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Which dictionary should we use to avoid offending other pianophiles?

Are MW and the OED too permissive?

If blasphemies and vulgar words are beyond the pale, what about slang and informal words?

The dictionary of decent conduct and good manners. I suppose this should be enough.

From its definition slang is informal language and therefore need not and in my humble opinion should be avoided in written text. It may be written if it is within quotation marks. Slang need not be offensive.
I guess that it is good that English is a dynamic and constantly changing language and so new words including slang appear in the OED if they are used sufficiently. Similarly changes to English grammar are accepted if there is sufficient usage. We are keen science fiction fans but it always rankles with me when I hear the words "to boldly go".

Pretend that as you are posting, your mother, grandmother, pastor, and child are looking over your shoulder as you type. Don't say anything that you would not want them to read.

This really doesn’t need a long conversation or a dictionary. As adults, we should have been exposed to enough situations to be able to judge what usage is appropriate for the particular situation.

- If it seems questionable to you, don’t type it.

Huh??? I think you took Ken Knapp’s comment completely out of context.

Basically he undermines the existing problem (what to say etc.)

I think this has been thoroughly explained.