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Spouse commenting on piano playing
#2954687 03/06/20 05:06 AM
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I was practising today with my wife being at home at the same time. This does not happen very often since when she is at home I usually don't have the time to practise. I was expecting some negative remark like „... it is actually quite loud, isn't it?“ or so, because that's what she already said when she was there when I was practising, and I wanted to prepare myself for a negative comment. She actually did say something related to my piano playing. She said „don't you get ear aches from this? It is so LOUD!“.Wow, that was even more negative than I anticipated.

Anybody else having similar experiences?


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Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Gretel #2954699 03/06/20 06:21 AM
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Never play tennis with your spouse/husband nor any other hobby for that matter.... mine hates opera when i am a great fan. We are completely incompatible from a hobby point of view. I ignore the negatives when there are some.

Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Gretel #2954702 03/06/20 06:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Gretel
I was practising today with my wife being at home at the same time. This does not happen very often since when she is at home I usually don't have the time to practise. I was expecting some negative remark like „... it is actually quite loud, isn't it?“ or so, because that's what she already said when she was there when I was practising, and I wanted to prepare myself for a negative comment. She actually did say something related to my piano playing. She said „don't you get ear aches from this? It is so LOUD!“.Wow, that was even more negative than I anticipated.

Anybody else having similar experiences?


Sounds unnecessarily harsh to me. I can't imagine my partner treating me like that.

Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Gretel #2954709 03/06/20 06:50 AM
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We currently are living in a small house, i.e. one large common room. Hubby works from home and consequently uses the speakerphone so that he can use his computer at the same time. If need be, thankfully I can go to the bedroom, close the doors and put in ear buds.

I have a digital piano and can use headphones to play during he's working hours, sleeping, or has a sinus pressure headache which can be almost as bad as a migraine. Could your spouse be suffering from a physical ailment which makes them sensitive to sound?


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Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Gretel #2954724 03/06/20 08:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Gretel
I was practising today with my wife being at home at the same time. This does not happen very often since when she is at home I usually don't have the time to practise. I was expecting some negative remark like „... it is actually quite loud, isn't it?“ or so, because that's what she already said when she was there when I was practising, and I wanted to prepare myself for a negative comment. She actually did say something related to my piano playing. She said „don't you get ear aches from this? It is so LOUD!“.Wow, that was even more negative than I anticipated.

Anybody else having similar experiences?


I rented a silent acoustic U1 thinking that I’d have to play silently while my wife and I were both at home. It turned out that the clacking of keys without music is more annoying to my wife than playing out loud! I had not expected this at all. So, now, I just play out loud.

My wife says that she does not mind listening to me practice the piano when she is working at home. She has said some things about the loudness and harshness of my playing so I have tried to shape my sound and control my volume better. With an acoustic, you are the only volume control. Every once in a while my wife will say, “Nice, chéri!” after I play something and it always catches me by surprise and warms my heart. She’s French, so that’s why she says that, lol.

Last edited by LarryK; 03/06/20 08:36 AM.
Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Gretel #2954726 03/06/20 08:40 AM
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I wouldn't be able to stand it if someone in my home had pop, rock or jazz on. Or if someone was playing a string or wind instrument and couldn't play in tune........even if they were playing Bach (especially if they were playing Bach smirk ).

And I wouldn't want to subject my piano practicing (or even my singing) to anyone, if I was using an acoustic.

That's why I can't live with anyone (not even a cat cry).........even though my piano is a digital with no speakers, and I use headphones whistle.


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Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
LadyAcadia #2954728 03/06/20 08:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Sidokar
Never play tennis with your spouse/husband nor any other hobby for that matter.... mine hates opera when i am a great fan. We are completely incompatible from a hobby point of view. I ignore the negatives when there are some.

Same! We didn't marry because of our shared hobbies! 😂

Originally Posted by LadyAcadia
Could your spouse be suffering from a physical ailment which makes them sensitive to sound?

My wife is doesn't have an ailment but is sensitive to loud sounds. They wreck her nerves. I would only use headphones around her. And if I had an acoustic, it would have a silent feature. I think this is only polite. I don't want to hear her hiphop and whatnot around the house either so she treats me with the same courtesy in return. Actually, I have no idea what music my wife listens to these days - it's been years since she's blasted it through speakers.


