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…sometimes…

…yes, I agree, especially confidence…

very interesting, could you perhaps share a link to one of these studies?

ehm…NOT attractive.

Jolly’s got a lot of it down too…we’re of course speaking about what attracts a man to a woman.

1. A woman who is a woman. The best I’ve ever seen or known in this regard usually come from France. One of them told me that from a very early age they are taught that the most important thing is to be beautiful. The rest follows. This doesn’t imply any cliché about how one is supposed to look. It’s a matter of how one must be. The sense of it is that they are confident about themselves, know just what to do and have a sense of ease about them that puts everyone else at ease.

2. Verbatim: “I like a woman who acts like a lady. There are too many toilet-mouthed female pinnacles of vapidity, with vulgar demeanor, and small souls.”

I like the portrait of the bubble headed nincompoop you’ve drawn pretty well, emphasis on small soul. The French call it having a small nature.

There are ladies, real ones, and there are trollops and there are tarts. But what does one call a woman who is overbearing, says embarrassing things in public (not that men are so much better after all) and in every way insists on being treated very special but who is in fact out of her league and hasn’t a clue? Met any of these?

I’ll take a good woman over a fake lady any day.

3. A woman who likes men, not a woman who likes men to use men. I’ve seen a few of them. None for me thanks.

4. “A lady in the parlor, and a whore in the bedroom,” and in either case she likes the roles equally well.

…then there’s the combination of physical beauty (not defined), brains (it depends, anything but an academic!) and talent (the rarest quality of all).

Genuine talent is stunningly attractive, can be so attractive that its scary!

And it could be almost anything.

Genuine talent is what one can do so well that it’s as if they were given a divine gift.

Justme had some interesting takes on what makes an attractive man:
“I like a man who can be romantic without getting mushy.” I like the same in a woman too.

“I like a man who can take control but is not controlling.” I think I have better words for you here; who can take COMMAND but is not controlling. I can’t stand a controlling person of any kind. I will either violently tell them where they can get off or I’ll run like heck.

“I like a man that knows a lot but doesn't necessarily know it all.” I have nothing to prove to anyone. If I come off as a know it all, I publicly apologize. The longer I’ve lived, the more I’ve read, it seems the less I know for sure.

“I like a man who is confident.” Yes, so what on earth do we do with all those people out there who have no confidence or low self esteem?

“I like a man who likes to have fun and is able to laugh.”

“I like a man that doesn't sweat the small stuff.” Hey, sometimes I don’t sweat the large stuff.

“I'd like a man who accepts me for who I am and doesn't feel they need to make me over.” So far, no woman has DARED to do that to me, but I’ve seen it tried elsewhere. Usually the guy puts up with it as long as he’s getting laid.

“I like a man who is comfortable downtown, out in the country, and up in the hills.” Self confidence again, is always attractive.

“I like a man who likes food.” Hummmm… most men who like food end up being FAT!

About being attracted to women who resemble our mothers: my mother was in her day a very attractive woman and at 76 is still in pretty good shape, looks maybe 61. So maybe my standards are higher than most. I never thought about it that way til just now. Oh and my mom is very self confident.

I tend to like women who never ask permission, they just do whatever they’re going to do.

And someone finally mentioned HAPPINESS, or at least just being happy, not silly, happy. Silliness can be a pain, happiness is always a joy.

Justme suggests, “There's nothing wrong and everything right with two people trying to stay physically attractive for one another. IMHO.” Yeah, but you know try as some might, some people, for whatever genetic reasons, just can’t. The remedy to this is of course staying attractive for one another in a greater variety of ways so that the physical attraction is magnified often beyond its natural capacity.

Jack has shown us Gisele. Admittedly she is a good looking woman, maybe even a pretty woman. But as soon as you mention Leonardo DiCaprio, well one is attractive based on association too. There are dozens and dozens of Giseles out there.

I have a toss up question for everyone on this thread: what attributes do you have that might be attractive to someone else?

This should be interesting.

The question is self answering and exclusive -- either you are or you aren't attracted to someone (in which case they are or are not "attractive to you"), and someone else either is or is not attracted to you (in which case you are or are not
"attractive to them").

