Welcome to the Piano World Piano Forums
Over 2.7 million posts about pianos, digital pianos, and all types of keyboard instruments
Join the World's Largest Community of Piano Lovers (it's free)
It's Fun to Play the Piano ... Please Pass It On!

SEARCH
Piano Forums & Piano World
(ad)
Best of Piano Buyer
 Best of Piano Buyer
(ad)
Piano Life Saver - Dampp Chaser
Dampp Chaser Piano Life Saver
Find a Professional
Our Classified Ads
Find Piano Professionals-

*Piano Dealers - Piano Stores
*Piano Tuners
*Piano Teachers
*Piano Movers
*Piano Restorations
*Piano Manufacturers

Advertise on Piano World

(ad)
Accu-Tuner
Sanderson Accu-Tuner
Who's Online Now
85 registered members (AndrewJCW, accordeur, achoo42, 36251, amyram, Bett, AndyP, anotherscott, 25 invisible), 1,556 guests, and 9 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
(ad)
Estonia Pianos
Estonia Pianos
Quick Links to Useful Piano & Music Resources
Quick Links:
*Advertise On Piano World
*Free Piano Newsletter
*Online Piano Recitals
*Piano Recitals Index
*Piano & Music Accessories
*Live Piano Venues
*Music School Listings
* Buying a Piano
*Buying A Acoustic Piano
*Buying a Digital Piano
*Pianos for Sale
*Sell Your Piano
*How Old is My Piano?
*Directory/Site Map
*Virtual Piano
*Music Word Search
*Piano Videos
*Virtual Piano Chords & Scales
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Hop To
Page 3 of 3 1 2 3
Re: Should I say goodbye? [Re: eyeluvlucy] #2746748
06/24/18 03:21 PM
06/24/18 03:21 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 12,642
Georgia, USA
Rickster Online content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
Rickster  Online Content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 12,642
Georgia, USA
Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop
I knew a couple who used this in practice in their relationship - I am friends with the husband. They would never acknowledge anything was wrong with the other party and would go on as if nothing ever happened. They are divorced now.

Well, I don't think the OP and their piano teacher were married or in a romantic relationship, but I see your point.

I honestly think this thread has more or less reached the end of it's usefulness for the OP, but that is just my opinion.

Carry on...

Rick


Piano enthusiast and amateur musician: "Treat others the way you would like to be treated". Yamaha C7. YouTube Channel
(ad)
Piano & Music Accessories
piano accessories music gifts tuning and moving equipment
Re: Should I say goodbye? [Re: eyeluvlucy] #2746778
06/24/18 07:37 PM
06/24/18 07:37 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 409
west central MA
G
gingko2 Offline
Full Member
gingko2  Offline
Full Member
G

Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 409
west central MA
Good teachers are hard to find. If you like how you've been taught the last year, I'd go back.

After you go back, if it seems necessary or even helpful, have a brief talk--but only then. Lots of things are smoothed over by time. If you actually do return it will be obvious to your teacher that you weren't just blowing him off.

I'd probably say, "Sorry I disrupted our schedule. Piano is important to me but my job demands were just overwhelming....." or something like that. That's me. You have to respond as is what's natural and true to you. You may be over-thinking/over-reacting to all this, but it's hard to tell from a post.

Again I wouldn't give up a good teacher because of an interaction as you described.


[Linked Image][Linked Image]

Charles Walter 1500, Kawai CA63
Re: Should I say goodbye? [Re: eyeluvlucy] #2746818
06/24/18 10:59 PM
06/24/18 10:59 PM
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,263
Toronto, Ontario
P
Peter K. Mose Online content
2000 Post Club Member
Peter K. Mose  Online Content
2000 Post Club Member
P

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,263
Toronto, Ontario
I'm a teacher whose studio consists of mostly adult amateur pianists. That doesn't make my views any more perceptive than those I've already read here. But I'll give my reaction anyway: the OP made no mention of how lessons are paid for. Per lesson; per month; per quarter; per semester, etc. My guess is that it's either per lesson or per month. Nor did the OP make any mention of whether their teacher has a policy statement that covers the suspending of lessons, or the ending of lessons.

In any case, suddenly Mr. Fine Piano Teacher learns at a weekly lesson that this adult student has unilaterally decided to withdraw for the coming month - due to work demands - and then intends to return to piano lessons a month later. IOW, he is suddenly losing a month of income, with a week or two of advance notice. And our OP is upset that he doesn't seem to be warm and fuzzy and supportive about this withdrawal, and elated about their return a month later!

Well, I'm guessing Mr. Fine Piano Teacher feels pushed around. That's how I would feel. Or maybe he's conflicted: he would like to be warm and fuzzy and supportive, but he is reminded yet again that students are not committed, and that piano teaching is a lousy way to earn a living - like his parents warned him 30 years ago, and as his ex-wife reminded him on her way out the door twelve years ago. Maybe he is mad at himself for not drafting a studio policy statement that might have avoided this issue.

