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Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823527
04/15/05 07:31 PM
04/15/05 07:31 PM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 9,868
pianojerome Offline OP
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Quote
Originally posted by katie:
I suppose people of different faiths could simply live together and not marry .... or is this opening another can of worms?
I don't see as much of a problem with that, although, if my own family were involved, it would probably trouble me.


Sam
Piano & Music Accessories
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823528
04/15/05 07:32 PM
04/15/05 07:32 PM
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Posts: 3,789
Plainfield, IL
Matt G. Offline
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Sam, Armenian girls are NOT to be taken lightly. They are a force of nature itself. (Speaking from personal experience.) wink


Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Clemens
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823529
04/15/05 07:33 PM
04/15/05 07:33 PM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,244
Cleveland, Ohio
Siddhartha Offline
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Quote
Originally posted by Matt G.:
Sam, Armenian girls are NOT to be taken lightly.
Just so long as they're to be taken. smile


I was born the year Glenn Gould stop playing concerts. Coincidence?
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823530
04/15/05 07:36 PM
04/15/05 07:36 PM
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Posts: 9,868
pianojerome Offline OP
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LOL.

Actually, I think he's finally come to his senses and decided to date a nice Jewish girl. But I don't know how long that will last (I hope it does).

The relationship with this Armenian girl didn't work out at all. He's tried to remain friends with her, but she's not being very nice to him at all. The wierd thing is, she still thinks they're friends, and doesn't understand why he seems to be avoiding her. But whenever they talk, it always ends in my brother walking away from her vulgar insults.


Sam
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823531
04/15/05 07:40 PM
04/15/05 07:40 PM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,789
Plainfield, IL
Matt G. Offline
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Sam, just so you know, I've known plenty of nice Jewish girls who were just as capable of the same kind of ugly pettiness. It's a personality trait, not a religious issue.


Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Clemens
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823532
04/15/05 07:42 PM
04/15/05 07:42 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 9,798
Oklahoma City
JBryan Offline
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I don't think I even need to respond to this one.


Better to light one small candle than to curse the %&#$@#! darkness. :t:
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823533
04/15/05 07:43 PM
04/15/05 07:43 PM
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Posts: 9,868
pianojerome Offline OP
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Heh, believe me, I'm surrounded in my community by unpleasant Jewish girls.

That last comment was not any support of the original subject of this thread, but simply a response to your comment about Armenian women not to be taken lightly. wink

Anybody else have opinions on the issues of interdating/intermarriage?
(That tangent really got out of hand)


Sam
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823534
04/15/05 08:00 PM
04/15/05 08:00 PM
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 2,948
New York
Jeffrey Offline
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New York
piano - Why is it important to you for your brothers to marry only a Jew? Seems quite ethno-centric to me.

Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823535
04/15/05 08:03 PM
04/15/05 08:03 PM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,454
Maine
Jack Frost Offline
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Quote
Originally posted by JBryan:
I don't think I even need to respond to this one.
Amen.

jf


"Make the pie higher." GWB
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823536
04/15/05 08:11 PM
04/15/05 08:11 PM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 9,868
pianojerome Offline OP
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This may only be my own opinion, but I think that religion is actually very important. Not only in what one person believes, but in the way that religion creates a whole culture and way of life for people.

I don't consider myself ethno-centric at all, and I appologize to anyone - especially to Jack and JBryan - if I have offensively or non given this impression. It is very important to live and have relationships with people of all different cultures and faiths - just look at what we are all doing here in these wonderful forums!

But how do two people run a household together? A lot of what goes in the home, or at least a lot of what has gone on in my home, is very cultural. It would seem to me, while interesting, quite difficult and unfortunate to try and completely blend to cultures, or to completely isolate two cultures, within one household. Every culture has family traditions, and they don't always blend so well. The foods, the language, the humor, the traditions, the holidays, the expectations...

But that does not mean I am ethno-centric... unless you want to call me that, which is fine. I suppose my views could be interpreted that way to an extent...

WOW! This thread has unfortunately or fortunately turned out very differently than I had hoped and expected. I thought this would be a very good topic to discuss. I thought that people would be interested to get involved and learn and discuss such an important issue in today's society. Unfortunately, already two people have decided to publicly anounce that they won't become involved.

Too bad. *sigh*


Sam
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823537
04/15/05 08:17 PM
04/15/05 08:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 19,862
Kansas
apple* Offline
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Kansas
religion defines how one conducts himself, makes decisions, prioritizes, etc... if a couple is automatically in sync by sharing a belief.. they are more likely to have compatible goats.

