So, a week before a super imortant perf. at a festival, I attempted to make a recording of the toccata.
All in all - when I'm nervous, EVERYTHING in this piece feels like it's on the knife's edge. Each and every section, though well-practiced, is prone to a memory lapse.
And the section I did memory lapse in 3 times in a row, was the one in the middle section, right after the end of the climbing broken chords - where the left hand has descending broken thirds over an ostinato G bass and the right hand plays the theme in g minor. The left hand just suddenly forgot what it was supposed to do.
My teacher, who has always been super calm, was genuinely mad for the first time today. I know I can't afford to mess this up.
But I most probably will!
I wanted to post a recording here on the members recordings forum, and now that's [censored] up.
I just want to tell u guys, that if I should fail this perf, I am going to switch to composition.
Because if my nerves can't handle a piece like this, in a situation like this, then How am I supposed to, for example in the future perform Garpard de la nuit for an audience of 2000?
That ain't gonna happen, ever.