.

And furthermore, I doubt they say, "I played it better at home" before going on stage

We've already discussed that the IPIBAH is a way of letting the teacher know that practice/preparation has occurred - not so much an excuse as an expression of frustration. I did not say every performer used beta blockers - I said many and I don't know the exact percentage but it is a significant number. My point is that they would like to play to their capabilities which is what many learners would also like to do so that they can progress and get the most out of a lesson.

Hi all,

Maybe the original poster teaches a lot of school-kids who really didn’t want to be there, and is just feeling frustrated about it? I don’t believe that any teacher could really be so dumb, or so inexperienced that they don’t understand that students are frequently quite correct in saying that they “played it better at home”. Errors due to nervous tension are so common, and so widely known about that it’s inconceivable that anybody could have traveled the road to becoming a teacher without observing it, and in all likelihood having experienced a version of it first hand in their own playing.

Surely, we all know it, and its close cousins “Dammit, I played that better yesterday!” and “Heck, I just nailed it two minutes ago – why did I stuff it up NOW!” They happen all the time, whether there’s a teacher or an audience there or not. “I played it better at home” does not mean “I’m now an expert”, it simply means “I CAN do better than this”. Most students are not under the “illusion” that they’re better than they are. They’re just trying to preserve a bit of dignity, and make the point that they have been doing some work and have made some progress. Only an insensitive teacher would fail to acknowledge that and make some tactful allowances. In my experience, most teachers do.


Regardless of the fact that we might tell ourselves that we’re not there to ‘perform’ for the teacher, there’s a perfectly normal wish to show them that we are improving. It’s also natural to feel frustrated that you just blew something that you felt you can usually do on demand. We’d all prefer to spend our lessons money on learning something new, not just going over the same old ground.

But that’s life… I know that one or two good renditions are not enough to prove to myself that I now have something fully nailed down. All I ask is that a teacher is diplomatic, sympathetic and not overly judgmental when they hand out the advice to keep working on a certain aspect. It really depends on how good a relationship you build with your teacher. I’ve been both teacher and student, many times, and the minimum standard that I hope for – on both sides – is being politely considerate of each other’s position. If that builds up to mutual respect (as it should) then there’s rarely a problem.

Cheers,

Chris

x

I agree if someone says: IPIBAH that doesn't mean: I played it _perfect_ at home. Most the times I'm perfectly aware if I can play a piece up to its standards or not. But no matter what state it is in and I perform below the level I _can_ play it for whatever reason I will inform my teacher I can play it better (at home). That doesn’t mean I want the piece of the practice list I just like her to know. Most of the times she already knows because you can tell from the way I start/play a piece (a bit slow and cautious or on tempo and with steady rhythm/dynamics).

And to the remark (that somebody did post) that teachers / pianist do have the same problems (bad days) isn't complete fair: when I started lessons and I had a bad day well the only right notes I did hit where by accident. Now on bad days I do much better (even though the pieces are more complicated!!). It's like learning to walk, when you are starting you fall a lot.. An adult on a bad day can trip as well, but due to experience you can recover and don't fall. You don't feel like an idiot because you trip (as you well know everybody does sometimes) but you feel good because you avoided a near ground collision by experience. An adult that relearns to walk (after an car-accident i.e.) has to overcome a lot of dignity. That is the difference between a bad day from a pianist and a bad day from a beginner adult learning student.

I don't concern myself anymore with this issue (it was quite frustrating in the beginning). I know I'm getting better because the songs I learn are getting better lets compare today with what I can do after 5 years from now!

It was probably me. I didn't mean to downplay your pain . I still think it is much the same thing, but there's a difference of degree, obviously. That is, what happens is much the same (you play something less well than you did when practising alone, and it's a bit disappointing), but maybe we've learned to not worry about it so much - as in fact you have, too. Admittedly, I haven't come totally unstuck recently in a performance, but I have had a few hairy moments . And recovering from mistakes is something that not only advanced pianists can do - I have a student who has only been learning for a short time and can play through mistakes when performing quite brilliantly! She just makes it up until she finds where she should be .

And the best performances are always the ones where I don't think of what *could* happen, but just try and play the *music*. I'd far rather hear an exciting performance with a few fluffs than a correct, but tame and cautious one. Any day.

Sorry, I still think it is an illusion.

For those of you that say it is not, record yourself playing a day before your lesson or the day of, before your lesson. Only one take mind you, just like at your lesson, and I will bet it will be the same level of performance.

Mistaya,

I know it isn't an excuse, I've already said this. I do know it is used as an expression of frustration. But why should you be frustrated?
When I don't think you played it any better at home. This is what I'm driving at. I would hope you would want to be in a position of being able to take a lesson and play a piece for what it is worth in front of your teacher and to take his/her comments and suggestions and learn by them.

Otherwise, why not just use a video or take piano lessons on-line.

Please, I do not mean to sound insensitive. I am well known among my students and parents for being gentle and nurturing. I'm just trying to convince you that you can change your way of thinking that will help you with your lessons and your playing.

Almost all the adult students who have chipped in tell us:

1) It's not an illusion. They often underperform in the lesson due to nervous tension.

2) Their teacher does not understand or doesn't believe them.

3) This is something abnormal and doesn't seem to happen to anyone else.

I know it is frustrating but I can assure you that nearly everyone feels nervous when playing in front of people. It is completely normal. When I say it doesn't matter to me as a teacher I don't mean that I don't care. I mean that I do understand but in all honesty it does not have any effect on what we will do in that lesson. I know which students feel more nervous, which are prone to mistakes as a result. I know who practices properly and who doesn't. I can tell if a poor performance is down to nerves or lack of effective practice. In either case the point of the lesson is to find ways to rectify the situation.

I must also say that I teach very few adults. I enjoy teaching adults but my schedule is full of children between the ages of 6-18. The ones who say IPIBAH are often teenagers who are making excuses. Teaching adults is very different.

sorry - changed my mind)