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#558264 - 07/13/02 02:35 PM Musical Terms (Funny)  
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,974
jgoo Offline
3000 Post Club Member
jgoo  Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,974
Seattle, Washington, USA
These are by San Francisco trumpeter Al Molina:

p- Piano- The neighbors have complained
f- Forte- The neighbors are out
ff- Fortissimo- Forget the neighbors
pp- Pianissimo- The neighbors and the police are at the door
Obbligato- Being forced to practice
Rit/Rall- Coming to the part you haven't practiced
Con Moto- Yeah baby, I have a car
Allegro- It's a little car
Metronome- Short, urban musician who can fit into a Honda Civic
Lento- The days leading up to Easto
Largo- Beer brewed in Germany or the Florida Keys
Piu Animato- Clean out the cat's litter box or it goes
Interval- Time to meet the other players at the bar
Perfect Interval- When the drinks are on the house
Cantabile- Singing while drunk
Con Spirito- Drunk again
Chords- Things organists play with one finger
Dischords- Things organists play with two fingers
Suspended Chords- Things to lynch the vocalist
Subdominate- "I can't play unless I've asked my wife"
Syncopation- Condition brought on by an overdose of jazz
Quaver- The feeling brought on when you haven't practiced
Key Signatures- Silly little things put into music to frighten you (ignore and they will go away, along with your audience)
Colla Voce- This shirt is so tight I can't sing
Professional- Anyone who can't hold down a steady job
Flats- English apartments
A tempo de cafe- Ah, coffee time!
Improvisation- What you do when the music falls down
Fugue- Clever stuff
Prelude- Warmup before the clever stuff
Acciaccatura/Appoggiatura- Insects
Opus- Exclamation made when the cat "decorates" the new rug
Virtuoso- A person who can work wonders with easy-play music
Melody- An ancient now-extinct art in songwriting
Music- Happiness


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#558265 - 07/13/02 03:00 PM Re: Musical Terms (Funny)  
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 757
the artist Offline
500 Post Club Member
the artist  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 757
Tulsa, OK
laugh laugh That's Hilarious! laugh laugh
Quote
Originally posted by jgoo:

Opus- Exclamation made when the cat "decorates" the new rug
hmmm.. that must be referring to the 1st movement!

#558266 - 07/13/02 03:04 PM Re: Musical Terms (Funny)  
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,337
mrenaud Offline
1000 Post Club Member
mrenaud  Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,337
Switzerland
Another thing about signatures:

Key signatures: Scare anyone except for drummers. Ignore them.
Time signatures: Scare anyone, including drummers, who ignore them anyway.


I have an ice cream. I cannot mail it, for it will melt.
#558267 - 07/14/02 12:21 AM Re: Musical Terms (Funny)  
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 836
mkesfahani Offline
500 Post Club Member
mkesfahani  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 836
Irvine, CA
Quote
Originally posted by jgoo:
Rit/Rall- Coming to the part you haven't practiced
That's really funny.

Mike

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#558268 - 07/14/02 12:25 AM Re: Musical Terms (Funny)  
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,111
Mr. Gould Offline
1000 Post Club Member
Mr. Gould  Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,111
ff- Fortissimo- Forget the neighbors

Mauhuahuah thats funny, it reminds me of my neighbors!

#558269 - 07/15/02 12:28 PM Re: Musical Terms (Funny)  
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 357
PerfectPitch Offline
Full Member
PerfectPitch  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 357
Yonkers, NY
Quote
Originally posted by jgoo:
Piu Animato- Clean out the cat's litter box or it goes
LOL laugh eek wink

Isn't that cat one of the Iron Chefs??? LOL


A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. - Burt Bacharach
#558270 - 07/16/02 11:19 PM Re: Musical Terms (Funny)  
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,974
jgoo Offline
3000 Post Club Member
jgoo  Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,974
Seattle, Washington, USA
Quote
Originally posted by mrenaud:
Another thing about signatures:

Key signatures: Scare anyone except for drummers. Ignore them.
Time signatures: Scare anyone, including drummers, who ignore them anyway.
LOL!


For off-topic discussion, please feel free to visit www.coffee-room.com

Moderated by  Brendan, Kreisler 

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