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One suggestion -- and I'm not sure if it's a suggestion about the composing or about the playing! .....I mean, if this weren't your own piece, the way I'd put it is, "Take a closer look at the score -- you're probably ignoring some dynamic or expressive indications."
The loudness of the accompaniment in the left hand during the first part of the piece has a couple of problems. First, it takes away from the basic gracefulness of the music. Even if you mean it to be somewhat intense (which is how you're making it sound), it's still basically graceful music, and the loudness of the accompaniment undoes that a lot.
Secondly, it takes away from the effect of the end part. It makes the end part sound more like 'more of the same' than how I'm sure you mean it to be.
Going along with Marc_C's suggestion. I think it would help, when you re-record this, if you make the second and third beats in the left hand softer. You're playing all the left hand beats with equal volume and they do, as Mark wrote, drown out the right hand. Moreover, you could give more shape and direction to the piece if you worked on the dynamics of the left hand: not just softer, but with more shape.