Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Pianist Corner Need ways to pursuade parents to buy a new piano.

I'm 13 years old, I've been playing the piano since I was five, yet I have never had a real (acoustic piano)... Many of you probably heard my story before.

I've tried almost everything to get a new piano, from Petitioning, to phamplets and a real discussion, but my parents won't cooperate. They're acting like stubborn (donkeys).

My current digital piano is extremely bad. There is no consistent touch to the keys, and the keys produce a very loud slapping sound when you press on them. It will randomly create dissonance and play the note at the highest volume.

I talked to my school, and they allowed me to use their piano, but it's a very light action, which may be dangerous in the long run.

I just hate it when my piano teacher asks me "Did you practice?!", to which I have to respond "Yes, for 2 hours each day", and I get a bad stare.


I'm about ready to pour liquid on the thing, it is so aggravating! My piano and I should be connected, but it refuses to cooperate! Warranties and service are out of the picture.

I feel your pain. I had to deal with an awful spinnet piano growing up, and it required all sorts of accommodations just to get a decent sound out of it. Have you offered to do work around the house? I'm not sure if you're old enough to work yet for a real job, but there's shoveling snow, among other things you could do. Tell them that you are serious about this and you will work to pay for a portion of the piano. They may say "no" flat out, but then offer to help out around the house. Go shovel snow for the neighbors for $10 or whatever (**sends snow your way, we've got lots of it!**). When they see how earnest you are about this, perhaps they will reconsider. If not, suck it up and practice on the crappy piano, and work until you can pay for it all by yourself. Either way, you'll eventually get a better instrument out of it.

You don't mention why they won't buy you a new piano.

Find out what the root of their objection is.

Then ask the question, "What can I do to get a new piano?"

It's also possible they can't afford to buy you one.

Tough to figure out the problem, if you don't know what it is first.

Try the approach above. At the worst, it won't work. At best, who knows?

Good suggestions from Akira. They may have a money problem. I still believe that a used acoustic piano is 100 times better than a brand new digital. They may find a good bargain in the newspaper. With a real piano you will feel the vibrations of the strings under your fingers and acquire the proper sensations and ear training. On a digital keyboard you could never do a half pedal. You will not grow if you do not have a real instrument. A digital is a toy, a piano is an instrument.

Another suggestion is to try and rent a piano.

This usually works (at least in the UK) that you rent a piano for 6 months, for example, and if you decide to buy it later you save the money you paid to rent, etc. If not you can keep renting it, but it might be a bit stupid (though you do save some monei of the rent as well for the next months/years to come).

This way you can tell your parents that it's some kind of "test". They are not buying a piano, just renting it. Prices over here, for a medium piano are as "low" as £30 (60$) per month, which is not amazingly much for 6 months.

You get those 6 months with a piano, and persuade them that:
a. they would "lose" the money if they sent the piano back
b. If they keep renting it means that they won't be using the 100% of the rent money anymore.
c. It is safe to get a piano, in case they were worried that you wouldn't study, since they see you studying everyday (thus it is proven you are mature enough to have a piano)
d. They have already paid the 1/5th, or whatever amount of the price of the piano.
e. Pianos usually do not lose "a lot of" value. It's not like cars that the minute you drive them bang 40% goes away!
f. This could actually help you on the way to rent a piano yourself. Cutting a deal for 360$ per 6 months, is much better than the price of a whole piano. This kind of money, could potentially be found from you easier. I mean shovel 36 gardens and you're done! Buying a piano would mean shoveling 200 or so (!) (then again if you have THAT much snow, you might as well start exporting some towards Greece! )

Now all this, considering in the US you can rent a piano with such conditions as in the UK. I bet you can, but can't be too sure.

Great to see that the quaint old 19th century attitudes aren’t quite dead yet. It’s always good to keep a few oldies around who can tell us about the past. (Got to be careful with some of the old codgers though – like the clockwork they’re always banging on about – they’re easily wound up….)

The problem here though is the lad is only 13, so his parents might not even have bought him his own horse and buggy yet – let alone one of those enormous, unpredictable, contraptions that you’re talking about. All that erratic wood and wire is SO high maintenance too – would he be up to all that?

I think Nikolas has hit on a fine solution – if the young man is keen to start on the hobby of collecting antiques and historical curiosities then the rental plan is the perfect way to start. He can contribute a worthwhile amount and prove himself worthy of additional support. (Perhaps he could find work as a chimney sweep? )

Cheers,

Chris

(Don’t believe the vicious rumours that I have a secret collection of wood, brass and wire curios hidden away at home. Digital – not just the Future. Enjoy it Now.)

