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Re: Addressing an older student's cognitive decline
Tyrone Slothrop #2889662 09/12/19 08:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Originally Posted by WeakLeftHand
How I wished people would have said something when I started to lose weight like nobody's business. Maybe I would've gotten treatment earlier, and would be in a different place now.

I hope you have gotten treatment now!

I know one couple where the wife either has a serious glandular problem or is anorexic, and I wonder if the husband has ever intervened in any way. Because it just seems terribly wrong. But I must admit, possibly the problem in your case is society as a whole frowns on people commenting on other people's weight, and doubly so if it is a man commenting on a woman's weight.

BTW, my late wife was anorexic. And yes, I intervened multiple times but she was very good at hiding the things she would do to reduce the calorie count to zero. But she ended up dying - anorexia was one of the complicating factors. It's a very difficult problem to address. She was 5'10" tall and under 100 lbs when she died.



I am so sorry to hear that Tyrone. That really must have been difficult on you and your family!



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Re: Addressing an older student's cognitive decline
NobleHouse #2889701 09/12/19 10:31 PM
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Originally Posted by WeakLeftHand
I’m sorry about your late wife. Anorexia is so tough to treat. It’s not like you can throw meds at it.

Yeah. No meds that I know of, at least.

Originally Posted by WeakLeftHand
I’m healthy now. Very grateful for that. smile

That's wonderful to hear! thumb

Originally Posted by KevinM
I'm sorry to hear that, it must have been so tough on all concerned at the time Tyrone.
Originally Posted by NobleHouse
I am so sorry to hear that Tyrone. That really must have been difficult on you and your family!

Thanks. It was especially tough for me because it came shortly after our son died. And I had a 2yo to single-parent. After our son died, she essentially drank herself to death. But her actual death was because her body couldn't handle both the alcohol and anorexia at the same time. A lot of time has passed though - this was 27 years ago...


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"Discipline is more reliable than motivation." -by a contributor on Reddit r/piano
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Re: Addressing an older student's cognitive decline
Tyrone Slothrop #2889768 09/13/19 04:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop
[
Originally Posted by KevinM
I'm sorry to hear that, it must have been so tough on all concerned at the time Tyrone.
Originally Posted by NobleHouse
I am so sorry to hear that Tyrone. That really must have been difficult on you and your family!

Thanks. It was especially tough for me because it came shortly after our son died. And I had a 2yo to single-parent. After our son died, she essentially drank herself to death. But her actual death was because her body couldn't handle both the alcohol and anorexia at the same time. A lot of time has passed though - this was 27 years ago...


I don't really know what to say. Times doesn't really heal, it does however fill your life with other stuff to think about. I just hope you are not hard on yourself in relation to anything about it.

My trite advise so often is, be kind to yourself.

Re: Addressing an older student's cognitive decline
Tyrone Slothrop #2889810 09/13/19 07:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Originally Posted by WeakLeftHand
I’m sorry about your late wife. Anorexia is so tough to treat. It’s not like you can throw meds at it.

Yeah. No meds that I know of, at least.

Originally Posted by WeakLeftHand
I’m healthy now. Very grateful for that. smile

That's wonderful to hear! thumb

Originally Posted by KevinM
I'm sorry to hear that, it must have been so tough on all concerned at the time Tyrone.
Originally Posted by NobleHouse
I am so sorry to hear that Tyrone. That really must have been difficult on you and your family!

Thanks. It was especially tough for me because it came shortly after our son died. And I had a 2yo to single-parent. After our son died, she essentially drank herself to death. But her actual death was because her body couldn't handle both the alcohol and anorexia at the same time. A lot of time has passed though - this was 27 years ago...

This is a heartbreaking story. I can hardly imagine your state at that time. I guess it was your little child who helped you to live.

Re: Addressing an older student's cognitive decline
Iaroslav Vasiliev #2889841 09/13/19 08:39 AM
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Originally Posted by KevinM
I don't really know what to say. Times doesn't really heal, it does however fill your life with other stuff to think about. I just hope you are not hard on yourself in relation to anything about it.

My trite advise so often is, be kind to yourself.
Originally Posted by Iaroslav Vasiliev
This is a heartbreaking story. I can hardly imagine your state at that time. I guess it was your little child who helped you to live.

Thanks. Time has helped both of us. I do remember sitting down in a playground and having to explain to my daughter how mommy had gone to heaven to take care of her brother, when she asked me when mommy would be back... yep. True.

But with regard to anorexia, I am convinced to this day that it was her profession and its pressures. That profession is a lot more forgiving today than it was 27 years ago.


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across the stone, deathless piano performances

"Discipline is more reliable than motivation." -by a contributor on Reddit r/piano
"Success is 10% inspiration, and 90% perspiration." -by some other wise person
"Pianoteq manages to keep it all together yet simultaneously also go in all directions; like a quantum particle entangled with an unknown and spooky parallel universe simply waiting to be discovered." -by Pete14
Re: Addressing an older student's cognitive decline
Tyrone Slothrop #2889884 09/13/19 10:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop
I do remember sitting down in a playground and having to explain to my daughter how mommy had gone to heaven to take care of her brother, when she asked me when mommy would be back... yep. True.


