Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum Supporting young student

I've been struggling of late with how best to support my child in his piano studies... He's been taking lessons for a year and a half, and in the first year, I was able to also learn along with him and even keep a step or two ahead. I would receive guidance from his teacher to help him practice, and I honestly felt that I was helping my child progress.

He started with a new teacher in the fall, and very quickly began outpacing my ability to keep up. As was the case with his old teacher, I receive guidance from his current teacher on ways to help him practice at home, but now I worry whether I'm more hindrance than help. There have been several instances in which I tried to follow the teacher's instructions and encouraged my son to practice a certain way, only to later discover that I misunderstood what the teacher wanted and then the poor kid has to unlearn whatever I told him.

As he is still only 6, my child is not quite independent enough to practice completely on his own. He loves to play the piano, and I make it a point to sit with him as much as possible and be his greatest cheerleader. However, I sense that he is getting a bit frustrated with my musical limitations, and doesn't understand why I am not like his piano teacher, whom he clearly admires and respects.

Any suggestions as to how I can better support my child would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!

Do you sit in on his lessons? With children ages 5 and 6, I encourage one parent to sit in on lessons (quietly, of course) and observe. I always review new concepts and practice suggestions at the end of the lesson. After a few months, parents usually stop sitting in. Are you able to email the teacher with questions about your son's assignments? I encourage parents to do so if the student/parent is unsure of the assignment (although they all have assignment books).

Do you sit in on his lessons? I have a few very involved parents who actually pull a chair up to the piano to watch their kids' lessons so they can help them practice despite knowing little to nothing about piano themselves. I also make detailed notes in a notebook and talk about what I'm writing with both student and parent. It takes a few moments, but it's worth it in avoiding unteaching of bad habits.

I should also add that, as a former piano student in college, there were times I was frustrated or forgot something taught in class/lessons (certainly, in the math/science subjects!) At the next class/lesson, those questions would be addressed. At some point, parents cannot be expected to be fully knowledgeable about every subject a student is studying, and have to surrender to the teacher.

Ask the teacher for permission to record the lessons with an iPad.

If you're not the primary student taking the lesson, sooner or later your son is going to outpace you. It's a matter of time.

This is a normal part of the process. Congratulations on your child's progress

Practice after the lesson, on the same day as the lesson, is the best way to translate the teacher's suggestions into practice for the week. Perhaps your son can explain to you what the teacher asked for, then you can reinforce it during the week. As time goes by you will be more in charge of enforcing THAT he practices, and can tell you what he is improving about the piece from one day to the next, and not so much in charge of the specific tasks/goals.

chasingrainbows and Brinestone, thank you for your quick replies! I sit in on every lesson and take as detailed notes as I can. However, the teacher's instructions are often quite subtle (to the musically uneducated such as myself, anyway), e.g. rounding my son's palm a hair or placing his fingertip just so. It is easy to go a bit too far when making corrections during practice sessions at home and consequently doing something wrong on the other end of the spectrum. The teacher is extremely focused on proper technique, and it's difficult for me to help my son get it "just right", especially when his assignments are beyond my capability to play. I do understand that, as chasingrainbows writes, "At some point, parents cannot be expected to be fully knowledgable about every subject a student is studying"; however, I just didn't expect that time to be so soon. He's only 6!

AZNpiano and hreichgott, thank you both, as well! Unfortunately, the teacher does not allow lessons to be recorded. My son does practice after his weekly lesson--I will encourage him to reflect on and translate his teacher's instructions into a very specific practice plan for the week. At what age or after how much time are young students typically able to correctly practice independently?

Well, just so you have an opposite view, I'll state how I, a piano teacher, see it. To me, the approach of the parent trying to reinforce concepts from the lesson takes the fun right out of the whole process. The teacher should do such a good job in the lesson in terms of corrections that all that remains is for the young student (6-8 years I'm talking) to simply repeat the piece many times and explore on the piano. The teacher can make some things more clear by writing in their book, but oral reinforcement should be enough in most cases.

The parent can help by ensuring the child practices regularly and for a reasonable amount of time (twice per day for 10 minutes each time for this age group); by creating a peaceful environment that facilitates practice (let your child get bored sometimes so they look to the piano for stimulation); by sitting and listening in the same room or nearby as you clean the kitchen for instance; by taking them to musical events and recitals; by playing classical piano music in the car; and by complimenting their playing.

The most important thing you do may be lying on the couch listening to piano music on cds or radio and thoroughly enjoying it. If your child interrupts, try indicating you're getting to the best part and can't be disturbed. This speaks more to a child than running after them with a feather duster getting them to practice.

+1

I feel you may be too involved in the process. You are right, you don't know the subtleties that the teacher is trying to work on, so you should not address technique at all. Leave that for the teacher to deal with. Tell her that you feel you cannot be in charge of that during the week, and to let you know if she specifically wants you to watch out for anything, but I'm guessing she won't.

Just read his assignments to him and makes sure he does it. Whether or not he is successful with them is up to the teacher to explain it better next time.

Another point, I think, is that problems of over-correcting or not quite understanding all the teacher's instructions on technique are very common for all piano students (I say this as student, not teacher). I think he will have those issues and need for followup corrections whether you're part of the equation or not. But he will learn more from them if he doesn't have you to "blame." So I agree with those who suggest stepping back to a supporting role rather than being more involved.

Candywoman, Morodienne, and jdw, yes, I think I may be too involved! But the teacher asks that I practice with my child. She nods sympathetically when I apologize for not being more competent in this regard, but still continues to specifically ask me to work on technique with him. Is it possible she regards my good-faith attempts to follow her wishes as the lesser of two evils vs. my son practicing on his own at this point?