Try this. My mama bought me a gawjus Steinway grand back when Steinway was making Steinways. It is now worth approximately 15 times what she paid for it according to the online "piano blue book." It's an investment and it's the best friend I ever had...

Does your teacher feel you are being held back by the level of your piano - if so, ask that your teacher mention to your parents how you are ready for a more serious instrument and how your playing might take flight.

Or....

Get a part time job and save money to buy one. Maybe your parents would go for it if you paid for half of it.

Here's an indirect approach... If your family has a church, maybe you can try to get involved and play some prelude/postlude music (if you don't already). The congregation will be impressed and will surely let your parents know. There's nothing like a little social pressure.

I sympathize with you because when I was
taking lessons as a child I had a bad
acoustic upright to practice on (there
were no digitals back then), and I came to
blame it for my problems at the keys--
however, now I see things differently.

After taking classcial lessons through high
school I quit playing for 20 yrs. (I blamed
the upright for my problems mainly). When
I restarted as an adult, the first piano
I bought was a top-of-the-line acoustic
upright (the same model today would be
more than $15,000). My thinking was that
I was going to give it a real serious try
this time around, and I would need a much
better piano for that. However, I soon
discovered that the piano was not the problem.
I could play no better on this fine upright
than on the lousy one I had as a child.
The trouble lay in the fundamental problem
in piano playing: reading and then hitting
the right notes in the right time at speed.
You do that the same way on any keyboard
instrument: concert grand, harpsichord,
clavichord, upright, digital, 61-key portable
keyboard, organ, etc.

I've been playing only digital pianos since
1989, and they have only reconfirmed my
view about pianos: if you can't play something
well on a digital piano, you're not going
to play it well on any acoustic. For
example, if your parents were to buy
you a concert grand to practice on, the
same problems you have now with reading
and then hitting the right notes in the
right time at speed will still be there. Your
playing will not improve simply by buying
a more expensive piano.

As for the stiffer action on some grand
pianos, that's something of a problem
if the piano you practice on has a lighter
action, but that should not be significant
if you've solved the fundamental
problem of reading and then hitting the right
notes in the right time at speed. You
may have to huff and puff a little when
playing on the stiff grand, but you should
be able to do it with no real problem.

How is a light action dangerous? Using the school piano if available might just get you a decent practice instrument.

I hope the statements that your parents are stubborn donkeys and that you are ready to destroy the digital piano were written sarcastically. If not, I'd say grow up and learn the value of the dollar. It is not your right to have a piano. It is already a privilege to have a digital piano, regardless of how bad it is, and to be able to take lessons. Appreciate it and show that you appreciate it.

Prove that a better piano will be better for you. I cannot for the life of me play on a keyboard or digital piano. However, I have taught students who have only played on basic keyboards and they were able to transfer to a piano easily for a performance. Just because you practice for 2 hrs does not mean you are practicing the right stuff. Does your teacher write reviews of your lesson? If not, ask for reviews. Then, devote time to practicing on the school piano for the same amount of time for a couple of weeks. Does the reviews change? Show them to your parents.

Do you get new clothes every year? Do you get presents for your birthday or for the holidays? Ask not to receive any of that and for it to go into a piano fund. Give up going to the movies, give up any other activity you do besides school. Show that you are willing to sacrifice. Get a job. This can even be saved up for a piano later on, not necessary for while you are at home.

You are 13 already. Think about your future. You could chose to be free in a few years should the current arrangement be too frustrating. You could focus on school and go to college where you could have access to nice pianos. Start researching and studying.

I went to college when I turned 16 and have been on my own since then with scholarships which included music if I had chosen to accept them. I am certainly not a genius on the keys nor in other disciplines. No one can keep you from your dreams except yourself. Work for it.

I'm going to have to disagree with part of what you say, Gyro. Of course reading skills and ability to find the right note will not improve simply from having a better instrument. However, Sean is getting into advanced music which requires a LOT of detail work. Obviously, this cannot be accomplished if he is stuck on a bad instrument. A crappy acoustic would be just as bad. Ideally, he should be practicing on a nice acoustic or a high-end digital. Anything but an inferior, malfunctioning relic.
Sean, you deserve better!

I agree with miaieh. It is important to listen to your parents' objections. They have an idea of how you should be trained in learning the value of a dollar, and how you should spend your free time.

It is very difficult for others to comment without hearing their side of the story. In the meantime, you do not come across in a flattering way by comparing your parents to stubborn donkeys. Your loyalty and appreciation is first owed to your parents.

There are some important life lessons developing here: how you can work with your parents to achieve your dreams and still be trained to be respectful and responsible and loyal to your family.

