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#917459 - 05/08/08 09:40 PM Re: Tell a joke...(stupid one preferrably) Come on guys - hit it!  
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 526
JeanieA Offline
500 Post Club Member
JeanieA  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 526
Reno, Nevada
A man calls his doctor and explains that he's having a terrible gas problem. But's that's not the worst of it; whenever he has an 'attack,' it's not the normal sound; the man says that the explosion sounds like 'RONDA!'

The doctor says, "Oh, that's easy. Make an appointment with your dentist. You have an abcessed tooth." The man says, "You haven't even seen me! How can you be so sure you know what the problem is?"

The doctor replies: "Well, sir, I'm sure because everybody knows that abcess makes the f@rt go RONDA!"


Collector of sheet music I can't play.
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#917460 - 05/09/08 05:02 AM Re: Tell a joke...(stupid one preferrably) Come on guys - hit it!  
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 213
Jamie147 Offline
Full Member
Jamie147  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 213
England, UK
What do you call a Tennis player that talks to cakes?

Martina Natters-to-pavlovas


We are the melodies and the notes of your opus. We are the music of your life.
#917461 - 05/09/08 10:23 AM Re: Tell a joke...(stupid one preferrably) Come on guys - hit it!  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 113
melissa d Offline
Full Member
melissa d  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 113
Cibolo, Texas
Why did grandma put roller skates on her rocker?

She wanted to rock and roll.


My blog such as it is http://melissasjourneys.blogspot.com
#917462 - 05/09/08 03:49 PM Re: Tell a joke...(stupid one preferrably) Come on guys - hit it!  
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 397
junmer Offline
Full Member
junmer  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 397
United Arab Emirates
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."

JUNMER


JUNMER
Piano tuner / Piano teacher
Dubai
United Arab Emirates
0097150-6543009
0097155-6543009
#917463 - 05/12/08 09:16 PM Re: Tell a joke...(stupid one preferrably) Come on guys - hit it!  
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 353
bplary1300 Offline
Full Member
bplary1300  Offline
Full Member

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 353
Maine
Why did the scarecrow win the award? He was outstanding in his field.

Did you hear about the man who lost his left side? Hes alright now.



#917464 - 05/12/08 09:33 PM Re: Tell a joke...(stupid one preferrably) Come on guys - hit it!  
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 476
FormerFF Offline
Full Member
FormerFF  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 476
Roswell, GA, USA
Much funnier if you read this imagining a Minnesota-Swedish accent.

Two Minnesota farmers are talking:

Sven: "Hey, Ole, how's it going?"
Ole: "Oh, not so good."
Sven: "What's the problem?"
Ole: "My old boar has died and my sows have all come into season."
Sven: "That's no problem, just load them up into the truck and bring them over. I've got a boar that can service them. Then the next day, if it took, they'll be rolling in the mud, and if it didn't, they'll be laying in the sun."

So, Ole took his sows over to Sven's farm. The next day, Sven calls Ole.

Sven: "So, do you think it took?"
Ole: "They're laying in the sun, so I suppose it didn't."
Sven: "OK, then, bring them by again today."

So, Ole did. The next day, Sven calls him back.
Sven: "Do you think it took this time?"
Ole: "I don't know."
Sven: "Are they rolling in the mud or laying in the sun?'
Ole: "They're not doing either"
Sven: "Well, what are they doing?"
Ole: "They've gotten into the truck and one of them is blowing the horn!"


Piano self teaching on and off from 2002-2008. Took piano instruction from Nov 2008- Feb 2011. Took guitar instruction Feb 2011-Jul 2013. Can't play either. Living, breathing proof some people aren't cut out to make music.
#917465 - 05/12/08 09:54 PM Re: Tell a joke...(stupid one preferrably) Come on guys - hit it!  
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,539
David Jenson Offline
2000 Post Club Member
David Jenson  Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,539
Maine
A farmer friend of mine spent a good part of each afternoon holding his favorite pig up so that the pampered animal could eat apples right off the tree. Day after day the same thing happened.

Finally I couldn't take it any longer. "Jeff," I said. "Don't you see what a waste of time that is?"

"I've though about it," he said, "but really when you think about it, what's time to a pig?"


David L. Jenson
Tuning - Repairs - Refurbishing
Jenson's Piano Service
-----
#917466 - 05/19/08 12:23 AM Re: Tell a joke...(stupid one preferrably) Come on guys - hit it!  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 959
Ferdinand Offline
500 Post Club Member
Ferdinand  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 959
California
A man walks into the kitchen for a midnight snack. He opens the refrigerator, and there in the vegetable crisper he sees a rabbit, peacefully dozing.

Man: Say, what are you doing here?
Rabbit: What is this place?
Man: It's a refrigerator.
Rabbit: What kind is it?
Man: It's a Westinghouse.
Rabbit: Well, I'm westing.

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