I know many couples who do not share the same backgrounds and their marriages are wonderful too..

who knows


accompanist/organist.. a non-MTNA teacher to a few

love and peace, ├Ľun (apple in Estonian)
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823538
04/15/05 08:18 PM
04/15/05 08:18 PM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,838
Canada
katie_dup1 Offline
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Canada
Quote
Originally posted by apple*:
.... compatible goats.
A very important element in a marriage apple wink

Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823539
04/15/05 08:19 PM
04/15/05 08:19 PM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 6,416
Washington D.C. Metro
Cindysphinx Offline
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Quote
But how do two people run a household together? A lot of what goes in the home, or at least a lot of what has gone on in my home, is very cultural. It would seem to me, while interesting, quite difficult and unfortunate to try and completely blend to cultures, or to completely isolate two cultures, within one household. Every culture has family traditions, and they don't always blend so well. The foods, the language, the humor, the traditions, the holidays, the expectations...
It's not difficult to blend two cultures when you have two open-minded people. You're right that if both people have a "my way or the highway" attitude, the cross-cultural marriage won't work.

Then again, I don't know that many "my way or the highway" marriage last long anyway, regardless of the similarity of the cultures of the spouses.

Some find that being exposed to a new culture expands their horizons and is a new and exciting thing to explore.

Even in their own kitchen!

It may not be the choice you'd make, and that's fine. I hope your disapproval of any non-Jewish woman your brother might choose is something you'll be able to hide.

Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823540
04/15/05 08:19 PM
04/15/05 08:19 PM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,789
Plainfield, IL
Matt G. Offline
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Plainfield, IL
Sam, Jack agreed that JBryan doesn't need to respond. And JBryan doesn't need to respond because he's living it.

What is your take on what I stated before about raising children in a mixed-religion household?


Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Clemens
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823541
04/15/05 08:26 PM
04/15/05 08:26 PM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 9,868
pianojerome Offline OP
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Gosh, I probably sound like a monster don't I!

It would not be the end of the world for me if my family intermarried. I would be very upset, and I would prefer that they keep in the faith, but I am also very accepting. If it were to come to that - intermarriage - I would only wish them the best. I would still keep close, and I would never want anything bad to come between us. If she's nice, and wise, and good, and __________, then I will be happy for them.

My aunt married out of the faith, and as you could probably imagine, my aunt's very religious grandmother was not pleased. But the grandmother was forgiving, and she explained with the following story:

There once was a rabbi who was single. All of the women in town were constantly teasing him to get married. One day, the rabbi went on a trip, and when he came back, he returned with a wife. All of the women in town were overjoyed - until they found out that the wife was not Jewish.

They were understandably very upset. The rabbi, marrying a non-Jew... But they began to get to know the young wife. They soon realized that she was a kind, loving young woman. They all became friends with her. They soon realized that she would be a very wonderful addition to their community.

So what's the point? Of course, the dissappointment understandably exists. But at some point, all we really wish for our family, and our friends, and ourselves, is happiness and good health and prosperity... I think that's understandable, yes?


Sam
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823542
04/15/05 08:29 PM
04/15/05 08:29 PM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 9,868
pianojerome Offline OP
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Quote
Originally posted by Matt G.:
What is your take on what I stated before about raising children in a mixed-religion household?
Imagine the confusion among the children!

"Jesus was the messiah."
"Jesus was not the messiah."

"Celebrate the Jewish holidays."
"Don't celebrate the Jewish holidays."

"Jesus died for our sins."
"Jesus died because he was causing riots."

"There is original sin."
"There is not original sin."

"Follow the Jewish dietary laws."
"Would you pass the ham?"

...


Sam
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823543
04/15/05 08:32 PM
04/15/05 08:32 PM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,454
Maine
Jack Frost Offline
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Maine
Quote
Originally posted by apple*:
they are more likely to have compatible goats.
I think everyone should have goats...compatible or no. Great cheese.

jf


"Make the pie higher." GWB
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823544
04/15/05 08:34 PM
04/15/05 08:34 PM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 6,467
Phoenix, AZ
Nina Offline
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Nope, either goats or cheese. Both isn't kosher.

Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823545
04/15/05 08:37 PM
04/15/05 08:37 PM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,454
Maine
Jack Frost Offline
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Maine
The thread started with a request for your opinion. It's one thig to have a firm criterion for yourself. Each of us is obviously free to use whatever criteria are important in making our own nest. There is no right or wrong there.

Does anyone truly believe there is anything wrong with an interracial or interfaith marriage? Objectively?

we assume of course the particioants are in love and have thought through their own feelings on these issues.

jf


"Make the pie higher." GWB
Re: Intermarriage & Interdating #823546
04/15/05 08:38 PM
04/15/05 08:38 PM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 3,789
Plainfield, IL
Matt G. Offline
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Matt G.  Offline
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Plainfield, IL
Quote
Originally posted by pianojerome:
Quote
Originally posted by Matt G.:
[b] What is your take on what I stated before about raising children in a mixed-religion household?
Imagine the confusion among the children!

"Jesus was the messiah."
"Jesus was not the messiah."

"Celebrate the Jewish holidays."
"Don't celebrate the Jewish holidays."

"Jesus died for our sins."
"Jesus died because he was causing riots."

"There is original sin."
"There is not original sin."

"Follow the Jewish dietary laws."
"Would you pass the ham?"

... [/b]
If this is your response, then you certainly did not read what I posted. Try again.


Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Clemens
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