Unfortunately, we get these things so distorted by the media -- who "sell" us on particular looks when in truth the Hollywood stars and Cosmo cover girls are so plasticized and layered with make up and groomed by personal trainers etc -- they could probably even make "me" look good!

attractive = my husband. sexiest man alive in my opinion. why? i have no idea. all i know is my knees still go weak and the room still spins when he enters it. it's chemical, no doubt.

what is attractive about me? my husband is the expert on that. he says: my integrity, my brains, my generosity, my resourcefulness, my talent, my beauty, and the fact that i am a hottie.

obviously, we are well-matched. and i am very grateful that i don't have to be concerned with whether anyone else would agree with him.

My perspective on this is that there must be lust in the relationship. "I wanna tear your clothes off with my teeth" lust. This can come from pure physical hotness. Or lust can be the result of other components, like the talent thing for you, or the pheremone/immune system thing, or whatever. But I have definitely felt lust for women who's physical constituency was not what I would consider fetching. Also, I have been in lustless relationships, but never again. It doesnt work. Its boring, you're thinking about someone else during quality time, you're eye is wandering on the street, fantasizing of others, etc.

edit:oh, as for the immune system/sniffing study, I saw it on NOVA or Discovery or soemthing about a year ago. So, no I dont have links. The episode was called "Science of Attraction" or something like that. Or maybe it was a series of episodes under that title.

When I was in high school I discovered this terrible habit of trying to hide many of my true characteristics, and that's when I realized that that Im most attracted to girls who I feel that I don't have to hide a thing around.

An example of a time in high school when this happened: I was sitting in the hallway on a spare reading a book, when a very (or at least I considered her this back then) "attractive" girl walked around the corner and I hid the book, stood up, and pretended that I was getting something out of my locker. When at that moment I realized "why would I ever want to be with a girl who doesn't accept me for who I am?" where I then took out my book, sat back down, and started reading. And then when she walked by she pretended to ignore me, and since that day I have never found those types of girls attracting again?

What's attractive? In one word. Talent.

P.S. Running a very close second to my partner is this man.
No 6 has all the qualities in a person I find attractive - and aspire to aswell.

I'm uncontrollably attracted to hobbit women -- sans hairy feet. Hollywood can keep it's tall slender girls.

I certainly agree with him. And you really are a hottie.


pique,

Chloroform, perhaps?

Paranoia, crankiness, and a tendency to lash out at authority?


David

Somewhere around the age of 15 or so, I happened to notice that Puerto Rican girls were, well... HOT! When I got older I ended up dating a few, then marrying one. (Next week is the 20th anniversary of the day we met!)

Along the way I discovered classical music, and few images fit the bill of the Byronic Romantic character more than a concert pianist.

So, now strictly in the hypothetical sense, because I am very happily married and desperately lost without my wife, I would have to say that the perfectly attractive woman to me would be a Female Puerto Rican Concert Pianist.

But where would I ever find one?

Brilliant, Chris.

Thanks Tom. Every once in a while I write a post, if not exclusively for your enjoyment, at least I am well aware that you WILL enjoy it. This case was the latter.

Hi Chris:

When in high school and college I had subsequent massive crushes on two sisters who are the great nieces of the great Puerto Rican pianist Jesus Maria Sanroma-- they are friends of my family(FYI).

Steve

For me, in order to find someone really attractive, they have to be:

Intelligent
Witty
Creative
Passionate
Ambitious, but not look at work as the only thing

More specifically, I want to be treated like I am important, loved, desired and needed - and they have to be willing to be treated the same way.

Very specifically - I like dorks. Star Wars, computers, interest in bizarre hobbies, Monty Python. I'm a total dork myself, and I need to be with someone who will get my silly references to Kevin Smith movies and my odd habit of pretending to open automatic doors using "the force".

I also don't think I can be really attracted to someone who isn't interested in music, the arts in general, as well as history and politics.

Physically, I'm not all that picky. Fit, but not overly muscular, and I don't tend to go for the "tall dark and handsome" thing. My current "famous people" obsession is Joshua Malina - who is far from most people's "ideal", but that's what I like.

Yep. Total dork here. And apparently a picky dork. But I know what I like.

Of course there is more to it than this, but ..

Musicians are sexy. If they are able to share the same fire, passion, and intensity of their art with relationships, it is unbearably attractive.

Nothing is hotter than a 'cellist who really knows his instrument *giggle*

Further to that, I don't think I could ever date someone who played my instrument.

You have to admit--(TomK turns and faces the Piano Forum)--no matter if they know me or not--the babes on the Furum are seeing that MY attributes are those of the "Perfect Man."