I love Candywoman's suggestions on how to support my child's musical development away from the piano bench. I do many of these things already, but have never tried the tip in her last paragraph. Just to be clear, however, I do not need to force my child to practice. Practicing the piano may not be as fun as just playing the piano, but the kiddo actually does understand that practice helps his playing, and that it is a necessary means to an end of his own choosing (not mine). It's just a little hard for him to practice exactly the way his teacher instructs him--for which I can't blame him as I the adult also have trouble with this! It is a relief to hear, via jdw, that over-corrections and misunderstandings are common, and not something unique to either my son or myself.

She nods sympathetically? How nice of her [not nice, actually: sorry, I forgot sarcasm doesn't come through on the Internet well]. Putting guilt on the parent for, guess what, the parent not being a trained pianist and piano teacher. I call it "putting guilt" because the sympathetic nod is confirming that Cardinal is doing something she (Cardinal) should feel bad about.

Wouldn't it be nice if instead she could say "You're doing great. Thank you for your support. You're doing everything I would want a parent to do. Here's one thing you might try as a tweak to what you're doing; I think that might make this practicing help feel even better for both you and your son."

[ETA: Morodiene, Candywoman et al sound like they're right on the money.]

[2ETA: of course, I only have Cardinal's interpretation to go on. In fairness to teachers everywhere, and to Cardinal Jr's teacher in particular, I'll spend time thinking about all the ways this might appear from the teacher's POV.]

At some point you might consider hiring one of the teacher's more advanced students as a practice helper for your son.

I remember a bit about what preceded this. Your child had a teacher who wanted him to "step up" as it were to another teacher. That new teacher assigned pieces over the summer which the student had to tackle on his own, and you as parent tried to help, without being a pianist yourself at a time when there were no lessons. A bit later you wrote in that your son was practising about 1 1/2 hours/day to be able to be up on the material that had been assigned.

From what you are saying, this teacher wants you to help your son with his practising at home. But for that to happen, you also have to be guided in how to help. It is not enough to know that he's been told to shape his hand a certain way or move his fingers in a particular matter like you described. That probably isn't what you as a parent should be guiding in the first place. So what is it that you are supposed to be doing? That's where the guidance comes in, if that teacher knows how to give that guidance.

Perhaps the teachers here could give examples of how they guide the parents of their students in how they will be helping to practise at home.

If you can share, what pieces are he on?

I second that.

(Wait, didn't I suggest that in a previous thread? I do that with my students.)

I would very much appreciate this.

PianoStudent88, please don't think I am complaining about my child's teacher. I am incredibly grateful for her even to have accepted him into her studio, and quite pleased with his progress under her tutelage. Any guilt I feel regarding my musical deficiencies is entirely my own.

malkin and AZNpiano, I think it would be difficult to engage one of the teacher's more advanced students as a practice helper. Out of the 18 or so members of the studio, my kiddo is the least serious--his 1.5 hours or so of virtually daily practice is exceeded by every other student, some of whom are even homeschooled so as to be able to devote more time to the piano. I don't believe any would be able to carve out the time to be a practice helper. On the other hand, your suggestion gives me another idea--rather than our current 1 lesson of 45 minutes per week, perhaps I could ask the teacher for 2 lessons of 30 minutes per week. The incremental cost wouldn't be too much more, and less time in-between lessons would mean less time for bad habits to form. What do you think?

TheMonkeys, my son is currently playing from Tchaikovsky's Op. 39, Burgmuller's Op. 100, Schumann's Op. 68, Clementi's Op. 36, and the Notebook for Anna Magdalena Bach. He is also working through Czerny-Germer's Selected Piano Studies. I believe you are a fellow parent--do you have any advice for me in helping support a young child in his piano studies?

I didn't have a 6 year old at that playing level, so I don't think I can offer much for your specific situation.

I stopped attempting to help my boy with techniques all together when he enter the intermediate range, as I found that counter productive in many ways. However, I did listen to his practice and help him to manage the practice, what I heard myself saying the most are like:
-- break up the passage, it is too long to be effective.
-- this section sounded fine to me, spend more time in the next section.
-- shhhhhhhhh, softer, wasn't that pp?
-- slow down please
-- you need to use metronome for this section.

Every now and then, I collect a piece played by different level of players, also a recording of his own, and listen together with him, compare the different versions. I found that sometimes helped almost magically.

But the above is how I am dealing with a 9 year old at the immediate range, not 6 a year old. My 6 year old is still at the early stage, which is an entirely different matter.

Also, we are far less serious, I am not losing sleeping on the shape of their palms.

Hi Cardinal. I get the impression from your posts that you have happened upon a quite wonderful teacher for your boy. From afar obviously, she sounds very human, very kind. That she insists on your close involvement, I interpret from that point of view. She sees a 6 year-old boy, who has come to the piano through his mother (I suppose that you are his mother, not his father!) and who needs his mother close to him. She knows perfectly what your limits are and I am quite sure that she doesn't expect you to round your son's palm to match a perfect image of what she did during the lesson. But she feels that her little pupil is ... well he's a little pupil and needs his mom, she isn't trying to push him out of the nest.

The fact that she doesn't accept that you tape the lessons, that too I see as very positive. She wants you (you and your son) to listen, to watch, to try to understand. I would suggest that the day after each lesson you take a moment with your son to think back over the lesson, and write down the things that seem important. You will be more attentive to the spirit of what she teaches, and less to the letter which, in any case, you cannot duplicate no matter how hard you try!

One last little thing, concerning your comment:


It is normal that he is quickly depassing you on the piano. But don't forget that above all, above all other things, you are his mother and he is only 6 years-old. Learning to respect his mother is more important than the piano, and that is something that only you can teach him.