Piano World Home Page Forums Restricted and Archives The Coffee Room A *really* weighty world problem, not the trivial stuff we've talked about so far....

After reading all the discussion of all these world problems, the politics and religious issues, I decided it was time to throw caution to the wind and bring up one of the most significant problems facing mankind today......

Marshmallow Circus Peanuts.

You can't find them just anywhere. It's like there's a shortage of them or something. Oh, I know you can buy the little 99 cent packs at 7/11's all over the place that have about 5 in the pack, but that's just a sample. I'm talking about the big old one pounder bags......the "man sized" packs.

Sometimes you can find them at the grocer's, but sometimes you can't. There's no consistancy in supply at *all*...... I can only assume there's a conspiracy connected somehow. I just haven't been able to figure it out yet.

And when you do find them, they're all soft and fresh, which lets me know they just made them. Combine that with the supply shortage and it's easy to see that some evil corporation is trying to artificially increase demand by holding back on production. Most likely, the employees are only getting to work on a part time basis as a result. We cannot allow this to continue.

And everyone knows that a marshmallow Circus Peanut should only be eaten stale. You can't eat them when they're all soft like that. This further aggravates the supply problem, since you have to open the bag and let it sit on the counter for a week before they get stale enough to eat.

I think the UN should check into this matter. America should have a consistent supply of Circus Peanuts, so that one can keep enough on hand to always have some to eat while another batch is sitting there on the counter aging. In fact, in this age of modern miracles, they should offer them two ways - soft and fresh for those who do not know the proper way to eat a Circus Peanut, and "pre-seasoned" for those of us sophisticated enough in our tastes to know when the proper state of staleness exists. Sort of a "seasoned for destination" thing.

The best ones can be found occasionally at Kmart. They usually are properly seasoned to nearly the correct level of staleness already, and usually mashed a bit flat which further enhances the flavor. But even that supply is beginning to dry up somewhat, because of Kmart's financial problems as a result of those greedy CEO's ruining the company.

So please write your congressman and tell him of the outrageous situation that exists in the supply of Marshmallow Circus Peanuts. America can no longer abide such cruel shortages. I'll bet they have more supply up North than they do down South too.

It's a conspiracy I tell you. And we *must* get to the bottom of it.

What the heck are Marshmallow Circus Peanuts?

Derick

Larry,

What on earth are you trying to do! I never thought that even you could bring up something as sensitive as Marshmallow Circus Peanuts. I can see the mother of all p***ing contests dead ahead and its all your fault. Matter of fact, I think I see George headed this way with a soapbox under one arm. There's no telling what gloom and doom scenario he can extrapolate from Marshmallow Circus Peanuts. :p

BTW, what are Marshmallow Circus Peanuts.

Derick, you have truly missed a turning point during childhood - the discovery of marshmallow circus peanuts. I remember both yellow and a pinky-orange variety.

The fastest way to a sugar OD!

You don't know what a Marshmallow Circus Peanut is?.....and you call yourself an AMERICAN?????

Well, I am DEFINITELY with Derick on this one. ??? Jodi

Found a link... http://www.spanglercandy.com/spangler/Products/circuspeanuts.htm

And lo and behold, I know exactly what you are talking about. I saw some in Walmart just the other day. I haven't seen them in ages. The funny thing is, one look at the package, and I could taste 'em. Let me repeat - EEEEEWWWWWW.

Jodi

I'm a communist remember? I have absolutely no idea what they are.

Are they better with beer or moonshine?

Derick

Now I know what your're talking about and yes, they are great with moonshine or, in your case Derick, vodka.

Oh, and if you check that link, there is a recipe for these things in JELLO. Double EEEEEWWWWWW. Must be a southern thing. Jodi

I'm with Jodi on this one . And just like her, I can taste them just by looking at them on the screen. EEEEEWWWWWW!

If you can't find them at 7-11 or Walmart, check out Piggly-Wiggly. They have everything.

