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#558264 - 07/13/02 03:35 PM Musical Terms (Funny)
jgoo Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 07/23/01
Posts: 3974
Loc: Seattle, Washington, USA
These are by San Francisco trumpeter Al Molina:

p- Piano- The neighbors have complained
f- Forte- The neighbors are out
ff- Fortissimo- Forget the neighbors
pp- Pianissimo- The neighbors and the police are at the door
Obbligato- Being forced to practice
Rit/Rall- Coming to the part you haven't practiced
Con Moto- Yeah baby, I have a car
Allegro- It's a little car
Metronome- Short, urban musician who can fit into a Honda Civic
Lento- The days leading up to Easto
Largo- Beer brewed in Germany or the Florida Keys
Piu Animato- Clean out the cat's litter box or it goes
Interval- Time to meet the other players at the bar
Perfect Interval- When the drinks are on the house
Cantabile- Singing while drunk
Con Spirito- Drunk again
Chords- Things organists play with one finger
Dischords- Things organists play with two fingers
Suspended Chords- Things to lynch the vocalist
Subdominate- "I can't play unless I've asked my wife"
Syncopation- Condition brought on by an overdose of jazz
Quaver- The feeling brought on when you haven't practiced
Key Signatures- Silly little things put into music to frighten you (ignore and they will go away, along with your audience)
Colla Voce- This shirt is so tight I can't sing
Professional- Anyone who can't hold down a steady job
Flats- English apartments
A tempo de cafe- Ah, coffee time!
Improvisation- What you do when the music falls down
Fugue- Clever stuff
Prelude- Warmup before the clever stuff
Acciaccatura/Appoggiatura- Insects
Opus- Exclamation made when the cat "decorates" the new rug
Virtuoso- A person who can work wonders with easy-play music
Melody- An ancient now-extinct art in songwriting
Music- Happiness
_________________________
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#558265 - 07/13/02 04:00 PM Re: Musical Terms (Funny)
the artist Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/05/02
Posts: 757
Loc: Tulsa, OK
\:D \:D That's Hilarious! \:D \:D
 Quote:
Originally posted by jgoo:

Opus- Exclamation made when the cat "decorates" the new rug
[/b]
hmmm.. that must be referring to the 1st movement!

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#558266 - 07/13/02 04:04 PM Re: Musical Terms (Funny)
mrenaud Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/29/02
Posts: 1336
Loc: Switzerland
Another thing about signatures:

Key signatures: Scare anyone except for drummers. Ignore them.
Time signatures: Scare anyone, including drummers, who ignore them anyway.
_________________________
I have an ice cream. I cannot mail it, for it will melt.

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#558267 - 07/14/02 01:21 AM Re: Musical Terms (Funny)
mkesfahani Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/26/02
Posts: 836
Loc: Irvine, CA
 Quote:
Originally posted by jgoo:
Rit/Rall- Coming to the part you haven't practiced
[/b]
That's really funny.

Mike

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#558268 - 07/14/02 01:25 AM Re: Musical Terms (Funny)
Mr. Gould Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/07/01
Posts: 1111
ff- Fortissimo- Forget the neighbors[/b]

Mauhuahuah thats funny, it reminds me of my neighbors!

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#558269 - 07/15/02 01:28 PM Re: Musical Terms (Funny)
PerfectPitch Offline
Full Member

Registered: 02/13/02
Posts: 357
Loc: Yonkers, NY
 Quote:
Originally posted by jgoo:
Piu Animato- Clean out the cat's litter box or it goes[/b]
LOL \:D ;\)

Isn't that cat one of the Iron Chefs??? LOL
_________________________
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. - Burt Bacharach

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#558270 - 07/17/02 12:19 AM Re: Musical Terms (Funny)
jgoo Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 07/23/01
Posts: 3974
Loc: Seattle, Washington, USA
 Quote:
Originally posted by mrenaud:
Another thing about signatures:

Key signatures: Scare anyone except for drummers. Ignore them.
Time signatures: Scare anyone, including drummers, who ignore them anyway.[/b]
LOL!
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