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Well, Robin, much is being made of today's being the 100th birthday of comedienne Lucille Ball, but we can also say, "Happy Birthday, Old Sparky," for it is the anniversary of its first being used to electrocute bad people, in 1890. (Greg may have something to say about this, from his extensive stage experience and his many close brushes with this hazard.) Why, electricity itself had barely been discovered, and grounded outlets and the GFI were well in the future.

So was the show, "Bridezillas," but the TV Guide listing, itself, started with the description, "Tracie's bad dye job and fighting words spell trouble," and I just didn't have the heart to watch. I mean, if that's the best they can say. Well ok, just a peek, during commercials in "Suits." Tracie's dark roots and fried hair, and her snit at the beauty parlor, still made better viewing than a long commercial break.

But if you're considering, "What?" then what about a sit-com? They seem to be buying these in blocks of ten, and giving them a chance to see how it runs. Many promising shows seem never to come back, but that only means that one is in good company. So the disabled write letters to the station to complain about that idiot in the stand-up wheelchair that knocked the piano on top of you, in his pique at not being able to slosh down Mai-Tais on the terrace. That means nothing but more eyeballs on your show. Oh--- that must be what made me think of the Electric Chair. After all, what could be worse than being sent to the chair, and yet to still live... able to go anywhere, except down three stairsteps.

I think your stories have everything to show well on the small screen. Music, humor, VERY colorful experiences, pathos, drama, vivid characters, sexually charged scenes, scenic variety, romance, glamour, slippery stairs, and plenty of Dress Extras. Royalty, crazy people, performers, astronauts in orbit marrying by proxy. And, of course, the misfortunes of wedding planners. You could probably even get Alex Trebek to do a cameo ("And the answer is: 'Elvisians'").

If that is too ambitious, try out a one-hour special. There is a lot of demand for content on those cable networks. No need to come all the way to L.A., when BBC America is so definitely in the game.

Yesterday, on the other hand (and the day I started writing this post), offers an overflowing cornuopia of interesting anniversaries. My personal favorite is, the birthday in 1850 of Guy de Maupassant. Any writer would like that, and trust me, I winnowed through plenty. I had the good fortune to read a collection of his short stories, back to back with an anthology of Kate Chopin's. Both, masters of the short tale, each work evocative and yummy.

But if that is too much, I'm still waiting for that feature on the Golden Age of Nightclubs--- that is a gold mine.

Do not worry about Darlene. I am going to suggest to her that she leave off the middle stories and instead skip to the last chapter. Your is a book of delicacies which can be nibbled from either end. When she likes you--- and I know she does--- she's not on-again-off-again.

remember the samurai deli.. with John Belushi..? you need someone like him standing behind you Robin.

btw.. I love bollywood.. so innocently skanky and enthusiastic.

I'm in a bit of a quandary (quandery?) re my accompaniment job. I took some time off you know, and my director.. the one that I hired really enjoyed her time doing everything and nurturing further talent among the groups members. I said I was coming back and everyone cheered and such but I could tell she was a bit irritated. She is a bit of a prima donna but doesn't let it show too much. the people who have taken turns directing and playing are not too happy either.. i could tell... sigh

anyway, I'll probably look for another job as soon as I can drive. 2 or 3 services on a Sunday can be quite lucrative.

kind of sad tho.

"...and my director.. the one that I hired really enjoyed her time doing everything and nurturing further talent among the groups members. I said I was coming back and everyone cheered and such but I could tell she was a bit irritated. She is a bit of a prima donna..."

Right; got the picture. She'll burn out a bearing, but you'll have a better job by then.

If she was as smart as all that, she would nurture your talent.

"...anyway, I'll probably look for another job as soon as I can drive..."

Don't you remember the talk we had, Apple--- the one about taxicabs?

Now, since I'm sure you've been wondering ever since last year, when NASA lost my request for information on the music played at the first (and only, so far) wedding in space: no, they didn't answer YET, and I am not holding my breath. But, here the anniversary is again, of the 2003 fete, and I do have a photo of the cosmonaut groom.


Something Russian, I would imagine. Scriabin, Borodin, Rachmaninoff (what, too tempestuous? not for me), Tchaikovsky, Rimsky-Korsakov, Mussorgsky, Stravinsky, Kabalevsky--- and that hasn't even skimmed the cream off the top, but I am tired of spell-checking Russian surnames.

Last year (and every year) the event was accompanied by a meteor shower, and this year we have an ion storm and a double coronal mass ejection, which together have created auroras much brighter and much further south than usual. So if the cosmonauts are still married, they have something nice to remind them of a romantic anniversary.

