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#2214418 - 01/14/14 09:39 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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Exalted Wombat Offline
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What's white and red and can't turn round in narrow corridors?

A bride with a spear in her back.

It happens more often than you might imagine.
................

An unpleasant lady was Jane,
Three marriages ended in pain.
But she never gave up
And the guests at her nup-
-tials would sing "Here we are again!"

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#2216502 - 01/18/14 03:27 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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I have never seen a bride with a spear in her back, but I have seen a bride carrying a spear.

"Achtung!," said Monsieur, one of my co-workers. "Zee bride is here and she's carrying zee weapon. Looks like zee harpoon, or zee spear, or somezing."

Actually I think she was going for a royal sceptre-look—sort of an ornamental staff meant to enhance her queenly attire. It was winter, she was wearing an ermine cape and a tiara. How I wish I had photos, but alas, I was stuck at the piano.


Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2216603 - 01/18/14 11:00 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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I'm not sure I'd find that theme encouraging, were I the groom.


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"People may say I can't sing, but no one can ever say I didn't sing."

-- Florence Foster Jenkins
#2216842 - 01/18/14 07:53 PM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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I've heard of a 'shotgun wedding,' but never a 'speargun wedding.' But, if there was ever a topic for a limerick...


Clef

#2216991 - 01/19/14 05:40 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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There once was a bride dressed in ermine,
Who scowled through the nuptial sermon,
We trembled with fear,
As she picked up her spear,
Her target was hard to determine.


Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2218845 - 01/22/14 03:41 PM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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She tugged at her Vera Wang veil,
And danced down the banquet hall trail,
Shamu was her name,
Which was sort of a shame,
For she slightly resembled a whale.



Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2219219 - 01/23/14 02:15 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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A lace-covered Governor Christie,
She jiggled and wiggled, all twisty,
She took the band down,
When she ripped off her gown,
On the bridge to their version of "Misty."


Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2219274 - 01/23/14 07:22 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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As her bridesmaids looked on, horrified,
Jane slipped Vibrating Love Eggs inside.
As she walked down the aisle
They remarked with a smile
"That's a new take on 'Here comes the bride'!"

I may have killed this thread... :-)

#2220681 - 01/25/14 06:25 PM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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The bride's dad was cheap, it was clear,
For instead of champagne, they served beer!
The guests were aghast,
And proclaimed, "It won't last;"
And they fled, with their gifts,
Fleet as deer.

The pianist was good, I suppose,
Although, with all the racket, who knows?
The bride danced her fill
To a saucy quadrille,
And she then made the groom
Rub her toes.


Clef

#2220967 - 01/26/14 11:01 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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(I am aghast. Aghast! Gotta love this thread.)

Though her dress was all fancy and fluffy,
The bride's feet were both stinky and scruffy,
As the groom rubbed her toes,
The best man held his nose,
Then the bride got unusually huffy.





Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2220975 - 01/26/14 12:05 PM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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To the pianist, Bridie hissed "You, Sir,
My deepest opprobrium incur!"
"But what did I do?"
She spat at him. "You
Played the Mendelssohn, but I said WAGNER!"

#2222313 - 01/29/14 06:02 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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what happened here! everyone turned into a poet! reminds me of high school English class, hehe.

#2222351 - 01/29/14 08:16 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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Next we shall try writing about brides in sonnet form. I believe we have already attempted haiku.

What can I say, Wind? It's the slow season. No weddings to write about so we have to do something. And anyway, it's Clef's fault. He threw the limerick challenge at me and I had to jump in. You think this is easy? Just try it. All I can think of is: "There once was a bride from Nantucket . . . ."


Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2222411 - 01/29/14 10:25 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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You want iambic pentameter, we got iambic pentameter...
..............................................
Bride, spare a thought for ev'ry minion who,
To quite achieve your Special Day, must strive
As worker bee inhabiting a hive
Those thousand vital background tasks to do.

The seamstress holds you in with pins and glue
The make-up artist hides your face with slime
The driver gets you to the church on time
Stout workmen all, each one deserves his due.

Ahead of all, recall the versatile
Musician who, from repertoire obscure
Or popular, accepts with smile demure
Your inane choice of tune to strut the aisle.

But pray forgive her if she has to spew
When made to play "A River Flows in You".

#2222462 - 01/29/14 12:19 PM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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ah guess you guys are bored!! actually I might be doing an interesting gig in the near future.

I bumped into the strength and conditioning coach of a pro hockey team, whom I used to do some marketing work for. He is keen on the idea of having live music accompany his training workouts to set a certain mood. So I'm excited to see how this turns out.

#2222540 - 01/29/14 01:49 PM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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Okay, Wombat, you win. The official "Let's Talk Weddings" gold medal for bride poetry goes to you.

"Spew" is one of my very favorite words, as is "demure." You get double points for those choices.

Wind, good luck with your gig. Feel free to write a limerick about it, especially if you can work in a bride or two.



Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2223297 - 01/30/14 08:23 PM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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Exalted Wombat, too funny! Also, I have to confess that I like that Yiruma piece, and I believe I am actually the first person to share an amateur recording of it at the ABF. But at the time, I was acutely embarrassed of the title and originally shared it as "River," not thinking too much about it but sort of assuming that people won't be interested or know who Yiruma was because at the time, his music was only really known in Korea and Japan. Who knew?