Ouch. I can't think of anything more terrible than that.


Austin Rogers, PhD
Music Teacher in Cedar Park, TX
Baldwin SD-10 Concert Grand "Kuroneko"
Re: Addressing an older student's cognitive decline
Tyrone Slothrop #2890035 09/13/19 04:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Originally Posted by KevinM
I don't really know what to say. Times doesn't really heal, it does however fill your life with other stuff to think about. I just hope you are not hard on yourself in relation to anything about it.

My trite advise so often is, be kind to yourself.
Originally Posted by Iaroslav Vasiliev
This is a heartbreaking story. I can hardly imagine your state at that time. I guess it was your little child who helped you to live.

Thanks. Time has helped both of us. I do remember sitting down in a playground and having to explain to my daughter how mommy had gone to heaven to take care of her brother, when she asked me when mommy would be back... yep. True.

But with regard to anorexia, I am convinced to this day that it was her profession and its pressures. That profession is a lot more forgiving today than it was 27 years ago.



This tugs at my heart just reading this!



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Re: Addressing an older student's cognitive decline
u38cg #2890384 09/14/19 05:47 PM
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I am a person with cognitive impairment. I've recently discovered that logging each and every practice is very helpful. By writing down what day I practiced on, what I did and how I feel I did I am finally able to move forward with piano. I don't remember from one day to the next what I've done, but can now remember to write it down! Invaluable. I can't even begin to express how much a difference this is making.

So my point is, whether you want to say something or not, little things like logging every practice makes a big difference. Perhaps you could try similar things? Best of luck to you and your student. I hope you find a solution that helps.


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Re: Addressing an older student's cognitive decline
u38cg #2895201 09/28/19 01:35 PM
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Oh, I have not an answer.

I have taken up playing at memory care facility, and am learning how to re-direct the residents so they do not "realize" how much they have declined/forgotten.

same corny jokes get fresh new laughter. I joke that I get my own kids' names messed up. I thank them for letting me play, because I miss my grandfather. I thank them for "helping" me learn older songs, and singing along so I can know them better.

It is too harsh to constantly remind them, "You have been told. Don't you remember? etc..."

so, OP, maintain a professional relationship. If they initiate, then have a brief conversation.

Keep a simple assignment notebook/checklist/reminder for him to use.
I am sorry.

(And to the poster that lost a child and a wife- I am so sorry for your loss. There is literally not a word int the English language that I know of that means "lost a child.")(My daughter died years ago.)


Learning as I teach.
Re: Addressing an older student's cognitive decline
missbelle #2895262 09/28/19 05:23 PM
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Originally Posted by missbelle
(My daughter died years ago.)

I'm very sorry about your loss.


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across the stone, deathless piano performances

"Discipline is more reliable than motivation." -by a contributor on Reddit r/piano
"Success is 10% inspiration, and 90% perspiration." -by some other wise person
"Pianoteq manages to keep it all together yet simultaneously also go in all directions; like a quantum particle entangled with an unknown and spooky parallel universe simply waiting to be discovered." -by Pete14
Re: Addressing an older student's cognitive decline
u38cg #2895336 09/28/19 09:31 PM
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Not sure if this means the start of something more serious down the line. If you think it is an issue of dementia, you need to raise it upfront and possibly suggest he/she get a diagnosis from the family doctor. Don't leave the problems untreated or may lead to more frustrations for both of you further down the line. You may try sending reminders (voice call, text or Email) the day before a lesson for the time being.

Re: Addressing an older student's cognitive decline
u38cg #2903113 10/22/19 01:42 PM
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I too am so sorry to hear about your losses. I hope that there is peace somewhere in your life.

re cognitive issues:

My 85 year old father is in a similar situation. I wish we had done more earlier.

1. heart problems - agree 100% that some mental fog may be due to that. I would get right in to see the cardiologist, and wouldn't take "no" for an answer that there is nothing to do. We finally got my Dad a procedure, with good impact on his energy level.

2. memory - there are now some memory preserving drugs (Rivastagine is the one I know about) that can slow or preserve, but can't bring back, memory. So if they are appropriate (counter indicated for some heart drugs) its useful to get them early.

3. hearing - deteriorating hearing can make everything worse. could be the need for a hearing aid, could just be the need to remove multiple layers of wax from the ears, but it makes a difference.

4. whoever said "be kind" has it spot on. We are all in this together, and we will all be in this position sooner or later, and will be very grateful for people who take us as we are now, not as we once were, or as we might become later.

5. support the family. cognitive decline is still viewed with stigma. If they're trying to help the person stay active and involved, make it as easy as you can for them.

6. definitely if there are things to do to help remind the person, do it. check lists, reminders - all help.

Last edited by Medved1; 10/22/19 01:44 PM.

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