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Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Tyrone Slothrop #2954736 03/06/20 09:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Originally Posted by Sidokar
Never play tennis with your spouse/husband nor any other hobby for that matter.... mine hates opera when i am a great fan. We are completely incompatible from a hobby point of view. I ignore the negatives when there are some.

Same! We didn't marry because of our shared hobbies! 😂

Originally Posted by LadyAcadia
Could your spouse be suffering from a physical ailment which makes them sensitive to sound?

My wife is doesn't have an ailment but is sensitive to loud sounds. They wreck her nerves. I would only use headphones around her. And if I had an acoustic, it would have a silent feature. I think this is only polite. I don't want to hear her hiphop and whatnot around the house either so she treats me with the same courtesy in return. Actually, I have no idea what music my wife listens to these days - it's been years since she's blasted it through speakers.


That’s funny. My wife and I share pretty much the same taste in music, although she glumly calls Bach “church music,” which is certainly accurate, lol. I guess I wouldn’t be able to tolerate hip hop or rap, I just haven’t been able to adapt to that music. So, her Dylan or U2 over hip hop or rap, ok, fine. My rocker days are behind me so I don’t put on Led Zeppelin.

I cannot listen to symphonic music on my stereo because the dynamic range is so huge that it provokes complaints from my wife. So, Brahms symphonies are out. I have gotten my wife to sit down and listen to Gershwin’s Rhapsody in Blue, which she loves, and I’ve explained how it is going to get really loud in certain parts but that the loudness will not last forever. Still, it’s a challenge with her to accept any loud sounds, no matter how many times I explain the difference between ppp and fff.

I’ve always found it funny that music with a small dynamic range can be played at any volume level while music with a large dynamic range cannot without losing the quiet parts or being told to turn it down during the loud parts.

Last edited by LarryK; 03/06/20 09:24 AM.
Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Gretel #2954739 03/06/20 09:23 AM
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My girlfriend and I don't give each other negative feedback. She would prefer that I don't practice with headphones on the N2. She said the sound of the keys with no piano sound is annoying. She never practices with headphones.

So we've gotten used to hearing each other practicing. It doesn't bother us smile


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Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Gretel #2954742 03/06/20 09:25 AM
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Perhaps the problem is that we pianists play at a sound level appropriate for our ears and satisfaction. When I listen to my 14 year old grandaughter playing I feel she plays too loudly.
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Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
bSharp(C)yclist #2954745 03/06/20 09:30 AM
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Originally Posted by bSharp(C)yclist
My girlfriend and I don't give each other negative feedback. She would prefer that I don't practice with headphones on the N2. She said the sound of the keys with no piano sound is annoying. She never practices with headphones.

So we've gotten used to hearing each other practicing. It doesn't bother us smile


I can see why key noise is annoying. I would liken it to those old plastic PC keyboards that made such a terrible racket, those things are annoying. At one point, I was with someone who was churning out poetry using an IBM Selectric typewriter. It was like being subjected to machine gun fire!

Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Gretel #2954760 03/06/20 10:02 AM
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I’m pretty lucky my husband is not very sensitive to sound. The only things he says to me are, “Are you going to play your ding ding ding now?” or “I thought you were going to practice your ding ding ding?” As you might’ve guessed, my “ding ding ding” is my piano lol.

With my sax playing he’s less flexible. My sax is much louder than my piano and much more annoying sounding. He relegated me to the 2nd floor bedroom walk-in closet with my closet door and bedroom door closed. He refers to my sax as my beep beep beep. He’ll say stuff like, “Are you sure you closed the door? Your beep beep beep is really loud!” I laugh and ignore him.

I don’t think he cares what common instrument I play in the house except he did say no drums. If I took up drums I think my neighbours would murder me. Lol

Last edited by WeakLeftHand; 03/06/20 10:04 AM.

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Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
WeakLeftHand #2954764 03/06/20 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by WeakLeftHand
I’m pretty lucky my husband is not very sensitive to sound. The only things he says to me are, “Are you going to play your ding ding ding now?” or “I thought you were going to practice your ding ding ding?” As you might’ve guessed, my “ding ding ding” is my piano lol.

