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#917719 - 12/13/05 05:42 AM student's music joke  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,597
sarabande Offline
1000 Post Club Member
sarabande  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,597
Mo.
One of my student's (5th grade) told me this music joke circulating in one of her classes:

If your "Handel's" not "Bach", it's "Baroque-n".

(if your handles not Bach it's broken) -

whatever the Bach part is

corny but cute! smile

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#917720 - 12/13/05 09:28 PM Re: student's music joke  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 205
PerformingYak Offline
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PerformingYak  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 205
Lightning Ridge, Australia
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?


A flat miner (minor)


"Work hard and strive to reach the power of bland"
#917721 - 12/20/05 04:34 PM Re: student's music joke  
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 500
LWpianistin Offline
500 Post Club Member
LWpianistin  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 500
VA/MD/England...long story...
well, out come all the corny music jokes:

What do you get when you drive a steamroller over an army officer?

A flat major


What do you call an army officer with his nose to the grind stone?

A sharp major

they could go on...


That's right...I have the same birthday as Mozart. If only it meant something and I could have one thousandth of his genius...in my dreams, i suppose.
#917722 - 12/20/05 04:43 PM Re: student's music joke  
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 398
pianocliff Offline
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pianocliff  Offline
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 398
Washington, DC Metro
oh, crap...i just can't help myself...you've prolly seen this one before...

Quote
C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't
serve minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between
them and after a few drinks, G is out flat. F comes in and tries to
augue the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar
and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a
second."

A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this
relative of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender
notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out
now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a
3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have
a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're
looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major
development." And in fact, E-flat takes off his suit and everything
else and stands there au naturel. Eventually, C, who had passed out
under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in
horror that he's under a rest.

So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of
a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale
correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal,
however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental,
and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so
patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become
alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.
~pianocliff

#917723 - 12/20/05 05:24 PM Re: student's music joke  
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 398
pianocliff Offline
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pianocliff  Offline
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 398
Washington, DC Metro
Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.

~pianocliff

#917724 - 01/07/06 04:18 AM Re: student's music joke  
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 95
Dsus2 Offline
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Dsus2  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 95
Sweden
LAUGH! I read the one with the bar and I thought "oh here are a lot more music references than just the notes themselves!". It was then after I finished reading the whole thing I realised that even the BAR itself... well, that was a great one!

#917725 - 01/07/06 07:18 PM Re: student's music joke  
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,921
-Frycek Offline
5000 Post Club Member
-Frycek  Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,921
SC Mountains
Quote
Originally posted by pianocliff:
Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.

~pianocliff
Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet. Forgot my Liszt.


Slow down and do it right.
[Linked Image]
#917726 - 01/08/06 01:41 AM Re: student's music joke  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 115
Shammy Offline
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Shammy  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 115
Nutter Fort, WV
What do you call a musician thats a fish?

A PIANO TUNA


...I asked my mother if I was a gifted child...she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
#917727 - 01/13/06 02:55 PM Re: student's music joke  
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,894
Piano*Dad Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
Piano*Dad  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,894
Williamsburg, VA
In what sort of rock formation can you find fossilized remains of the lowest forms of musical life?

At the bass of a clef.

badum ..chhhhh!

#917728 - 01/13/06 03:06 PM Re: student's music joke  
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 475
Hobie Offline
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Hobie  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 475
Rocky Mountains
What's the diffeence between a piano player and a Savings Bond?

The savings bond will eventually mature and earn some money!

How many piano players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, they hold onto the bulb and the entire world revolves around them.


"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." Groucho Marx
#917729 - 01/13/06 10:04 PM Re: student's music joke  
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,894
Piano*Dad Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
Piano*Dad  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,894
Williamsburg, VA
A fellow who just died appeared before the pearly gates wearing a white coat. With some trepidation, he approached the door. St. Peter fixed his gaze upon the man and asked, "how much did you earn last year."

The man tried desperately to remember something he once knew about the eye of a needle. With panic in his voice, he said he made $135,000. "I'm a pediatrician and I helped many children," he squeaked. The sweat was pouring out of him. The saint pointed to the door with his thumb and said, "Go on in."

As the doctor disappeared into the mist, another man appeared at the gate. St. Peter looked dolefully at the new arrival. "So, how much did you make last year?"

The man answered, "I'm a trial lawyer. I made millions for my clients and took home $450,000 last year."

"Alright," said the saintly gate warden, you may enter." The lawyer strode confidently into paradise.

Lastly, a somewhat disheveled man approached the entrance. His shoes were worn and his coat was threadbare. St. Peter regarded him for a while and then asked, "So, how much did YOU earn last year."

The man cleared his throat and said, "well, I think I made around $12,000 last year."

The saint chuckled. "What instrument did you play?"

#917730 - 01/18/06 03:50 PM Re: student's music joke  
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 361
pianojazz Offline
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pianojazz  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 361
dearborn, mi
Three musicians die and go before St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter asks the first one: "What kind of musician were you?" and he answers: "I was a classical musician - I brought the works of the great masters to life and delighted many audiences around the world." St. Peter says: "OK. You can enter heaven.” Then he asks the second what kind of musician he was, to which he answers: "I was a jazz musician - I never made much money but I delighted many listeners with my improvisations and unique interpretations of many forms of music.” St. Peter says: "OK. You can enter heaven." Then he asks the third musician what kind of musician he was, to which he answers: “I was a jobbing musician – I played at weddings, barmitzvas, cocktail parties, graduations, birthdays, and bridal showers – I helped people celebrate the happiest times of their lives.” St. Peter thinks for a moment then says: “OK you can come in too – but you’ll have to go around to the side and come through the kitchen entrance.”


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