Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Pianist Corner There is this girl at my school...

Sygnomei parakalo gyros but you can't make generalizations about swimsuit models and their piano playing ability.

Heck, I was once a runway model . . .

At LaGuardia.

I knew a guy in high school who dated this girl's sister just to annoy her.

Worked like a charm!

I would pull her aside the next time she comes up to me with such a comment, and say privately to her, "Is there a reason that you continually point out how there are so many people better than me every time I play? I am very well aware that there are many people better than me, and to me, piano is not a competition. I have nothing to prove, and don't feel the need to compare myself to others to make myself feel good or bad. For all the many, many people who are better than me, and there are many, I say hat's off to them. Why do you keep asking me this?"

If you say it with all sincerity, she cannot take it as sarcasm or as an attack, but secretly it will ***** her own conscience, put her on the spot to answer for her behaviour, and most likely, stop it from happening again. And in the end, since you asked an honest question, with sincerity, you don't look like a "higher than thou" type of individual.

I have learned that the best way to answer a question, or address someone like this, is with a question right back that they have to answer.

Funniest thread in the pianist corner, with the most questionable advices

From the hindsight of experience, yes. But it certainly doesn't feel that way at the time. I'm not old enough to have forgotten that, believe me.

I dont have that problem, i play, and most girls like it.

Funny thread(Adrian I had the same initial thought as you did)

You'll meet enough "hanger queens" (i.e. high maintenance airplane) in your life- just smile that you've identified one before it was too late and feel bad for any future boyfriend.

Jealousy, love, insecurity (which leads to jealousy)... sometimes they are all the same thing.

But for the sake of sanity, better to be sure which emotion is strongest first. It will better guide your ensuing conversations and actions.

But what if it leads them to answer with yet another question? It's a long continuous chain until someone backs off.

ahhh... just become better than she is. don't let it get to you. piano players are competitive sharks.

but in the mean time, mess with her mind as much as you can.

Dealing with people like this is one of lifes great lessons. You'll have to do it all of your life so you might as well get the practice now. My advice. Kill them with kindness! It always works. I'm not saying that you have to be buddy-buddy with her, but if you go out of your way to compliment her sincerely then she will; a)realize that you aren't trying to compete with her, b)realize that she has been acting...uh...not so nice, or c) she will think that you are coming onto her, in which case she will either fall for you, or completely ignore you for the rest of your high school years.

Indeed and I have on multiple occasions tried to be kind and compliment her. Unfortunately she hasn't changed one bit from then. As I stated before I have tried to avoid her at all costs. Problem is that she and I are both in the school orchestra and the orchestra teacher seems to choose me for all the pieces that require a piano part. In fact she has asked me to play the Tchaikovsky 1st concerto with the orchestra next winter which I believe will only feed her jealousy and insecurity.

It's not that I really care what she thinks, it's that she is trying to rally her friends, and she has a lot, against me.

mm.....I put something here but decided it was too inappropriate.....

mm... that might have been fun.

My perception is that she knows you are better than her and is trying to belittle you to make herself feel superior. She's trying to crush your self esteem.

Either way she is bad news. You already tried being nice to her and it didn't work so I would go another route if she approached me again.

"You obviously think I'm grand, if you didn't you wouldn't even bother taking the time to speak to me. I'm flattered but not interested"

I guarantee she will never seek you out to talk to you again.

In my opinion you have already handled this situation in a superbly mature way but your first response - there is really no reason to interact with her on any level at this point.

She sounds not only insecure but like someone with a big time personality disorder of the trauma-drama variety. Believe me - if you try and fight it with anything other than a good dose of reality you'll lose - she's miles better at manipulation people than you are.

If you try to be nicey nice she see right through it know she's gotten to you and lay it on even thicker -

If you try to reason it wont work - that's not how the game is played.
'
If you're nasty then you're only getting in deeper - hello Act Two.

Avoid talking to her an any but the most perfunctory (sp?) way and stay out of her way

By no means date her - you already know how cruel, insecure and immature she is - why would you want to date someone like that? I'm sure for every one of her there are twenty other kids in your class that like you because you are interesting, play the piano well, act mature etc etc etc. But you dont see them or meet them because you spend all you time on this Drama.

I doubt she has that many friends - what you are seeing are people she's managed to intimidate - and situations like that are inherently unstable. What are they going to do anyway? Just to be safe I would let a faculty member know what is going on. A lot of schools are much more conscious of the damaging effects of bullying and have a very low tolerance for it. That way if the Drama turns into a War Movie you'll have some backup.

Enjoy your success - you've earned it - if she's jealous because your a better pianist that's tough - she'll have to learn to deal with it with - that's not your problem. Enjoy being young and expanding you talent - meet the people you are supposed to be meeting right now - that's what life is all about.

If I were you, I'd just ignore her. She doesn't seem to be anything except a waste of space in your life.

But if it still persists, play Lizsts "La Campanella" or Beethoven's "Hammerklavier" Sonata, then drag her into the piano and dare her to play it, and say that the both of you won't leave the room until she'll be able to sight read the whole thing.

Meh...That was a joke :p but it would be funny if that happened.

Schubertian's reading of the situation and advice are very, very good.


John

Indeed I agree with this assessment quite a bit.