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Withdrawal-Depression
#2726964 04/06/18 01:40 PM
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Busy week.

I only got about 15 min practice time on Wed, as my daughter wanted me to watch a show with her after work. Thursday, after another long day at work, my son and I went to volunteer for our local youth basketball organization. We didn't get home until 9:30, at which point I spent a few minutes hanging out with my wife before bed. I sat down for literally 5 min practicing one small section of one piece.

These were both great, productive days, but it's quite depressing and stressful to me when I can't get in some meaningful piano time. It's on my mind most of the evening; I feel as though it's a commitment that I can't fulfill, as if I'm letting someone (the piano) down. Maybe I'm just a little obsessive....okay, I'm almost definitely a little obsessive....but I just can't continue to have life interfering with my practice!

(Said a little lightly)


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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
cmb13 #2726979 04/06/18 02:27 PM
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I don't honestly know if it's true, but I'm told repeatedly that even if I can squeak 5 minutes of playing a piece in every day it's better than missing a day completely. I know how you feel though, I look forward to my hour or two a day of practice and really miss it when I can't or can only manage a song or two. I spent some time thinking about why this is. What it comes down to is that I regret not learning to play until I was in my late 40's. I am keenly aware now that my time on this earth is limited. If I plan to get near to playing the way I want to play, it's going to take a lot of consistency and dedication. The more hours I miss playing, the farther that goal goes and the chance I'll reach it diminishes. It's my midlife existential crisis I guess.


Now learning: Chopin C# minor Nocturne (posth) and C minor Prelude (big chords), Mozart Sonata in C K. 545
Instruments: Yamaha N1X, Kawai ES110, Roland GO:PIANO
Re: Withdrawal-Depression
cmb13 #2726984 04/06/18 02:32 PM
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We all face the same struggle. Piano is not our first priority in life. We need to make a list of priority and act according to the list. Sometimes, we have to say no to someone or better just say: "Yes my dear, I'll be there after my piano practice.”



“To send light into the darkness of men’s hearts - such is the duty of the artist.”
- Robert Schumann

Re: Withdrawal-Depression
cmb13 #2726987 04/06/18 02:35 PM
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I assume you plan in some time for yourself? Next week it will be better?


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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
cmb13 #2726994 04/06/18 03:10 PM
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Don't feel badly, I had to sit down and actually write myself up a daily schedule that includes at least an hour of piano and often lets me get in about an hour and a half. Before that, I had similar issues to yours. It's hard to find time! I juggle a lot of duties every day and, for me, drawing up a schedule worked wonders. Then again, I'm pretty regimented in other things, too, like drawing up our household budgets, so I'm used to working this way. See what you can come up with that looks reasonable to you, share it with your family, and see what happens! smile

I'm an introvert, so I basically live by these words:

"To protect your energy....
It's OK to cancel a commitment.
It's OK to not answer that call.
It's OK to change your mind,
It's OK to want to be alone.
It's OK to take a day off.
It's OK to do nothing.
It's OK to speak up.
It's OK to let go."


Lisa

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"I tell my piano the things I used to tell you." - Frederic Chopin
Re: Withdrawal-Depression
cmb13 #2726997 04/06/18 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted by cmb13
Busy week.

I only got about 15 min practice time on Wed, as my daughter wanted me to watch a show with her after work. Thursday, after another long day at work, my son and I went to volunteer for our local youth basketball organization. We didn't get home until 9:30, at which point I spent a few minutes hanging out with my wife before bed. I sat down for literally 5 min practicing one small section of one piece.

These were both great, productive days, but it's quite depressing and stressful to me when I can't get in some meaningful piano time. It's on my mind most of the evening; I feel as though it's a commitment that I can't fulfill, as if I'm letting someone (the piano) down. Maybe I'm just a little obsessive....okay, I'm almost definitely a little obsessive....but I just can't continue to have life interfering with my practice!

(Said a little lightly)
There's good stress and there's bad stress. Good stress (imo) falls under the banner of 'drive' and is generally self-generated. When we are passionate about something, we are driven to pursue that goal. When that passion and drive steam-rolls our loved ones, then we're headed for danger in the bad stress zone.