Derick

You know what I miss? Pixie sticks. Remember them? Those straws filled with flavored powder. I've seen them recently but now they come in tubes that are 2' long and 3 inches in diameter. If I got the courage to buy one, I wouldn't make it out of the store before swallowing and inhaling the whole thing. I have no shame. I'd do it right there in front of all the K-mart shoppers.

Derick

mmmmmy pixie stixs....

Would that be before or after the moonshine.

After the beer but before the moonshine.

Derick

Sounds perfectly okay to me.

Actually to ingest the peanuts properly, one must follow them with a quaff of RC cola or at the very least by a NEHI bellywasher. And yes, they are found at the Piggly-Wiggly.

Speaking of Southern beverages....

One of my neighbors has planted about a five acre pea patch. He had some left-over seed that he thought I might want for my food plots (yes Larry, Bambi is delicious). When I drove up to the house, his wife informed me he was in the shop, so I sauntered that-a-way.

Lo and behold, just inside the door I spied an aluminum beer keg with a copper coil running out the top of the keg and disappearing into a plastic drum of water before appearing on the other side.

I looked at him and said "Is this what I think it is?"

"Yep", he replied. "And legal, too. Uncle Sam lets me make so many gallons a year for personal use."

"So why the 2 liter 7-up jugs?", I asked. For those of you with no acquaintence of boot-legging, 7-up or Sprite bottles make an innocent looking way of transporting "shine".

"A man's gotta pay for his corn and butane", he replied.

So folks, whilst shopping at the Piggly-Wiggly for them thar marshmallow peanuts, check those seals real good iffen you buy a 2-liter 7-up. If the seal's broke and the 7-up burns with a clear blue flame - buy two.

Larry,.

This is all pre-planned by the oil industry and you have just naively played into their hands with this post.

This is a simple matter of corporate hording and price fixing. As long as corporations are able to hold their product off the market, creating an artificial scarcity, they will do so. This serves to develop a pent up demand, which then justifies their raising the prices, thus gilding their corporate wallets with profit.

It is clearly something coming out of a corporate executive office. Anything is OK, no matter how insidious, to increase short term profits, thus inflating stock prices and allowing the corporate robber barons to cash in their options and buy a fifth home in Europe.

It will, of course, appear to backfire soon. Once their own employees must pay more for the peanuts, they will demand in an increase in wages, which will be turned down by executives "managing labor" as a resource. Labor will eventually go on strike.

What few people realize though is that this is exactly what the oil industry wants. Once they go on strike, the corporations can hire scab workers, (with the covert support of Bush2) who will work for "peanuts", so to speak, compared to the professional unionized workers. The union will then be broken.

This will anger the union workers who are without a job. What will they seek? Guns. And who will they turn to to support their acquiring guns? The NRA.

As they join the NRA, they will be inundated with conservative, pro-Bush literature. One by one, they will reregister from the Democratic Party to the GOP -- which the oil industry hopes will enhancing Bush2's now-questionable ability to be elected for a second term.

And if it works, what then results? Well, of course, the oil lobby has their puppet in the White House for four more years and can continue to rape the American people and the world for fun and profit.

So, it all comes down to oil -- as does everything else. And it all starts with naive peope like you, Larry, publicizing a pre-planned artificial shortage of Marshmallow Circus Peanuts.

These days, it seems that people prefer straws with white powder in them more... :rolleyes: For that: EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!

Speaking of 7-11's, you know what I really hate? Those slurpy thingys that they sell. Another EEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!

The one true thing that I absolutley love are malts! I love malts! If you've never tried one, go and buy yourself a malt cup right now!!! They're kind of like Wendey's frosty. Actually, I perfer soft served ice cream well over the other stuff, like frozen yogurt.

George, absolutely brilliant. I have just one minor correction... it all comes down to money, not oil. Money, money, money.

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead CEO in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Hahahahaha, that's one of my all time favorites. Can't wait to tell that at the next shareholders meeting.

Ok, I'll stop.

Derick