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Musician joke - A conductor needed to get a sub for their clarinetist in orchestra. Vendor told him the only person available is a jazz clarinetist. Conductor was reluctant, but they had four rehearsals so decided to give the musician a try. The first rehearsal didn't go very well but after clarinetist had chance to practice the second and third rehearsals went much better. On the last practice the clarinetist nailed the music. After rehearsal was over the conductor went out of his way to praise the clarinetist for his ability to learn the music. The clarinetist then thanked the conductor and orchestra and said, too bad I can't make the performance.

Too true

The punchline wooshed me. Is there a thing with jazz musicians flaking on gigs?

I liked it LOL

I'm also not sure.

There are a few other options

1. The clarinettist just wanted to play with an orchestra

2. The clarinettist thought the rehearsal was a gig. Maybe they already paid for his rehearsal time.

3. The conductor is not smart enough to first ask if someone can play that evening?

4. The conductor is too narrow minded to even consider that the clarinettist would not put everything aside ?

Jazz players can be known to sub-out if a better paying gig comes their way or if a new gig comes their way that has better players.

Not in my experience. Yours?

I was hipped to real version at other forum site:


Here's the full version. It's about Jazz musicians:

The Jazz Player's Reputation
A conductor who is preparing for a performance is having trouble finding a good clarinet player. He calls a contractor who tells him, "The only guy I've got available is a jazz clarinetist."

"I can't stand working with jazz musicians!" says the conductor. "They dress shabbily, they're always late, and every one of them has an attitude problem." "He's all I've got," says the contractor. "OK," says the conductor, "I'm getting desperate, so I'll take him."

The conductor arrives early for the first rehearsal and sees the jazz clarinetist wearing a suit and tie, a pencil rests on his stand, and he's practicing his part. During the rehearsal, he plays the part sensitively and writes down all of the conductor's suggestions. At the second rehearsal, the clarinetist plays even better. At the final dress rehearsal, the clarinetist plays his part flawlessly.

During the rehearsal break, the conductor tells the orchestra, "I've got an apology to make. I was really dreading having to work with a jazz musician, but I must say that our clarinetist has proven me wrong. He's always neatly dressed, comes early to rehearsal, and he really listened to me and learned his part very well."

Turning to the clarinet player the maestro says, "I just wanted to tell you that I truly appreciate your effort and dedication."

The clarinetist replies, "Hey man, it's the least I can do since I can't make the gig."

Yes, for background jazz in hotel lobbies or functions. I wasn't the leader, so I went with the flow. They always got good subs since they were Berklee students.

I think this story uses creative licence to say the clarinetist would of done that after such a commitment.

Hey, bottom line, it is a joke and I liked how it was set up. Kind of like a good jazz solo.

In what respect is this funny?

tough crowd

I didn't get it. But I'm not really a concert "professional" like so many of you! In person, I probably would have laughed with the pros because I'm a little slow anyway!