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I’m 13 and I’ve been learning the piano for four years. I’m not on basics anymore, and that means I have to practice about 3 hours a week (I take lessons every Saturday). I don’t enjoy practicing and I procrastinate, whenever I start practicing I can’t wait for it to end, I just don’t feel like I have fun practicing. I don’t look forward to weekends because I know I’ll have to go to music school. A year ago, I told my dad I wanted to quit and he said no because he had spent a lot of money buying me a piano to practice at home. Should I quit or is there a way I can make things better?

It depends. Do you really want to become better at playing the piano? Then it is important to understand that to become very proficient at playing the piano it will takes hours of daily practice.

If you do not want to learn to play the piano, and do not enjoy it... then I honestly see no reason for you to continue taking them.

But if you want to play the piano well, but do not want to practice often, I can't help you there.

Why did you start in the first place?

Tell your father how excited you are that you can make almost $20,000 a year as a professional musician and will only need to work one other full time job to get by when you graduate. He will make you quit.

You might consider getting a different teacher.

But whether you enjoy piano or not is up to you. Find the joy in it, and your life will be better. Remember Beethoven's teacher hit him, and he still found a way to enjoy it.

This is easier said than done, but, try to find a way to get some enjoyment out of practicing.
Discuss this situation with your teacher.
- Be honest with your current feelings about practicing.
- Perhaps a change of repertoire might be needed : Ask if your teacher thinks that if you had some pieces you could really enjoy working on, the incentive to work would be greater.
- Are there pieces that you would like to play that are within your technical grasp that might give you greater incentive to practice?
- Perhaps one reason you don't enjoy your practice is because you are not seeing any progress. Perhaps you are not seeing any progress because
- - you don't like the pieces you are working on or
- - you aren't practicing enough to make progress.

Someone who has been studying for four years and who is past the basics, should probably be practicing about an hour a day.

No one can make you like music and the decision to continue or stop lessons has to be worked out among you, your father and your teacher, but, if you must continue, there should be ways to make practicing more enjoyable : a sense of accomplishment and learning pieces you really want to learn.

Talk to someone!

Regards,

I'd say, either quit (at least for now) or maybe better, try to find a way to go about it that feels better.

I 'quit' when I was exactly your age. But after about 6 months, I found that I missed it....Actually it wasn't that direct or simple. I started getting interested in listening to records -- in those days you could take LP's out of the library, and I got into taking them out -- and before long, I heard pieces that I felt I had to play. So, I got back into playing, with a whole different mindset (and mostly on my own for a few years), and haven't stopped.

Sam, you haven't told us one word about your teacher, or how long you two have worked together, or what sort of piano music you are learning, or what sort of piano music might turn you on.

It might be time for some changes in your music education. Maybe another teacher; maybe some more stimulating pieces. Or maybe pieces chosen by you.

Practicing the piano is not always fun, but if it's never fun or at least interesting, there is something wrong that can probably be fixed.

The fact that you're even asking this...

I think there's a problem with the question itself and how you're looking at things. I don't practice because I have to, I practice because I want to be able to play properly whatever I'm working on. I think that pretty much goes for anyone doing anything. So the fact that you're asking this tells me that your practice routine doesn't have this goal.

I think you simply need to look at what you're doing in a different sense or perhaps you're being told to practice things that don't fuel your motivation to keep playing. What does a typical "practice" session for you include? Maybe you need to practice actually playing more music and less exercises or drills.

Of course if you're just not motivated to play better than none of this matters, you should just go about your business however you feel.

Do you enjoy playing at all? In other words, when you do not feel like you HAVE to practice, do you ever sit down and just play piano? Here's another way to ask the same question: When you're practicing and are just wishing it to be over, what would happen if you didn't have to practice what you were told? Would you dive into some other piano music or pieces you like? Noodle around with pieces you love hearing, or pick up old pieces you like? Or would you take that opportunity to go do something else entirely?

If you find yourself wanting to play piano but don't like practicing, well, welcome to 13. While there are plenty of 13 year olds with the maturity to buckle down and take their medicine with slow, pragmatic, conscious practicing, there are plenty who don't and have a hard time concentrating for the time required. Or, they just can't get a lot of satisfaction from incremental progress.

The key is figuring out if you simply like piano. I don't mean simply like piano in the sense that you don't objectively dislike it (because most people don't categorically dislike piano), but more in the following sense: if you could magically be better at something without practicing, whether it be piano, another instrument, a sport, or whatever, would you pick piano? Would being better at piano make you happier than being better at something else?

Now, I'm not asking if you could just be better at piano. I can't think of very many people who would not happily welcome being magically able to play piano. But if you could only choose one thing to magically be better at, would piano at least make the short list?

If the answer is yes, well, then that's an important clue.

For me, the answer is an unabashed yes. And I wish someone had asked me that question when I was younger and ready to quit. Because I ultimately quit. But I quit because I was not mature enough to practice better and confused that with dislike of the piano. Two very different things.

If you feel as if piano is something that was picked for you and you're continuing to slog it out simply because of the momentum of having started it in the first place, well, then quit and don't look back.

But if piano really is something you intrinsically enjoy, and it's simply the drudgery practicing that has got you down, then stick it out until your maturity catches up with your practicing requirements. You'll be glad you did. While usually people are willing to work hard for the things they like to do, the trouble with being a kid is that you often have to do something now that the future you will want to have done so when you're older, and wanting to practice because your maturity permits you to link your goals to the necessary way to reach that goal.

