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Re: Hurt Feelings
dmd #2793161 12/19/18 05:41 PM
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Originally Posted by dmd
Originally Posted by Downhill_Fast
Originally Posted by Lillith
To the OP
That's disgraceful - just a way of putting you down.
A spouse's job should be to build you up, not put you down.
I just wouldn't put up with a spouse who made himself feel good by putting you down - that's not on, but if you think about it he's probably been doing it in little ways for ever.
Possibly 'disguised' as a joke.

Ditch the spouse and get a cat.


Originally Posted by Hanlon's Razor
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.


Honestly, OP's husband's comment is exactly the kind of thing that I would say. The thing is, I would be saying it to myself out loud, marveling at my own ignorance when it came to differentiating between my spouse and a professional recording. I would think the joke was on me, and I would expect to share a small chuckle with my spouse about how daft I am, not realizing until my spouse stalked off that it could also have been taken as a cutting criticism of her playing. So, Hanlon's Razor: I'm not an intentional or envious jerk, I'm simply a bit socially obtuse at times!



Well, here is something completely off topic ….but it is driving me crazy.

Maybe someone else can resolve this …..

There is a quote shown above as posted by Hanlon's Razor.

I have looked for that posting in a previous post and absolutely cannot find it.

And … in addition to that …. I looked up Hanlon's Razor in the User List and it is not there.

Mystery.

Can anyone help me out on this ?

I think the poster was invoking Hanlon's Razor:
Quote
Hanlon's razor is an aphorism expressed in various ways, including: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. It suggests a way of eliminating unlikely explanations ("attributions") for human behavior and its consequences.


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Re: Hurt Feelings
Downhill_Fast #2793167 12/19/18 05:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Downhill_Fast
Originally Posted by dmd


Well, here is something completely off topic ….but it is driving me crazy.

Maybe someone else can resolve this …..

There is a quote shown above as posted by Hanlon's Razor.

I have looked for that posting in a previous post and absolutely cannot find it.

And … in addition to that …. I looked up Hanlon's Razor in the User List and it is not there.

Mystery.

Can anyone help me out on this ?



grin ha
Well, okay, it was a joke. blush Or--maybe dmd was trying to trip me up. Yup, that must be it.


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Re: Hurt Feelings
Stubbie #2793182 12/19/18 06:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Stubbie
Well, okay, it was a joke. blush Or--maybe dmd was trying to trip me up. Yup, that must be it.


I honestly have no idea so I err'd on the side of, uh... making the thread more lighthearted laugh


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Re: Hurt Feelings
Downhill_Fast #2793197 12/19/18 07:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Downhill_Fast
Originally Posted by Stubbie
Well, okay, it was a joke. blush Or--maybe dmd was trying to trip me up. Yup, that must be it.


I honestly have no idea so I err'd on the side of, uh... making the thread more lighthearted laugh
No, I think you're quite correct. smile An alternative response that came to mind was Oops, it was a joke and it flew over my head. I guess that makes me stu...... No, let's not go there. laugh


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Re: Hurt Feelings
DutchTea #2793210 12/19/18 07:54 PM
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This is why I often play my digital when my husband is home, lol. He's not a jerk (that much lol), he's just never played an instrument and has no clue what learning and practicing are all about. And sometimes he's been known to say dumb things.

People can be stupid, even our significant others. Tell him it bothered you and ask him not to make any more flippant comments, thank you very much!


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Re: Hurt Feelings
DutchTea #2793236 12/19/18 09:12 PM
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Love the idea of Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

And having been on both the giving and receiving end of dumb jokes that went flop, yeah, easiest to call it what it is, try to avoid it in the future, apologize if indicated, and move on.

Give and take. My significant other is decent (after instruction) on complimenting, but has rebelled 100% against Beethoven because "it's too gloomy". I think Beethoven should be more upset about that than I am, but I am trying to learn the Beethoven when everyone else is out of the house.

Not trying to tell the OP what to do, just saying that if there is a suspicion of a joke gone wrong, that's a fairly easy fix. If it's something more serious, then of course what I'm writing doesn't apply.


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Re: Hurt Feelings
Downhill_Fast #2793263 12/19/18 10:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Downhill_Fast
grin ha


Ok … LOL … You got me.

But now I am curious ….


How do you get it to say [Originally posted by ….etc ….] with a dark bar on top of the quote ?

It looked authentic to me.

Are you just using your knowledge of html code to do that ?


Don

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Re: Hurt Feelings
dmd #2793269 12/19/18 11:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Santa Claus
Originally Posted by Downhill_Fast
grin ha


HO HO HO ...



Well, never mind. I see it is quite easy.


Don

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Re: Hurt Feelings
thepianoplayer416 #2793275 12/19/18 11:34 PM
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Originally Posted by thepianoplayer416
. . .

Fortunately I'm playing with a music group. Whenever we have get-togethers like before Christmas, somebody would be at the piano and someone else would be singing sort of thing. Of course we all want the people closest to us to appreciate our music playing but not everybody is into music. At least I have a group of like-minded people that I socialize with regularly.
. . .
.


Join a choir! That's one place you'll be surrounded by people who love to make music.


. Charles
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Re: Hurt Feelings
DutchTea #2793349 12/20/18 07:34 AM
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Originally Posted by DutchTea
... I have a book I am using that has a cd of the music. It helps me to know what how the piece is supposed to sound. Well, I started one of the songs and he came up the stairs right at that moment and said with laughter, 'I thought, wow, she's doing a lot better!' I didn't even know what to say at that point. I just closed up the piano and went somewhere to cry for a bit...