I still like it, but I think it would be much better with a less melodramatic title. But, had that been the case, we would not have been able to enjoy your creative use of the word spew! smile



Started piano June 1999. My recordings at Box.Net:
https://app.box.com/s/j4rgyhn72uvluemg1m6u

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#2223398 - 01/31/14 12:38 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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"River Flows in You" has made me more money in wedding income than any other piece in my repertoire. So I'm with you, Shirokuro! Plus I have a sentimental connection to the piece because my teenage daughter asked me to learn it after hearing a vampire play it in the Twilight movie (retitled "Bella's Lullaby"). This is why the piece became so popular—who would have thought a piano-playing vampire would inspire a popular wedding song?

Anyway, on my daughter's advice, I recorded it for my 2011 Waltz of the Asparagus People album (the CD corresponds with my book) and it has become the #1 request at weddings. And I still like playing it—I have an arrangement that modulates a couple of times ( I like to plan the big lift for when the bride makes her entrance) and that keeps it from becoming too tedious.

I agree, Shiro—the title does sound a bit like an advertisement for a feminine hygiene product.

But the music is lovely and simple and fun to play. So let it go on record that I am a fan of "River Flows in You." But the writer in me—who, as I mentioned, would never turn down the opportunity to use the word "spew"—applauds Wombat's very funny choice of titles!


Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2223488 - 01/31/14 08:37 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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There was a young vampire called Mabel.....

(Google it)

Robin, I think I love you.

#2223655 - 01/31/14 02:21 PM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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Northern VA, U.S.
Meanwhile, today's edition of "A Phrase A Week" included the following in a list of celebrated "Spoonerisms" (today's subject):

Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?


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"People may say I can't sing, but no one can ever say I didn't sing."

-- Florence Foster Jenkins
#2224652 - 02/02/14 02:48 PM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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There was a young vampire called Mabel,
Who waltzed on the nuptial table,
Her groom was a dud,
But she still sucked his blood,
Though his neck was as thin as a cable.

And that is it! No more limericks. I am probably very close to being put in Piano World Jail. You guys (and gals) are killing me.

One of the ninja swans at the castle (I think it was Prince) chased a young woman up the hill today. He was all puffy and agitated. She looked somewhat frazzled. I witnessed this incident—from a distance—as I was leaving the park, and realized (with some amusement) the woman was the very same bride-to-be who had talked to me about playing for her wedding in July. Not a good sign.


Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2224683 - 02/02/14 03:53 PM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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Originally Posted by Piano Girl RMG
There was a young vampire called Mabel,


I didn't know there was a CLEAN one that started like that!

#2225212 - 02/03/14 02:03 PM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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"...I am probably very close to being put in Piano World Jail..."

This, in the very same week that I read here that there is such a thing as a Piano Zoo. Oh well, another six weeks of winter.


Clef

#2226070 - 02/05/14 12:25 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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Just to prove that I'm good for something other than really bad bride limericks, here's a suggestion for my fellow wedding pianists looking to drum up some business: If you know a good photographer in the area (also looking to increase business) why not offer a recording or two to him/her to use as a soundtrack for his "demo" slideshow or video?

I am in the process of doing this right now. In the past I've provided music for many wedding videos (that are the property of the bride and groom and will no doubt be viewed with mixed emotions over years to come, by, say four and half people). But this is the first time I am participating in an actual demo that will be placed strategically to attract new clients. Mutually beneficial to the pianist and the photographer, if you ask me.

If you want to take this a step further, you can also team up with a specific wedding location/hotel/restaurant. Beautiful photographs, a beautiful location, and your beautiful music. Nice way to present your services!

Just make sure the video has clear contact info for you.



Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2226792 - 02/06/14 06:35 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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Not much to do with weddings, but a lot to do with our second favorite topic—here's my newest essay.

Olives, Almonds, and Sauvignon Blanc: The Musician's Guide to Losing (and Finding) Those Last Five Pounds


Considering I’ve spent most of my adult life playing the piano in a cocktail lounge, it’s amazing I’m not (yet) an obese alcoholic with salt stains on my fingers and a pickled liver. I have stared down more bowls of smoked almonds and wasabi nuts than most people do in a lifetime. If I had the cash equivalent of every drink purchased for me by the lounge lizards and dapper dandies drifting through the world’s cocktail caves and five-star hotels, I’d be able to retire right now. A glass of the good champagne served at the hotel where I currently work costs forty-five dollars. Over the last twelve years I may have sipped the champagne equivalent of a brand new BMW.

Read more here . . .


Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2231263 - 02/14/14 02:13 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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Tonight is the annual VD dinner at the castle. Once a year I drag out ye olde red dress and play Music for Lovers. Should be quite nice—not the dress, necessarily, but the music and the atmosphere.

Any of you have VD gigs? I suggest you have a healthy supply of business cards on the piano, since a lot of marriage proposals take place on this holiday. Over the years I've picked up a couple of nice wedding gigs this way.

I'm hoping Buttercup Blondeau makes an appearance tonight sometime before the creme brulée is served. Haven't seen Buttercup for awhile, and this is surely her day.


Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2231282 - 02/14/14 03:10 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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This is a photo I took on Valentine's Day a few years ago.
[Linked Image]


Semipro Tech
#2231340 - 02/14/14 07:59 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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Originally Posted by Piano Girl RMG
Tonight is the annual VD dinner at the castle.


Every year you say this, and every year I snort coffee all over my keyboard :-)

I wonder if I could hire a room at the local Special Clinic for a rival event?

#2231437 - 02/14/14 11:52 AM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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Yes, Wombat, the VD dinner. I play at a full service hotel.

BDB, those birds are adorable. Stay, little valentine, stay . . .


Robin Meloy Goldsby
www.goldsby.de
Author of PIANO GIRL: A Memoir
RHYTHM: A Novel
RMG is a Steinway Artist
#2231453 - 02/14/14 12:41 PM Re: Let's Talk Weddings [Re: Piano Girl RMG]  
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..

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