Good luck. I found 13 to be a really difficult age. At least you're asking questions and seeking input. That's something a lot of 13 year olds don't do, so somewhere in there is the mature you with the right decision!

In addition to all the points raised already--and if you really do want to learn to play:

I wonder whether your teacher has shown you how to do purposeful practicing. Sometimes when practice feels like just repetition and drudgery, it's because it is. But this isn't effective practice, which should have a reason for everything you do. This makes it a lot more interesting.

"...Someone who has been studying for four years and who is past the basics, should probably be practicing about an hour a day..."

That is, samtyler, about twice as much as you are practicing now--- but that is, only if you want to become good at it. Usually that takes a goal. You could be getting pretty close to the point where, being good at it is its own goal, and its own reward. Your dad is helping you by providing the piano and the opportunity--- and a little push to help you get up some momentum--- but at least some of it has to come from inside you. So, is it there? You can tell, and we can't.

I actually do remember being 13 rather well--- maybe because it was so painful that it impressed itself with unusual force in my brain. But, I know that some people have a great time being that age.

I think your dad is telling you that he cares, though he may not be expressing it in a way so that you can tell what his feelings are by interpreting his actions. A lot of dads are horrified by the idea that their son would want to play the piano--- what's next, wearing a dress? But he sees past that tired old stereotype (my dad didn't), and he must have had a little idea that you wanted to learn, or that maybe you had a spark of talent for it inside you. That's unusual and special enough that, maybe, he wanted to fan the little spark and see if it would set the world on fire one day. Or at least, bring some light and warmth and pleasure into your life.

Lots of people who quit at age 13 are really sorry about it later, and wish mightily that they had kept going. For one thing, the young brain is able to learn more easily. For another, when people who quit start up again, they realize that buying your own piano is really expensive, and so are lessons. And your adult years are so busy, it's hard to make the time. So this time of your life when learning comes naturally, you have the time and energy to put into it, the piano and lessons are there and already paid for--- it's a special opportunity that may not come again, or may not come for a long time.

The other great thing--- and terrible thing--- about being age 13, is that making decisions about what you do with your life, starts to become your own job. You're not a young kid, yet you're also not an experienced adult. Decision-making is a skill that you can learn. I like to make a list of the factors, one column 'In Favor,' and one column, 'Against.' See which column has the most items, or the most important items. You could ask someone else for help, to find out what process or what skills they use to come to an important decision.

But asking someone else to decide for you has a big problem: they can't live for you. You are the one who has to live with the consequences of your decisions about life, whether they work out, or they don't. The ability to choose is a gift you can't really give away.

I'm just glad, for you, that you seem to have the chance to choose from some pretty good things. So, you're a lucky guy. Think it out; you'll pick the right thing in the end.

Good luck to you.

I want to second everything TwoSnowflakes said. There's a big difference between not liking to play the piano and not liking to practice the piano.

I've heard this lament far too many times: "I used to take lessons as a kid but gave it up because I didn't like to practice. Now as an adult I'm so sorry I didn't stay with it."

I have a 16 year old son who doesn't like to practice. He finds it really boring. He has always wanted to play, but he has never wanted to practice. He has been taking lessons since age 5. A couple of times I told him he was done. If it didn't want to practice, he could just quit. When he was young, he cried. He didn't want to quit, and he didn't want to practice. It has always been a struggle to get him to practice. I also don't believe in letting kids take lessons unless they put in practice time.


He has made some nice achievements. He does enjoy playing with other kids. However, he still doesn't like to practice. He wants to play in a low key orchestra in college that 1. doesn't rehearse too much, and 2. where he doesn't need to practice outside of rehearsal.

I don't know what to tell you. I always thought that one day my son would enjoy it more, and be more willing to practice. Maybe when he is 60. I don't know!

One thing I can tell you though about it's benefit. Every time you start practicing, you are also practicing starting something that you don't think you enjoy doing. And, that has a life benefit. There will be many things in life you have to do, and won't necessarily enjoy doing. So, practicing piano now will help you get stronger in the habit of starting things that need to be done.

First, thank you for sharing what is not an easy mental anguish. Second, at the ages of 9-11, I lived your life, in regards the piano.

So, when my mother and father had the fight, it went like this: (Mother) well, I want him to take piano lessons, and my father, who practiced three hours every night after work, said: well, what does he want to do? My mother said: well, he wants to play baseball with his friends. My father then said: well, that is what he is going to do.

At the age of 62, I can play rings around most of the so-called concert level pianists because, as a young child, I lived a NORMAL life. I was not chained to some piano because it would supposedly add culture to my life.

True fine art is a reflection of a person's soul life experience. If there is no life experience, then there can be no true art.

My suggestion is that if you truly want a musical experience then you ask your father to sign you up in his church youth choir. If he does not have one, then you might want to take guitar lessons from a qualified instructor. At least, that way, you will have some connection to the rest of the modern musical world, as opposed to the geek pathway you are being forced to follow, now.

Finally, please watch my video, and if you have any more questions, do not hesitate to contact me by personal message.

I compliment you for your insight, your courage, and your honesty.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VPgg3armCI

Really?!

That theory went out the window about ten seconds into his video...

At least this one has the stones to post a video, unlike some of the trolls of years past.