You did the right thing. You spent time with your daughter, your son, and your wife. The benefits from that will be felt for who knows how long. Your piano, on the other hand, is a cold fish. It doesn't give a fig!

You will make up the lost practice time another day and be none the worse for missing a day. The piano, on the other hand, still won't care. smile


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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
cmb13 #2727014 04/06/18 04:01 PM
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A friend of mine has a t-shirt that says:
"I'd love to, but I have to practice."

Words to live by ...

Re: Withdrawal-Depression
EP #2727023 04/06/18 04:29 PM
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Originally Posted by EP
A friend of mine has a t-shirt that says:
"I'd love to, but I have to practice."

Words to live by ...


I would have to disagree.

A man of the "cloth" once said ....I have never heard a death- bed declaration of ... "I wish I had spent more time at the office".

The same might be said of .... "I wish I had practiced more".

Time with friends and family is many times more valuable than time at the piano.

In my opinion, of course.


Don

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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
dmd #2727037 04/06/18 04:58 PM
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Originally Posted by dmd


A man of the "cloth" once said ....I have never heard a death- bed declaration of ... "I wish I had spent more time at the office".

The same might be said of .... "I wish I had practiced more".

Time with friends and family is many times more valuable than time at the piano.


It depends on the kind of friends and family wink . Be careful who you spend time with.......

My profession is notorious for its high rates of stress & burnout. Those of us who 'survive' have learnt methods, like being aware of (and avoiding if possible) 'silent stressors':
1) Stressed people - stress can be contagious.
2) Energy vampires - people who suck energy out of you and don't give it back.
3) Time robbers - people who take a lot of your time.

And strategies to beat stress & burnout include:
1) Energize! - do more, not less. Increase your activities, make time to energize.
2) Find your passion - a hobby, an activity you really love.

Or to put it another way, if your beloved hobby and activity is music and playing the piano, make time for it, and increase it. For the sake of your health.......


"I don't play accurately - anyone can play accurately - but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life."
Re: Withdrawal-Depression
cmb13 #2727040 04/06/18 05:04 PM
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Your best option? Get a digital. I noticed you have a nice Boston, but with a semi decent digital you'll be able to practice when all around you would rather you didn't. Like, at night, or early morning.
I learnt to play Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu (badly) in a week when toothache wouldn't allow me to sleep . . . . .


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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
cmb13 #2727045 04/06/18 05:12 PM
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You can't reclaim lost time. The things you spent your time doing were worth a lot, too. So focus on the positives and forgive yourself for the lapse in piano. You'll get it back. We all go through seasons, and it's all too easy for something that is a love for us like piano study, to become a thing of guilt for us instead.

Forgive yourself and try to schedule a bit more time for yourself next week. smile

Last edited by Morodiene; 04/06/18 05:13 PM.

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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
cmb13 #2727046 04/06/18 05:14 PM
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Ha! Great comments for a light thread!!

Peterws...ironically I sold my Casio Clarinova just a month or so ago. I wasn't using it anymore at all. My piano is in a room isolated enough that it doesn't bother anyone - in my home-office, I can close the double doors, and while not silent, the house is a sprawling ranch, so it doesn't drift to the bedrooms. I really don't miss the digital but I guess I might when I downsize.

Btw just met someone from Yorkshire - is that anywhere near you? She was visiting her father. Said it's about 5 1/2 hrs N of London.


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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
Chrispy #2727048 04/06/18 05:15 PM
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Originally Posted by squidbot
I don't honestly know if it's true, but I'm told repeatedly that even if I can squeak 5 minutes of playing a piece in every day it's better than missing a day completely. I know how you feel though, I look forward to my hour or two a day of practice and really miss it when I can't or can only manage a song or two. I spent some time thinking about why this is. What it comes down to is that I regret not learning to play until I was in my late 40's. I am keenly aware now that my time on this earth is limited. If I plan to get near to playing the way I want to play, it's going to take a lot of consistency and dedication. The more hours I miss playing, the farther that goal goes and the chance I'll reach it diminishes. It's my midlife existential crisis I guess.


