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Re: Should 18 yr olds book their own lessons?
Candywoman #3031758 10/03/20 06:29 PM
Joined: Apr 2020
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I used to have private students to tutor in a non- music field. If the parent is footing the bill, they may as well get involved in the planning because I wouldn’t want to get stuck in between the student and the parent... and possibly not get paid. I have treated all high schoolers as minors and involved the parents as such, and all college students as independent adults. I prefer texts but if a client wants to email, I usually go along although I would drop hints that they switch to texting. I agree that some parents are way too overbearing, but it’s not my job to change their parenting style...

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Re: Should 18 yr olds book their own lessons?
Charles Cohen #3031764 10/03/20 06:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Charles Cohen
FWIW --

My snap answer to the question asked:

. . . It depends on the 18-year-old.

You won't know who _that_ is, until you meet him for a lesson.
What has made the most sense to me.

Re: Should 18 yr olds book their own lessons?
Seeker #3031804 10/03/20 10:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Seeker
FWIW - it's your decision. This parent is already causing you angst, and you haven't even met the student yet!

If the parent "...questions everything, and doesn't respond back", I would send one potentially final email response. "Thank you for your clarifying questions. Since your son is legally an adult at 18 and is ultimately responsible for any arrangements himself irrespective of who is paying, our next step is for him to contact me himself. This is not negotiable. The absence of an affirmative response from him within [pick a time frame] will be taken as a decision not to proceed with me. Blah, blah, blah, sincerely, Teacher Candywoman".

You are right. It is my decision. I might think the things you wrote, but would never state them.

Re: Should 18 yr olds book their own lessons?
K8KT #3031805 10/03/20 10:13 PM
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Originally Posted by K8KT
I agree that some parents are way too overbearing, but it’s not my job to change their parenting style...

That's where we differ. I do believe my role is to change people and their parents. I like the role of mentor. Naturally, it's done very subtly over a long period of time. But many overbearing parents need a lesson in treating their children better. And the children need to learn to not cave in to their overbearing parents.

Since very few people actually learn to play the piano, I might as well teach adult students to step up, and their parents to step away.

Last edited by Candywoman; 10/03/20 10:16 PM.
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