Why not get your parents on here to post and dialogue with other parents?

In the longer view of things, all artists suffer one thing or another for the sake of their music. You're in good company.

A good digital stage piano (e.g., Kawai MP8) is better than a bad acoustic. I tend to do a lot of my practice on the digital (noise, etc.) and while a good acoustic is better, I prefer the digital to a poorly maintained "brand" grand.

ocd

just make do with what you have until you can get a job and buy one yourself.


I'd rather not do the whole "back in my day"...... but back in my day before i got to college i practiced on a very very old upright. The action was almost like a keyboard, the sustain pedal didn't work, some of the keys didn't work, and a lot of the keys were chipped at the end so i was constantly getting little cuts on my fingers which annoyed me to no end.

After a while the black and white paint started wearing off the wooden keys and i would get blisters on my fingertips which eventually calloused.

But whenever we had company and i had to play, they would always compliment my expressiveness and quality of playing. When i finally got to the college i'm at now, i got to practice on a grand everyday which was like heaven.

moral of the story: the musician makes the instrument, the instrument does not make the musician.

Very good points, miaieh and guest1013.
I think it is a good idea to try to work with parents as opposed to working against them. They may not quite understand your side, but maybe there is something that you're not seeing from their side. If you have to buy the piano yourself, so be it. You will have to make sacrifices as we all have. Don't give up on getting a better instrument! It probably won't happen quickly but when it does, I'm sure it will be well worth the wait.

Sean, I a parent of a student who is now a young adult in music studies, and I am studying music myself and so understand the frustrations of bad instruments. How about taking some issues one at a time:
Petitioning and pamphlets sound a bit silly: they are family members, not voters. What has your discussion entailed? That is the first important point. Could you clarify?

Have you discussed your situation with your teacher? Explain about the piano. Also explain about the school piano and your concerns about its light action. It sounds as though your school piano might be a solution for you if you are serious about practicing. What does your teacher say about light action pianos.

To a degree your piano should serve you, and if it creates dissonance (you mean a note will suddenly play as a different note? digitals can do that?) then it interferes with practicing. However, the musicianship and skills are within you and not the instrument. A good instrument will allow you to achieve more. A really faulty one may train you into bad habits. Being able to adjust to different pianos may be a valuable skill to develop, especially since pianists do not carry their own instruments around with them like a flutist or violinist would.

First of all discuss this with your teacher. Find out what your needs really are, and find out about your approach to pianos i.e. the light school one. Once your true needs are known, (you don't need a new piano, you need to be able to practice on a decent piano regularly each day for a set number of hours) approach your parents. Truly listen to what they have to say and make it a real dialogue - that means listening. What are their concerns? Why don't they want to buy you a replacement piano? Can they afford one? What are you willing to do? What expectations do they have? How could you contribute toward its purchase, if your teacher has determined that it is necessary? Or can you manage with the school piano for the time being?

Sean, I a parent of a student who is now a young adult in music studies, and I am studying music myself and so understand the frustrations of bad instruments. How about taking some issues one at a time:
Petitioning and pamphlets sound a bit silly: they are family members, not voters. What has your discussion entailed? That is the first important point. Could you clarify?

Have you discussed your situation with your teacher? Explain about the piano. Also explain about the school piano and your concerns about its light action. It sounds as though your school piano might be a solution for you if you are serious about practicing. What does your teacher say about light action pianos.

To a degree your piano should serve you, and if it creates dissonance (you mean a note will suddenly play as a different note? digitals can do that?) then it interferes with practicing. However, the musicianship and skills are within you and not the instrument. A good instrument will allow you to achieve more. A really faulty one may train you into bad habits. Being able to adjust to different pianos may be a valuable skill to develop, especially since pianists do not carry their own instruments around with them like a flutist or violinist would.

First of all discuss this with your teacher. Find out what your needs really are, and find out about your approach to pianos i.e. the light school one. Once your true needs are known, (you don't need a new piano, you need to be able to practice on a decent piano regularly each day for a set number of hours) approach your parents. Truly listen to what they have to say and make it a real dialogue - that means listening. What are their concerns? Why don't they want to buy you a replacement piano? Can they afford one? What are you willing to do? What expectations do they have? How could you contribute toward its purchase, if your teacher has determined that it is necessary? Or can you manage with the school piano for the time being?

They said it would disturb the neighbors, the cost of tuning would be too high, and "we don't have enough money", like they have for the past 12 months...

This is wrong, because the piano I want (Yamaha U series) has a mute pedal, and they have blown 6000 dollars on TWO HDTV's. They've blown 899 dollars on a fancy solid ink printer, etc.