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"People might think I'm a weirdo, but a piano needs love. I talk to them, ask them how they've been, ask them if everybody has been treating them right." - Hiromi Uehara, jazz pianist.

I dunno. If I imagine a chat with my piano, it's nothing but a monologue directed squarely at me - a long litany of complaints about being treated with no dignity, being pounded on, cursed at, blamed for my klunkers, walked on by the cat, etc!

The cat part, I get; but as for the rest of it, pianos oughta toughen up, that's all part of their job and they darn well oughta do it without complaint.

At least that's my ^&*(#*)$*#@ opinion.

Ed

Some people (including Royalty ) talk to plants. Helps them to grow, apparently.

Acoustic pianos are made of living wood too, though I believe they'd stopped growing.......

I believe Yamaha's have their souls removed at the factory

I got into an argument with my piano and now it won't talk to me. Flowers didn't work. Should I try chocolates?

Enjoy.

It's definitely worth trying.

I've noticed that my (digital) piano responds to my touch better when I've got a box of gourmet chocolates (not just any cheap chocolate) sitting on top of it.

Of course, it could be that I also play better with chocolate in me.....

My piano won't stop making jokes about my playing.... and the Russian accent always cracks me up.

Russian accent?

Are you sure that it isn't a fiercely independent Finnic (that is to say non-IndoEuropean ) with a Germanic influenced accent?

My piano can say whatever it wants about my playing.
vabandust
ma ei räägi eesti keelt.

Yes, Malkin, I'm well-aware, since my better half is a native Finn...plus I once even sat on a piano bench with Indrek Laul while he played for me! But I have never been able to shake the long-ago experience of inadvertently (sort of) arriving at a remote border outpost on a Finnish dirt road in the middle of nowhere. Past the barber pole and guard towers was Estonia, but those guys with the automatic weapons sure looked Russian to me.

Oh now... I don't think so!

We'll see what Wally has to say when the technician comes to take out its inner parts for some maintenance later this summer... I'm pretty sure he'll sound much happier in September when he'll be back together, tuned and regulated!

Yeah, I've talked about heart and soul with my Yamaha too. She's kinda flippant about it, really. She says the dividing line is clear - she's responsible for decibels, overtones, attack and decay envelopes, stuff like that, but not heart and soul, they are 100% in my area of responsibility.

I say - nah, other guys say their pianos have heart, have soul.

She says - phhhttt, have you ever looked inside me? Nothing but integrated circuits, wires, capacitors, stuff like that.

I say - phhttt yerself, have you looked in my heart recently? Nothing but metal stents, an electronic defibrillator and pacemaker with integrated circuits, lots of wires, capacitors, stuff like that.

She says - maybe that's yer problem.


This may work for Hiromi, but for me, it's going nowhere fast.

Ed

My Big Mama patiently awaits my arrival and happily plays together as long as I care to tickle her. She makes me sound good, clearly a gal with soul and a big heart. My man says something is wrong with her when I'm gone...not a sound is heard.

My piano constantly complains of dirty teeth. All the germy nose-pickin' kids who drop by my house and run their bacteria-covered fingers all over her pearly whites... Poor old gal. I'll give her a good wipe over with disinfectant tonight and see if she cheers up.

Great grandchildren at my house know we wash our hands before piano playing. It was kind of funny watching child #1 tell child #2, "now we have to wash our hands before we play piano!"

My piano is a lush, only sounds good after a few drinks