The simple remedy - as at least one poster has suggested - is just to keep coming for lessons next month, despite little practice. Or else hand Mr. Fine Piano Teacher a check in advance for the missed lessons, with sincere thanks and a hope that one's same lesson slot can be maintained upon return.

Re: Should I say goodbye? [Re: eyeluvlucy] #2746911
06/25/18 09:55 AM
06/25/18 09:55 AM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 5,162
W
wouter79 Offline
5000 Post Club Member
wouter79  Offline
5000 Post Club Member
W

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 5,162
He was not supportive and seemed annoyed by me. Now when I go for lessons I feel different. ... . I think ................

I didn't read all the replies. But it seems like you're over-projecting your own ideas on what he thinks. Is there any objective information that anything changed except your mind? Why are you so bothered that you need to take a break? It's a hobby, but it sounds like you have an obligation.


[Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image]
Re: Should I say goodbye? [Re: Peter K. Mose] #2746922
06/25/18 10:34 AM
06/25/18 10:34 AM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 17,207
Canada
keystring Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
keystring  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 17,207
Canada
Peter, an excellent post giving us much needed perspective. I'd like to combine it with another thought, and would love your confirmation if right (and corrections if not). Here it is:

Often we adult students, the conscientious ones, think our teachers expect us to consistently produce good work. If we practised 90 minutes/day every day, then we must always do 90 minutes/day, thereby producing the quality and quantity of work that comes out of that 90 min/day. If an impending work glut will prevent me from producing much, then I "owe it" to my teacher to stop lessons so as to not "waste his time" as well as "disappoint" him - so I "take the responsibility" of suspending my lessons. I'm thinking that you will want to correct these assumptions as follows:

The "produced good work, in the same quantity and quality" ---- that is not what a good teacher is after ultimately. It's not the pieces themselves, but the growth and learning. For that, and to do his job, this teacher will need to be regularly engaged in the student's tasks by observing and guiding every week (if lessons are weekly). This keeps him on top of what is happening, so he can do his job well. It also helps him head things off the pass if his student's practising is moving in the wrong direction: fixing poor habits or wrong ideas that have crept in and become entrenched is awful. If his student manages to practise only 15 min./day during the work glut, that is enough. He can also be teaching other things during that time, which don't depend on what has been practised. Am I more or less correct with this view?

There is also the sudden cut in income for the month(s) of absence, which is not trivial. With the student promising to come back, you can't even fill the slot should you be lucky enough for a promising new student to show up (or you may have a waiting list) - with the added uncertainty of students saying "I'll be back" often never reappearing. You seem to agree with the idea of the cheque for the month of absence to keep the slot open. I'm thinking a confirmation two weeks before the month of return, an e-mail "Dear Mr. Teacher, I'm looking forward to returning to my lessons the first week of (month) as we arranged." - some kind of reassurance so he's not up in the air - what do you think?

Though it appears that NOT cutting off lessons for a month is the best action. If "producing good playing from lotsa good practising" is not a priority for the teacher, then maybe this would work.

"Unilateral" --- You used that word. I've seen a lot of one-sided decision making on both sides since first starting to work with teachers: communication is difficult, and communication is probably key.

Re: Should I say goodbye? [Re: eyeluvlucy] #2746935
06/25/18 12:11 PM
06/25/18 12:11 PM
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,263
Toronto, Ontario
P
Peter K. Mose Online content
2000 Post Club Member
Peter K. Mose  Online Content
2000 Post Club Member
P

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,263
Toronto, Ontario
Keystring, your post is more thoughtful than mine, and says so much of importance. Yes, so often adult students feel they are letting the teacher down in their seeming lack of progress, or by some weeks of lesser practice. They seldom see their own progress - which we see better, precisely because they don't come for lessons every day! - and we don't usually have this sense of impatience with a student's progress they themselves may have. Indeed, half of our teaching work is trying to undo that sense of impatience or lack of progress.

I often say that I'm an inexpensive psychotherapist.

Re: Should I say goodbye? [Re: keystring] #2746937
06/25/18 12:14 PM
06/25/18 12:14 PM
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,263
Toronto, Ontario
P
Peter K. Mose Online content
2000 Post Club Member
Peter K. Mose  Online Content
2000 Post Club Member
P

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,263
Toronto, Ontario
Originally Posted by keystring

I'm thinking a confirmation two weeks before the month of return, an e-mail "Dear Mr. Teacher, I'm looking forward to returning to my lessons the first week of (month) as we arranged." - some kind of reassurance so he's not up in the air - what do you think?


Sure. If there's a strong relationship between teacher and adult student, they might be in touch during that month anyway. Four weeks go by fast in any case.

Last edited by Peter K. Mose; 06/25/18 12:14 PM.
Re: Should I say goodbye? [Re: eyeluvlucy] #2746938
06/25/18 12:18 PM
06/25/18 12:18 PM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 88
M
mostlystrings Offline
Full Member
mostlystrings  Offline
Full Member
M

Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 88
Completely agree with Peter even though I teach children exclusively.

