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Oh boy, I knew somebody might say this and to a certain extent it's true. I am seriously considering a do-over under completely different circumstances. Thanks for the brutal honesty Pianoman.

I think it is the same one, but you can check against the Soundcloud recording I just posted.


Isn't perfectionism the enemy of the good? I'm thinking of the other posts where people have correctly indicated that I may be obsessed with the details and not the Gestalt, or at least that I wasn't thinking big concept while I was recording. And those people are right. Recordings suck for that reason. The examiners will listen to bits and pieces to determine whether I meet their acceptance criteria, whatever those may be. They will hear anomalous gestures in the very first piece that they listen to. If they listen any further, I may get through, but who knows? These people are busy and they are quick to recognize talent and the lack of it.

(Hey, you might have missed a reply....)

Er, yes I did miss it. And I thank you, Mark. I feel better already -- but that is your raison d'etre, right.

So the most difficult piece of all is the Balakirev Mazurka. You probably haven't heard it before, but it's probably on IMSLP if you want to follow along with the score. Perhaps you can reassure me that this better than I think it was. This will be the last one I post, at least until I've seen the videos.

Balakirev Mazurka #5, Cute Little Piece!

And today I finally touched a piano again after 11 days and lived to tell the tale. Woo hoo!

The Balakirev: I think this is very good playing, as far as I can tell -- but I'm probably not able to tell much because I basically don't know the composer; the only piece that I'm familiar with is the famous/infamous one .....which I'm not much of a fan of.
To the extent that I can tell anything about this piece, I do think you seem to be playing it very well, but the piece feels over-long to me. The Scarlatti strikes me more positively, and I suspect I'd like the other pieces more than this one too -- but, need I say, don't go at all on what I'm saying about it, since I don't know it.
In any event, for sure this piece carries the advantage of being repertoire that the judges aren't going to be hearing a dozen performances of, and which maybe has never been played in any of these amateur competitions. (Unless you've played it!)

I find this recording to be much better than the first video you posted. The tempo is more andante and it works better to get the piece flowing. The upper voice is clearly audible and leading. I like the sort of minimalism in the interpretation. Nothing is perfect and so there are things you could improve here as well, but what is important is that this piece conveys an emotion and a personality. There is a style, it seems like you departed from Horowitz after all, and the piece stands together consistently from beginning to end. On this excellent basis you can continue to add refinements, nuances and fine tune the rendition.

I think you should definitely keep this piece in your set, it would be a shame to remove it.

And a very happy new year to you, my dear fellow!!

This didn’t come out quite right. I wasn’t suggesting that your sole purpose in life is to help ME! I just meant that your credentials and wide experience as a professional healer obviously make it easier for you to dispense good advice to people in general!

“Perfectionism” is an ambiguous term having both negative and positive connotations.

I was trying to say that all the attention you previously paid to the details of the piece are now successfully subsumed and incorporated into a coherent vision of the piece that I find compelling and convincing (at least in the first recording of the Scarlatti that I heard — haven’t listened yet to what you’ve posted here).

I haven't had post recording paralysis. But I have had post performance paralysis. I worked very hard on a piece, played it (it thankfully went okay) and after that I felt so relieved that I was demotivated to play.

What motivated me was listening to other piano music that made me want to learn again. Perhaps you should try exploring some new music? Genres you wouldn't normally listen to. And see if it inspires you to play.

I realise I'm writing this way after the fact, but I wanted to say thank you for bringing up this topic because I think it's an important one - and you're definitely not the only one going through things like this!

As others have pointed out, the Scarlatti is stellar. Holy cannoli. Now I'm nowhere near the level you play on - it's not so much a matter of "not in the same post code" as "different galaxy" - but I do have some judgement. I'm sure you hear all sorts of bits you'd like to improve on, but that doesn't mean it's in any way not up to scratch as it is.

As a trained coach, I'll say that this is one of those things you just have to get through, or stop performing in public. Needless to say, I hope you'll push through it. In the mid term, you might look into actually getting coaching for a bit; I recommend NLP, which has some brilliant techniques with which to work through stage fright and performance anxiety. You can of course look this up online, but I'd really recommend working with someone one-on-one, at least for a few sessions; it's worth every cent you'll spend on it (just make sure you're dealing with a qualified practitioner).

Oh, there wasn't any issue at all -- I got it totally how you meant it!

I listened to the Scarlatti 3 times. The first time I thought the agogic accents and resulting hesitations interrupted the musical flow and detracted from the performance. That led me to google agogic accents and Scarlatti which further led me to Lucas Debargue recordings. I listened to some of his Scarlatti and did not hear any agogic accents so think they must be subtle. By my 3rd listen of your 87 the hesitations/agogic accents started to grow on me. But, I think overall that they seem artificial. I think the voicing in this latest version is more beautiful than in your previous version.

Not knowing anything about gateway jurors for the Cliburn I tend to agree with Mark that there is no way the Scarlatti would keep you out of the competition. I would rethink performing it with those agogic accents during the competition.

BTW my D is a Smithie Firstie - yup, that is what they call them now.

SiFi:

I must admit that this Scarlatti will not have any effect on your application.
IMO, you can safely choose not to include it.
I can't and won't go into any detail, but you have already found out yourself that it is not there yet.
Maybe it is the piano, or the tuning, or the recording, or voicing of the parts, or phrasing, but this does not sound convincing to me.

Personally, as one who has never played Scarlatti in his life but is familiar with this sonata on a very basic level, I think the recording is successful. Both are for that matter.

They both suffer from a certain fussiness. Really, as you seem to allude, a focus on minute details at the expense of projecting and tying together larger ideas to make a concise narrative. I find it more of an issue in the Balakirev where I find myself desiring more obvious contrasts and for every change of setting to really have it's own distinct character/dynamic/different tempo flexibility in hoped of something a bit higher up on the excitement scale.

Nonetheless, they're both demonstrate a thoughtful attentive musician.

Yep, had that too. Actually I would guess that post-performance paralysis (or blahs, or ennui, but I think we're on the same page) is probably more common.

You gave me good advice, by the way. The thing that got me going again was that I had to start practicing different repertoire for a recital next week. Thanks for you comments!

Thanks for commenting, Hakki. The main thing I worry about with not including it is that it's my only pre-19th century repertoire selection. But then again, it's not exactly typical of Baroque idioms, or even much like any other Scarlatti. So yeah, decisions, decisions.

It's interesting to me that everyone who's posted pretty much acknowledges how difficult this simple looking piece really is. It is the absolute antithesis of those keyboard works that can be said to almost play themselves. A single misplaced accent or inorganic rhythmic gesture can completely destroy the exquisitely long lines. And there's never a chance to relax because it's actually perpetual motion. The eighth notes are completely unbroken throughout both sections, so playing it is like weaving a tapestry out of different-colored silk threads. Everything has to be just right.

Since this is your only available pre-19th century piece, then you should include it in the application.
You might regret more if your application is turned down because you didn't provide a broader repertoire.

Simon: I gotta mention this thing I came across in an old NY Times review (of a recital by a pianist named Craig Sheppard), which I think is curiously relevant to what we've said about the alleged.....


Let me preface it by noting that this is a pianist of some note who won high prizes in major competitions, and that this was a basically positive review, including that it talked about "the fascination of his individualistic interpretations."

OK -- get this:

The writer complained about "exaggerations of detail" but immediately added, "it was often these exaggerations that held the attention. Mr. Sheppard liked to stress melodic ideas, rhythms and even pianistic timbres in unusual ways...."

That's kind of what I meant too.