Piano World Home Page Forums Restricted and Archives The Coffee Room kill me... kill me now

This is one of those times I wish I had NAK's overdose picture.

I've been depressed for some unknown reason. So much so that I've been listening to all 4 Chopin Ballades over and over and have been eating Lucky Charms cereal PROFUSELY!!!

I have a theory as to why I'm like this. Should I just tell her how I feel about her? It's different this time than with other girls... I've been her friend for a while talking at night all the time, and I can talk to her fine when I see her... only problem is that she is the best friend to a girl I used to like but, after certain circumstances, have now become MORTAL enemies.

Or should I just keep on persisting with this minor depression?

I trust you all here... and being trusted makes you trustworthy.

Honesty is always the best policy. Find the right moment and TELL HER! You'll do great!!

Joe, there's never any harm in telling someone how you feel about her or him. Maybe she doesn't feel the same, but at least you'll find out rather than agonize in uncertainty. And that's WORST case scenario. Every other scenario comes out better for both of you!

Your emotions are exaggerated. You need to grow up and realize that social interactions are simpler than you believe it is.

While you are complicating things, you can't help it. It's biochemical and you will suffer. Pining will increase your suffering and confrontation could be a cure one way or the other. Do you have the courage?

Heck yeah I need to grow up!

Trust me, that isn't the first time I've heard that. BUT to a 16 year old where everything in your life is evaluated/controlled by another person with no chance of self employment, and a whole reputation can be destroyed by one bad act, I think that social interactions at my age are easier thought of then done.

I had the courage with her best friend... I rushed in full of glory and was accepted by the people (and her for a little bit) only to get knocked down. It was a good lesson though.

It isn't good to speak on topics you don't know anything about, Yahoo... in this case.... social skills.......

I have a theory as to why I'm like this. Should I just tell her how I feel about her? It's different this time than with other girls... I've been her friend for a while talking at night all the time, and I can talk to her fine when I see her... only problem is that she is the best friend to a girl I used to like but, after certain circumstances, have now become MORTAL enemies.

Ah, love.......

You have to always remember that the kind of guy a woman is attracted to can change, depending on their moods. For instance, if she is between "cycles" she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is "in a cycle", or menopausal, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his neck and a bat jammed up his *** while he is on fire.

These are the kinds of things you must always keep in mind, Joseph. Learn. Learn from experience.......

oh i sure learned from my last experience... oh GOD did I learn....

Getting rejected sux.
But loneliness sux more.

Go for it.
Maybe . . .

I think you should start off easy and slowly. It would be a bit awkward if you just suddenly told her that you like her :p

Instead, how about some flirting first? Not girly girl flirting, but manly, cocky (but funny) and handsome flirting. Act like you are expressing interest in her, but not obsessively. Try and do things which would make her ask herself, "My gosh - does he really like me? He keeps doing things that shows he likes me, and other things that shows the opposite". It drives them nuts, which is essence, a good thing :p . Hopefully this will gain some attraction. If for some reason you can't do any of these, how about organize some time where you guys are just alone? Like plan on going to class together, walking around for lunch, and start talking to her on some interesting topics (no politics or smart *** stuff :p ). Get to know her, make her laugh, and who knows, by the end of the day your karma will be raised by 1 point :p

Most importantly, be yourself. I know it's hard, but it's something which will help you if you work on it sooner than later. Just be yourself and you won't overstress on what to think/say to impress her. I myself still have trouble with this. What I realized is that the girls which I really like(d) are not really close friends of mine. It's not that I didn't attempt, it's that I acted outside of my personality which pretty much screwed things up. I guess I lost all my humor and charm in the process. Those girls who I like (but only as good friends) are those who I'm really close to. I don't think of them as a companion, but a good friend to be special too. I just be myself whenever I'm with them and it works out great.

And lastly, try not to be depressed. I figured that people get really depressed because they think of things that are driving themselves low. How about think of things that are driving you high, and keeping you alive? Family? Close friends? Your skills and abilities? Also, think about your future. Girls aren't important. There are probably, what, 3.5-4 billion women in the world right now? There are many possibilities out there, don't close the door - just yet.

Joseph,

My suggestion. Go for it. If you win...you win. If she says get lost, then good thing you found out so quickly and didn't have to waste your life. Dude, there are a lot of fish in the sea. Think about it.

I certainly wish you the best.

David

Thank you Mr. Spock. Now, please, get a clue.

People like being the object of peoples' affections. Don't stalk her...tell her how you feel and prepare for the worst. You won't be dissappointed. Yapper says to grow up. The rest of us have been where you are and have fond memories of recipricated affection. You have nothing to lose here..

Oh yes, definitely!!! If you get it then great, even if you dont, at least you know that it werent meant to be instead of going round and round and pondering on the thought. If you're rejected, its NOT a bad thing either, take it as a a relief for your mind. I believe youd not feel so down anymore after telling her (win or not)
If you dont tell her, youd never get her..
Who cares about the mortal enemy? sometimes you just cannot be concerned over everything. Especially things like that...
OH, to be loved...! how nice.
And also, who doesnt like pianist boy? (hmp.. i dont know, classicab pianist just get more credit in this area for me)
Put down the cereals and go date her now! Theres no reason why you should keep it to yourself, really. Even if she doesnt have the same sentiments, i bet she'd be very honoured by your feelings.
Go. Go. Go.

You know what always made like a guy when I was 16...? Answer: when one of my friends expressed an interest in him first! Really. If there was anyone else who thought a guy was cute, it always prompted me to take a second look.

How does this help you? I don't really know. I don't think it would be a good idea to play games (e.g., start flirting with another girl to catch your girl's attention)...

Here's the thing: You seem to be a good guy. From what I can tell, you are intelligent, funny, and talented. And, from reading other posts you've written, you also appear to be pretty darn self-aware and intuitive for a 16-year-old!

I say, trust your instincts. Does she seem to be "into" you? How does she act around you? Do you ever get the "friend" vibe from her--you know, she says things like, "Gosh, you are such a good friend, Joey."

She will give subtle signs one way or the other. Does she laugh at your jokes? Does she just happen to be around the places you usually hang out? Do her friends smile knowingly at you when you pass by them? After giving her a subtle sign yourself, does she seem to respond positively, or does she try to deflect and change the topic?

Keep in mind that she could be confused, too, and very unsure of what to do herself.

Hang in there, Joseph! All this relationship "stuff" will get easier. (Though, be forewarned that it will likely get more challenging before it gets easier!)

Joseph ... Don't rush growing up ... Being a teenager - It's a process ya know & can be a really good stage in your life ... The thinkings/feelings you examine now & the decisions you make will help prepare you for experiencing life as an adult in the future ... Yet nothing is so finite or critical ... We all continue to change & grow as humans. It's all about learning about yourself & learning to interact with others. Remember too your friends and classmates are going through similar stuff too ... We all did ... We survived. So will you.

The people here have offered good advice (excepting Yhabpo of course & as usual :rolleyes: .... ).

You'll do fine ... don't be so down on yourself. Good choice with the music & comfort food I'll add

Did you ?

There are no lessons to learn...

I miss and long for those anxieties. depressions... those girls.... Never learned the lesson... Practice, practice, practice....