We can't know with certainty that the laughter by Mr. DutchTea was necessarily of the mocking or derisive type - we don't know for sure since we weren't there to hear or witness it - it could just as easily have been a self-conscious laughing at himself because he innocently, but mistakenly, assumed that the pianist he heard playing as he ascended the steps was Mrs. DutchTea, and so felt slightly embarrassed...such a semi-comical situation would probably have engendered amused laughter by both spouses in most marriages, with the wife saying, for instance, "That was a recording by a professional of the piece I'm trying to learn dummy, but I'll sound pretty much like that soon enough, and then I'll have the last laugh! So, stick that in your stinkin' pipe..."

But, without knowing more about the circumstances of this incident, or the marital relationship in general, it may be a gross injustice to find Mr. DutchTea guilty of nastiness, or deliberate insult or any other negative intention - the traditional principle of "due process" requires that he be considered innocent until absolutely proven otherwise, and that in all fairness he be given the benefit of the doubt. Just maybe there's the outside possibility that he's the one who has been wrongly charged here and needs compassion and a certain degree of exoneration.

Also, it should be firmly kept in mind that, in spite of the efforts of modern hard-core feminists to have us all believe otherwise, men are not the only gender capable of insensitivity or of making dumb, hurtful, insulting remarks...



Last edited by Handyman; 12/20/18 07:38 AM.

John

"Difficulties deferred and challenges unmet will eventually return with a vengeance to bite one in the butt." (paraphrasing Chopin)
Re: Hurt Feelings
Handyman #2793350 12/20/18 07:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Handyman
Also, it should be firmly kept in mind that, in spite of the efforts of modern hard-core feminists to have us all believe otherwise, men are not the only gender capable of insensitivity or of making dumb, hurtful, insulting remarks...

Ugh. frown


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Re: Hurt Feelings
Tyrone Slothrop #2793352 12/20/18 07:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Originally Posted by Handyman
Also, it should be firmly kept in mind that, in spite of the efforts of modern hard-core feminists to have us all believe otherwise, men are not the only gender capable of insensitivity or of making dumb, hurtful, insulting remarks...

Ugh. frown


I think most common sense people know that any gender sadly, is capable of making insensitive remarks...



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Re: Hurt Feelings
NobleHouse #2793374 12/20/18 09:11 AM
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Originally Posted by NobleHouse
Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Originally Posted by Handyman
Also, it should be firmly kept in mind that, in spite of the efforts of modern hard-core feminists to have us all believe otherwise, men are not the only gender capable of insensitivity or of making dumb, hurtful, insulting remarks...

Ugh. frown


I think most common sense people know that any gender sadly, is capable of making insensitive remarks...


Yes, especially men smile.


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Re: Hurt Feelings
DutchTea #2793381 12/20/18 09:39 AM
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As a somewhat radical proposal I think that - in the interest of fairness - Mr. DutchTea should be offered the opportunity to come on here and tell his side of the story - it's only right and just that he be given a chance to be heard from and defend himself, if indeed any real defense is actually needed - or possible (as the case may be). Mr. DutchTea?


John

"Difficulties deferred and challenges unmet will eventually return with a vengeance to bite one in the butt." (paraphrasing Chopin)
Re: Hurt Feelings
cmb13 #2793382 12/20/18 09:39 AM
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Originally Posted by cmb13
Originally Posted by NobleHouse
Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Originally Posted by Handyman
Also, it should be firmly kept in mind that, in spite of the efforts of modern hard-core feminists to have us all believe otherwise, men are not the only gender capable of insensitivity or of making dumb, hurtful, insulting remarks...

Ugh. frown


I think most common sense people know that any gender sadly, is capable of making insensitive remarks...


Yes, especially men smile.


PEOPLE can do insensitive things, period. How about if we stay away from making this gender specific. It is only going to lead to contention and getting the topic closed. Hint-hint.


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Re: Hurt Feelings
DutchTea #2793386 12/20/18 09:46 AM
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And as my contribution to the topic, I should say, "Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity:.

Communication is everything. While, in my humble opinion, it is ok to talk about it on here, if you have not talked to him about it I would suggest doing so. Perhaps that will solve everything..


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Re: Hurt Feelings
Ken Knapp #2793389 12/20/18 09:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Ken Knapp
Originally Posted by cmb13
Originally Posted by NobleHouse
Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Originally Posted by Handyman
Also, it should be firmly kept in mind that, in spite of the efforts of modern hard-core feminists to have us all believe otherwise, men are not the only gender capable of insensitivity or of making dumb, hurtful, insulting remarks...

Ugh. frown


I think most common sense people know that any gender sadly, is capable of making insensitive remarks...


Yes, especially men smile.


PEOPLE can do insensitive things, period. How about if we stay away from making this gender specific. It is only going to lead to contention and getting the topic closed. Hint-hint.


Just a tongue-in-cheek joke, Ken, from a fellow male. Self-gender-deprecating. Truth is this thread has probably run its course anyway though!


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Re: Hurt Feelings
cmb13 #2793440 12/20/18 01:04 PM
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Originally Posted by cmb13
...

Truth is this thread has probably run its course anyway though!


Yes, but only if Mr. DutchTea doesn't show up - if he does then we could enjoy another lengthy and fun-filled run...


John

"Difficulties deferred and challenges unmet will eventually return with a vengeance to bite one in the butt." (paraphrasing Chopin)
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