Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Pianist Corner Breaking the news to your teacher?

Do you have a crush on your teacher? Just go. Tell her, and tell her you would rather not talk about it. Bye bye.

Anyone have something helpful to say?

Wait until after you have given your performance, and then tell her that you are not returning.

Tell her that you feel she is not the best teacher for you. Tell her that you are a student who needs much help from the teacher, and that you feel you can get more from a teacher who does not shop for lingerie during lessons, who listens attentively to you, and who will give good advice.

Understand that most important is the relationship between the student and the teacher. If you and your teacher are not a good match, then you should definately transfer (which you already are going to do), and you shouldn't be afraid to tell her so.

Tell her honestly why you are leaving. Truthfully. Don't be afraid of her.

this is a good enough reason!

...but not the real reason.

I don't mean to play mother, but you shouldn't be afraid to tell the truth. Unless she's a demon spawn, I don't see a reason to make up an excuse.

sometimes, it's better not to tell the truth, since the truth hurts. so why bother, unless you want to help her next students by telling her what some big faults of hers are in her teaching.

Perhaps no one has ever told her the truth, so she thinks she can get away with such behavior?

Perhaps she might ask you to stay with a promise that she'll try to work a little better at your lessons?

Why make up a phony reason?? Tell her the TRUTH...even if it will cause some temporary humiliation it will be better for the both of you in the long run.

Why not just tell her the truth next time she does something inappropriate in your lesson? If my teacher started firing up the Internet in my lesson, I would stop playing that second. If she didn't get off, I'd speak up about it.

Why make up a phony reason?? Tell her the TRUTH...even if it will cause some temporary humiliation it will be better for the both of you in the long run.

apianonne, what is this school? You said the teacher has tenure, so is it a college/university? a conservatory? music-high school?

Universities tend to have teacher assessment and take surveys of students to get their feedback, if you have the opportunity, you should really let your experience be known, that this is a teacher who is not professional (internet during the lesson is inexcusable!) and has not made an effort to meet your needs as a student.

If it's not a university, you might want to figure out a different (though tactful) way to let her know why you're leaving.

Regarding the recital, do you have to play in it for grade-purposes? Start by telling her you're not ready and you don't want to play, see how it goes.

I'm against these ideas, what I would personally do is make up a lie and break it to her softly so I never have to deal with her again. Your excuse sounded good, that you have to transfer for financial reasons, it's something she certainly should be able to understand so I say go for it and make another excuse why you won't be in the recital too while you're at it. It's the best way unless you're really ballsy and I'm curious whether all these people making the suggestions to be straightforward would really look their teacher in the face and tell them they're not happy with their teaching, heck maybe I'm spineless but I don't think I'd be able to do that.

You obviously have some kind of attachment toward your teacher, your school, be it grades or otherwise. If I didn't like something I just don't do it again, don't return. It's like a bad restaurant. What's so bad about two people mutually agreeing that they don't like each other, or that the situation isn't working out, for whatever reason, and then just walking away without regrets. Move on, don't look back. Free yourself of this emotional baggage.

I'll be a little abrasive with this next comment:
Do the right thing and play the da** recital piece. Stop blaming the teacher for your lack of motivations. After the recital, tell the teacher the truth - that you feel that you and her are not the best match. If she asks you why, tell her the truth about the canceled lessons and internet.

I would take this up with the department chair immediately. There is no need to tell the teacher anything. You have a REAL problem so take it to someone who can do something real about it. She may have tenure, but they can make her life uncomfortable by doing such things as making her teach Music Appreciation.

I understand the motivation to keep it quiet and lie. However if you want to get out of the recital that's probably not an option. Life presents us with opportunities to be who we really want to be. This is one for you. Do you really want to leave this messunattended so someone else can be similarly harmed (how many students does this teacher have?)? Or do you want to be someone who runs from trouble and lets others clean up the mess? Be who you are, but if you take it to the departmental administration it becomes their problem especially if you leave.

Cheers,

I'm (sort of) with Frank III on this one. I agree that this is a teacher with whom you probably don't want to continue -- but I would hesitate before I went blaming my teacher for my being unprepared for a recital. I think it's quite possible to be somewhat ready for a performance without the "feedback" of a teacher, because, after a certain stage, the teacher becomes less of a teacher and more of a "coach." You are (probably, as I'm not really familiar with your situation) responsible for the notes, and essentially everything written in the score, and possibly more. If you give a note-perfect but uninspired performance, well, it's too bad the teacher couldn't give you the feedback you wanted, but it's not the end of the world, yes?