With my sax playing he’s less flexible. My sax is much louder than my piano and much more annoying sounding. He relegated me to the 2nd floor bedroom walk-in closet with my closet door and bedroom door closed. He refers to my sax as my beep beep beep. He’ll say stuff like, “Are you sure you closed the door? Your beep beep beep is really loud!” I laugh and ignore him.

I don’t think he cares what common instrument I play in the house except he did say no drums. If I took up drums I think my neighbours would murder me. Lol


LOL. I was at a trio rehearsal at my classical guitar ensemble teacher's apartment and I heard some percussion noise from somewhere in the building. I asked what it was and my teacher told me that a professor of percussion had moved into an upstairs apartment. The professor had spent thousands of dollars to contain the noise but it would still leak out in weird and unexplained ways. After that little bit of booming, I didn't hear any more noise for the next hour. Evidently, he has a huge drum setup in his apartment.

Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Gretel #2954766 03/06/20 10:23 AM
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And Tyrone, wasn't your wife a piano major? Couldn't she throw you a bone, in the form of some positive comments, every once in a while?

Last edited by LarryK; 03/06/20 10:24 AM.
Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Gretel #2954773 03/06/20 10:54 AM
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I am really lucky that my husband enjoys my practicing. He even likes the fact that in learning the 3d movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, I play it so slowly that he can hear all the inner structure that goes by super-fast in performances. He also takes lessons and practices himself. The other lucky thing is that we have a three-story house, so we don't have to be in the same room.


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Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
LarryK #2954776 03/06/20 11:00 AM
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Originally Posted by LarryK
And Tyrone, wasn't your wife a piano major? Couldn't she throw you a bone, in the form of some positive comments, every once in a while?

No, sister was a piano performance minor. Wife took piano at a Russian children's music school. Wife's university majors were law, art, and other stuff.

So no bones. Besides, if she'd hear mine than it would only be fair to hear hers. And I like not hearing her music. grin


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Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Gretel #2954790 03/06/20 11:41 AM
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Since our "hobby" - as one called it - is all-consuming for some of us to the point of taking up almost all the free time we have (or have had), it puzzles me how some couples who are diametrically opposed in their interests (hobby), even managed to get together let alone live together.

To quote R&H's king: "Is a puzzlement!"

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Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
BruceD #2954802 03/06/20 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted by BruceD
Since our "hobby" - as one called it - is all-consuming for some of us to the point of taking up almost all the free time we have (or have had), it puzzles me how some couples who are diametrically opposed in their interests (hobby), even managed to get together let alone live together.

To quote R&H's king: "Is a puzzlement!"

Regards,


They do say that opposites attract.

After ten years of taking classical guitar lessons, I started on piano lessons and brought in an acoustic piano. My wife told me that she preferred the piano to the classical guitar, haha! I was like, wait, now you tell me???

We live in a one bedroom apartment. There is no way that we're not hearing what the other person is doing, unless I wear headphones on the silent piano, and she hates the key noise.

A relationship is a balancing act. I can imagine that people with exactly the same hobbies might clash as well. How are two people going to practice the trumpet or the violin at the same time?

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LarryK #2954819 03/06/20 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted by LarryK
They do say that opposites attract.

Opposites do attract. I'm an introvert. My wife is an extreme extravert who lives a socialite life and has 2-3 social events per day. I only listen to classical music. She likes.... I don't even know what. I don't care about what I wear and sometimes don't get things to match even though I know better. My wife bought an $8000 pair of shoes once (to my complete horror 😭) The differences goes on and on. At least we share two languages. That's about it.

I never believed on trying to find a significant other that shared my interests. Otherwise, I'd have ended up with a mathematician. 😂


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"Discipline is more reliable than motivation." -by a contributor on Reddit r/piano
"Success is 10% inspiration, and 90% perspiration." -by some other wise person
"Pianoteq manages to keep it all together yet simultaneously also go in all directions; like a quantum particle entangled with an unknown and spooky parallel universe simply waiting to be discovered." -by Pete14
Re: Spouse commenting on piano playing
Gretel #2954820 03/06/20 12:41 PM
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We are in a small house, one floor, but my artist wife thinks it’s cool I play classical piano. She never complains. However, I want a harpsichord but she’ll have none of that!

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