Yes, I agree, except that my 5 min usually turns into 45 min smile. I'm getting aware of my time limitations also, at 48 yrs old.


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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
Stubbie #2727050 04/06/18 05:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Stubbie
].............You did the right thing. You spent time with your daughter, your son, and your wife. The benefits from that will be felt for who knows how long. Your piano, on the other hand, is a cold fish. It doesn't give a fig!

You will make up the lost practice time another day and be none the worse for missing a day. The piano, on the other hand, still won't care. smile


Agree with this also.....that time spent w family is time well spent (most of the time - although sometimes I think the piano loves me more than my family does smile.


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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
Morodiene #2727052 04/06/18 05:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Morodiene
You can't reclaim lost time. The things you spent your time doing were worth a lot, too. So focus on the positives and forgive yourself for the lapse in piano. You'll get it back. We all go through seasons, and it's all too easy for something that is a love for us like piano study, to become a thing of guilt for us instead.

Forgive yourself and try to schedule a bit more time for yourself next week. smile


Morodiene, I miss you greatly.....why have you not been hanging out in the ABF lately!!! Your words are always wise.

Anyway, folks, I have no fear that I will make it up mostly this weekend, although I have tennis at 10 tomorrow morning, and a charity gala at 5:30 tomorrow evening so I'll have to squeeze it in between events.

I'm not really going through any serious wdl or depression, but the piano definitely is on my mind when I'm not playing.


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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
cmb13 #2727055 04/06/18 05:34 PM
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Originally Posted by cmb13
Ha! Great comments for a light thread!!

Peterws...ironically I sold my Casio Clarinova just a month or so ago. I wasn't using it anymore at all. My piano is in a room isolated enough that it doesn't bother anyone - in my home-office, I can close the double doors, and while not silent, the house is a sprawling ranch, so it doesn't drift to the bedrooms. I really don't miss the digital but I guess I might when I downsize.

Btw just met someone from Yorkshire - is that anywhere near you? She was visiting her father. Said it's about 5 1/2 hrs N of London.


Yorkshire's our biggest county. Probably 20 miles or so from where I am, but I'm told I live over the wrong side o' the border . . . .a throw back from the War of the Roses.


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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
peterws #2727064 04/06/18 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted by peterws


Yorkshire's our biggest county. Probably 20 miles or so from where I am, but I'm told I live over the wrong side o' the border . . . .a throw back from the War of the Roses.


We were on that other side for years, and then my mother got a hankering to live on your side once she retired. I am glad she did because I have spent many wonderful months wandering around the Herriot countryside. She was based in Richmond. Now I am far away I often spend evenings watching All Creatures Great and Small ... (when I am not watching the Time Team).


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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
pianopi #2727070 04/06/18 07:03 PM
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Originally Posted by pianopi
Originally Posted by peterws


Yorkshire's our biggest county. Probably 20 miles or so from where I am, but I'm told I live over the wrong side o' the border . . . .a throw back from the War of the Roses.


We were on that other side for years, and then my mother got a hankering to live on your side once she retired. I am glad she did because I have spent many wonderful months wandering around the Herriot countryside. She was based in Richmond. Now I am far away I often spend evenings watching All Creatures Great and Small ... (when I am not watching the Time Team).


I betcha your mother lives in my town . . . . many Yorkshire folk retire there! Oh, and the original "All creatures" had a great piano soundtrack. The new series does too, but I'd have to write it down since no music was available for it.

Last edited by peterws; 04/06/18 07:06 PM.

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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
cmb13 #2727071 04/06/18 07:12 PM
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wait .. confused ..I thought you were in Yorkshire..? My mother was a Lancashire lass who, eschewing the red rose, moved over to the other side. She has now thrown off further ties to her heritage and moved even further afield, so she's probably not in your town. She initially retired to Richmond, Yorkshire.


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Re: Withdrawal-Depression
cmb13 #2727075 04/06/18 07:50 PM
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Work nights , so I feel drained most of half the week ,
But, what I got out of this thread is :
1. I wish I could retire , and travel.
or
2.



" I thought to trust in the magic of the Universe" - a European bicyclist beginning his trek around the world.
Cheers!


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