Why? It's not all about you. It's about her too and, as there isn't a constant supply of new jobs, her career will progress by taking over from other people. If YOUR career is still on the rise, you'll move up to a better job. If not, you'll drop into unpaid work or onto the scrap-heap. Tough, but true. Sorry.



Sounds like an excellent wedding night! Not too sure about the ion storm.... :-)

Really, E.W. There is no need to be mean to Apple. If you were to read back a bit in this thread (and quite a few others) you might learn better.

I could not think exactly what a wombat is, but on doing the look-up I learned that they resemble a woodchuck, and can be bad-tempered. Woodchucks are exalted on February 2; wombats must wait their turn until October 22.

"Although mainly crepuscular and nocturnal, wombats also venture out to feed on cool or overcast days. They are not commonly seen, but leave ample evidence of their passage.

"Dingos and Devils prey on wombats. The wombat's primary defence is its toughened rear hide with most of the posterior made of cartilage. This, combined with its lack of a meaningful tail, makes it difficult for any predator that follows the wombat into its tunnel to bite and injure its target. When attacked, wombats dive into a nearby tunnel, using their rump to block a pursuing attacker.

"Humans who accidentally find themselves in an affray with a wombat may find it best to scale a tree until the animal calms and leaves. Humans can receive puncture wounds from wombat claws as well as bites... through a rubber boot, trousers and thick woollen socks. A man from rural Victoria state was mauled by a wombat (thought to have been angered by mange) causing a number of cuts and bite marks requiring hospital treatment. He resorted to killing it with an axe.

"Wombats are misunderstood and those attempting to rear and rehabilitate wombats have difficulty in helping others understand the best ways of living with wombats. Although Australia is a big country there are few areas where wombats can live undisturbed. Many parks, zoos and other tourist set-ups across Australia have wombats on public display, and they are quite popular. They can be awkwardly tamed in a captive situation, and even coaxed into being patted and held, possibly becoming quite friendly.

"However, their lack of fear means that they may display acts of aggression if provoked, or if they are simply in a bad mood.

"Since 2005 there has been an unofficial holiday called Wombat Day observed on October 22."

abridged from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wombat

i didn't interpret wombat's post as mean.. things are what they are.. and I don't mind looking for a job which will get me more weddings and funerals anyway.

It certainly wasn't intended as mean, and I'm glad to hear none of you have any need to take offence on Apple's behalf!

"...Could you run over that bit about "not knowing your relatives" again? Which drug should I order? :-)Keep laughing, keep getting better. XX"

You are forgiven, Wombat. No doubt, I just took it the wrong way. Maybe we feel a little overprotective about Apple. I found it quite interesting to learn the truth about wombats and woodchucks.

Grooms in orbit--- did I mention that, not only is there a meteor shower, aurora borealis well south of usual, and a moonlit night with nice summer weather, but some locations will also see the Space Station passing overhead?

"Not knowing your relatives--- what drug should I order," is well to the point for my family. The wayward niece whose child was taken up by Child Protective Services has learned that no one wants to carry her through life as an albatross around their neck. The husband (who was the whole point of having the baby) has moved on, daddy has left town, the child is adopted out, the uncle is not about to invite her to come live on his couch.

My advice to everyone is, if you're thinking about having unprotected sex with a convenience store clerk--- don't. Just don't. Look what can happen.

All the same, I hope for the best for her. A person with a grown-up body and six-year-old emotional maturity. Well, some people get by with less.

Is this a piano forum or a Creative Writing class? :-)

It's a creative writing forum, a piano forum, a floor wax, and a dessert topping. Look at our numbers. We must be doing something right.

I am back from Belgium. AssumingI am not wrestled to the ground by the Diet Police and thrown into solitary confinement for consuming way too many waffles and French fries, we will be heading to France tomorrow, where we'll be staying in an 18th century French farmhouse in Bourgogne, with a grand piano in our room. The place costs a mere 45 € per night, and if it's as whacky, eccentric, and wonderful as I am anticipating I will be glad to post the info here.

Apple, use your instincts. Sometimes it's good to use opportunities like this to make changes in your life. Sounds like you're fired up about the possibilities with new churches. And it also sounds like the idea of working with Miss Thing does not exactly thrill you.

Clef, love the photos and the anniversary info. I do hope NASA will write back to you, assuming there are still any employees there at all.

But you cheated! I definitely caught the word "piano" in your last post! Maybe even twice :-)

Robin.. whipped cream in every square? that's how i ordered mine.. what heavenly bliss.

Well, when in Rome...

