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Away #2487001
12/02/15 11:29 PM
12/02/15 11:29 PM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 65
USA
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roma_10 Offline OP
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roma_10  Offline OP
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Joined: Mar 2007
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USA
Hello PianoWorld,

My is it good to be back after a hiatus so long that all my posts were deleted. Anyway, I'd like to offer up my latest piece for comments and critique. This will eventually become part of a collection inspired by my journey to the west. This piece in particular (hopefully) expresses a sense of restlessness as I try to find the things that complete me in my new life and a bittersweet remembrance of the things that were.

Hope you enjoy it and thanks in advance!

Away - Soundcloud

-Robert

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Re: Away [Re: roma_10] #2487300
12/03/15 11:02 PM
12/03/15 11:02 PM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 16,714
Boynton Beach, FL
Morodiene Offline
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Morodiene  Offline
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Boynton Beach, FL
I really enjoyed this! You actually do some very nice harmonies starting in 0:33, and again on 0:49. I think you may need to introduce something earlier because it was a bit predictable at the beginning and you almost lost my attention. What you did after that was pretty cool, I just needed it to be a bit longer and more dramatic build up in the middle.

I wish it were longer than 1:45. In fact, right at the end you add the 9th to the melody, and I feel like we are just going to get started in something else...then it's over.

If you can think of a way to develop what you have already, you can create a great piece here. wink


private piano/voice teacher FT

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Re: Away [Re: roma_10] #2487314
12/03/15 11:47 PM
12/03/15 11:47 PM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 65
USA
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roma_10 Offline OP
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Thank you, I really appreciate the constructive comments. I'm glad you noticed how the piece ended and it was actually a deliberate decision to leave the listener with a sense that the rest of this story is still unwritten. Thanks again!

Re: Away [Re: roma_10] #2487455
12/04/15 12:18 PM
12/04/15 12:18 PM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 16,714
Boynton Beach, FL
Morodiene Offline
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Morodiene  Offline
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Posts: 16,714
Boynton Beach, FL
Originally Posted by roma_10
Thank you, I really appreciate the constructive comments. I'm glad you noticed how the piece ended and it was actually a deliberate decision to leave the listener with a sense that the rest of this story is still unwritten. Thanks again!


Just to clarify, the ending didn't bother me, and you could still use that same ending. I just think you could expound in the middle more, perhaps using the "ending" as a launchpad for going further, then tacking the current ending on after that. Might have a different effect that you desired, but it's really a shame to use such a great idea to stop the piece when it can offer a lot of material to be developed. smile


private piano/voice teacher FT

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Re: Away [Re: roma_10] #2488680
12/08/15 03:35 AM
12/08/15 03:35 AM
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 270
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stalefleas Offline
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Posts: 270
pretty melodies. i think this is nice overall. i agree with morodiene that the middle part sort of drops out abruptly. feels like an unfinished part. the little bit of added strings/pads/whatever really fills out the sound nicely.

Re: Away [Re: roma_10] #2488866
12/08/15 06:01 PM
12/08/15 06:01 PM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 65
USA
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roma_10 Offline OP
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Thank you stalefleas! And yes it's strings and synth bass courtesy of omnisphere 2, for the curious. smile

Re: Away [Re: Morodiene] #2489681
12/11/15 10:45 AM
12/11/15 10:45 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 131
UK
Phil-60 Offline
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Posts: 131
UK
A lovely composition -I agree with the others about the structure - When you create - a lovely climax in music, the last thing you want to do , is allow the music to sag- - You can repeat the theme, but you can still make it more intense, than when we began the musical journey -you can thicken the texture, make the accompanying rhythm faster. -You can create a new contrapuntal texture. There are many techniques - This also gives you the option of creating a new climax. or breaking the music down, until you are left with the bare bones of the theme -

I hope you keep working at this -it could be up there with the best of Yiruma -

Did you buy Omnisphere when it was already Omni2 -or did you upgrade from 1? I still have version 1 -not that I feel the need for anything more from the software -I have barely scratched the surface of version 1!


Knowledge is power and hard work is essential.
Re: Away [Re: roma_10] #2489751
12/11/15 02:26 PM
12/11/15 02:26 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 191
New Zealand
JonnyJ Offline
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JonnyJ  Offline
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Posts: 191
New Zealand
In terms of the soundscape I think you created the intended ambience/feeling/emotion good job =)!

I like your other pieces which are of a macabre character, someone dying and someone resurrected, emotions dying, emotions resurrected lol...

Re: Away [Re: roma_10] #2490046
12/12/15 03:18 PM
12/12/15 03:18 PM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 152
sweden
L
larryz Offline
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Posts: 152
sweden
I like it! Please post more!

Re: Away [Re: roma_10] #2490470
12/14/15 01:16 AM
12/14/15 01:16 AM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 65
USA
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roma_10 Offline OP
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roma_10  Offline OP
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Posts: 65
USA
Thank you all for your feedback! Phil-60, I purchased Omnisphere 2 directly so I don't have any experience with 1. From what I've heard from others though it's a substantial upgrade. JonnyJ, since you listened to the others, would either be appropriate to post here? This is the most active composition forum I've found but I assumed the compositions should be piano-centric.

Re: Away [Re: roma_10] #2490626
12/14/15 02:40 PM
12/14/15 02:40 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 191
New Zealand
JonnyJ Offline
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JonnyJ  Offline
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Posts: 191
New Zealand
Heyhey Roma yeah go for it! what's the worst that can happen?!

*runs away to a safe area to see what would happen*



Re: Away [Re: roma_10] #2497191
01/04/16 11:05 PM
01/04/16 11:05 PM
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 64
F
Francoisfj Offline
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Posts: 64
That was actually really good, the beginning made me almost loose attention to the piece but then, the harmonies are great. I can sense a lot of feelings in it smile

Re: Away [Re: roma_10] #2497704
01/06/16 02:09 PM
01/06/16 02:09 PM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 65
USA
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roma_10 Offline OP
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Posts: 65
USA
Thank you Francois. I've attached the piano score to this post for anyone who's interested.

Away - piano score


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