Earlier in my teaching days, before I realized what "taking a break" meant, I had a family leave for their month-long trip overseas, then didn't come back. I would rather they have just said they were stopping. Another time, someone wanted to "try out a new teacher for a semester" - as if they wanted to soften the blow by giving hope that they would come back. (Being more experienced by that point, I actually saw it coming from months away and also knew it take it as a clean break.)

Also, "change in work schedule" or generic "scheduling difficulty" is a common explanation when the student (or parent) wants a new teacher. Apparently no one likes to actually say it. By the time someone says or implies that they are on the way out, I do not try to change their mind because if they had wanted my input on overcoming challenges, they should have said so. Lesson content/focus will change slightly in the last few weeks but I wouldn't (don't) change my attitude/demeanor towards them.

I've had students who take their summer break and come back as agreed. There was even someone who had an extended trip a few months ago who repeatedly made sure I knew they would keep paying for their spot. Still, there are enough who do the things like above that my default position is to be wary and not let myself be "strung along". The OP's explanation raises several red flags, whether intentionally or not, and if s/he follows through with "I am seriously considering just not returning to lessons. Even though I planned on returning the following month. I think he feels that was my intent all along." - that will reinforce the typical negative example.

Last edited by mostlystrings; 06/25/18 12:22 PM.
Re: Should I say goodbye? [Re: Peter K. Mose] #2746948
06/25/18 01:07 PM
06/25/18 01:07 PM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 17,207
Canada
keystring Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
keystring  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 17,207
Canada
Originally Posted by Peter K. Mose
Originally Posted by keystring

I'm thinking a confirmation two weeks before the month of return, an e-mail "Dear Mr. Teacher, I'm looking forward to returning to my lessons the first week of (month) as we arranged." - some kind of reassurance so he's not up in the air - what do you think?


Sure. If there's a strong relationship between teacher and adult student, they might be in touch during that month anyway. Four weeks go by fast in any case.

Thanks, Peter.

What about my main two paragraphs, where in one I wrote of students' suppositions, and in the next I suggested how a teacher might see these instead? Was this on track or totally off track? (This was actually my main idea.)

Last edited by keystring; 06/25/18 01:08 PM.
Re: Should I say goodbye? [Re: malkin] #2747088
06/25/18 11:15 PM
06/25/18 11:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 17,019
Boynton Beach, FL
Morodiene Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member
Morodiene  Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 17,019
Boynton Beach, FL
Originally Posted by malkin
I've been with the same teacher for--I don't even remember how many years! 5? 7? something, I've had times where I've been completely swamped at work, but not out of town. During these times, I have continued lessons, and muddled through with somewhat less than stellar preparation. Even when I am unprepared, the teacher makes good use of the time, and after each lesson, I am happy to have had the experience. When work is overwhelming, piano practice turns out to be a welcome break for me.

Hang in there.


Exactly. IMO, a lack of practicing is no reason to not have lessons. In fact, I would argue you need lessons the most when that happens.


private piano/voice teacher FT

[Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image]
[Linked Image]
Page 3 of 3 1 2 3

Moderated by  BB Player 

(ad)
Pianoteq
PianoTeq Bechstein
Shop our Store for Music Lovers!
PianoSupplies.com is Piano World's Online Store
Please visit our store today.
(ad)
Faust Harrison Pianos
Faust Harrison 100+ Steinway pianos
New Topics - Multiple Forums
Diatonic Harmony in Piano by Kent Hewitt
by RhodesFanatic. 10/15/19 09:09 PM
Help Identify this piano
by Xenolith. 10/15/19 08:26 PM
What is this piece?
by pianoloverus. 10/15/19 07:53 PM
Heintzman & Co. project opinion
by D.P.. 10/15/19 05:56 PM
Playing by ear
by KuroMisaka. 10/15/19 02:47 PM
What's Hot!!
Our August Newsletter is Out!
------------------
Mason & Hamlin Piano Factory Tour!

-------------------
Posting Pictures on the Forums
-------------------
Forums RULES & HELP
-------------------
ADVERTISE on Piano World
Forum Statistics
Forums41
Topics194,540
Posts2,879,531
Members94,681
Most Online15,252
Mar 21st, 2010
Please Support Our Advertisers


Faust Harrison 100+ Steinways

Dampp Chaser Piano Life Saver

 Best of Piano Buyer

PianoTeq Bechstein
Visit our online store for gifts for music lovers


 
Help keep the forums up and running with a donation, any amount is appreciated!
Or by becoming a Subscribing member! Thank-you.
Donate   Subscribe
 
Our Piano Related Classified Ads
| Dealers | Tuners | Lessons | Movers | Restorations | Pianos For Sale | Sell Your Piano |

Advertise on Piano World
| Subscribe | Piano World | PianoSupplies.com | Advertise on Piano World |
| |Contact | Privacy | Legal | About Us | Site Map | Free Newsletter |


copyright 1997 - 2019 Piano World ® all rights reserved
No part of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.1