After all, we would not wish to be looked upon with pity by the locals for our boorish behavior, or our ignorant and unwarranted disdain of the local customs, and if that means eating Belgian Waffles, just be glad it isn't snails or honey-dipped locusts or Laotian River Snakes, eaten with the heart still beating.

I believe Belgium is also rightly famous for chocolates. I wouldn't mind seeing them go toe-to-toe with Vienna some of these days, at least on TV. My doctor just told me to lose 20 pounds Or Else, but I can close my eyes and safely gaze upon the charming scene of Belgians serving hot pommes frite with freshly-made sauce mayonaisse. It seems I've been told they're served in paper cones, or something like that.

french fries with mayo really is a tad too 'indulgent'.

I wouldn't even try them.. even tho I'd eat whipped cream in every square any day, any time.

Pot: Kettle; Kettle: Pot.

Today in Wedding History: "1880 – Construction of the Cologne Cathedral —Germany's most visited landmark" [and burial place of the Three Wise Men] "—was completed, 632 years after it had begun."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cologne_Cathedral

I seem to remember being taught that Edison, a champion of DC power, tried to associate the AC system of his rival Westinghouse with electrocution. Edison even tried to verbify his competitor's name, referring to the execution method as "Westinghousing". The ploy didn't work, of course. AC won out.

I think that being electrocuted on a ShowMobile would be more of an annoyance than a death sentence, the penal equivalent of a five-watt bulb. We did do an outdoor show recently with a big, modern generator that might have been up to the task, but executions are no longer considered family fare. Political correctness and all.

Back in my youth, when you got a good honest volt for your money, things were different. This is also back when "plastic" still meant "junk". Quality construction required metal; strong, gleaming, electrically conductive metal. My Dad liked woodworking, and had a workshop full of chrome-plated potential shock hazards with two-prong plugs. (I recently "appropriated" one of his old sanders; It might not be "double grounded", but what a beautiful, solid tool it is)

Our amplifiers were built the same way. They tended to have tubes in them then, and those sometimes ran on higher voltages than even came out of the wall socket. The chrome face-plate was attached to your guitar strings by a nice low-resistance run of six-nines (99.9999% pure) copper wire. Your microphone was similarly connected, but usually to a different system.

None of that would necessarily cause a shock, but it did mean that any electrical problem would be transmitted to the musicians with great efficiency. The most likely scenario was touching a microphone and your guitar strings at the same time. As you would most likely touch the microphone with your lips while gripping the guitar with a sweaty hand, this could be a truly transformative experience.

I played a Fender Rhodes back then, and used an Ampeg tube amp. The original Fender Rhodes Stage 73 models were completely passive; they required no power to operate them. Much like an electric guitar, the "electronics" consisted of a long string of 73 separate pickups, one for each key. These converted the vibration of the "tines" inside into a signal to be sent to the amplifier.

The keys were plastic, and all of the outer surfaces if the instrument were either plastic or covered in vinyl ... except for a narrow aluminum panel that ran along the backs of the keys. This was also the panel that housed the output jack and the volume and tone knobs.

Anyone past a certain level of playing develops a "feel" for where to touch the keys. No one deliberately plays near the back edges. But sometimes you reach for a particularly wide chord. And back then I was experimenting with some percussive playing; I was every bit as funky as a seventeen year-old white boy should be.

The combination of a wide chord and a hard hit would occasionally bring my middle finger in contact with that aluminum plate. I can remember a night when all the conditions lined up perfectly. I played one of my funky chords just as I leaned into the microphone to let loose a similarly soulful vocal wail.

For one very long moment I was in a Science Fiction movie, several of them, in fact. I made the jump to hyperspace, had galaxies whipping by at light-speed, crossed the event horizon and briefly visited 1955 in my Fender DeLorean. I also nearly fell off my stool. The planned "soulful wail" came out more like "Unhnhnhnhnhnhn", amplified with full fidelity and effects through the system.

While that wasn't the first time I'd gotten a shock, not nearly, I never forgot to test the shock potential before a gig after that. Ah, the good old days. I haven't really thought about that in ages. Even our bass player, who also uses a microphone, doesn't seem to have any problems. I guess grounding and safety have been improved since the '70s.

Going even further back, the guitarist in my very first band and I decided to build stage lights from scratch. We would probably have been 13.

We built two low-slung boxes out of '60s wall paneling and glued aluminum foil (yes really) inside to reflect the light. We found a bunch of ceramic bulb sockets in a jar in my Dad's garage, screwed them into the boxes and wired up lamp cord to the little exposed screws. There were four bulbs in each unit, one each of blue, red, yellow and green.

We were already tempting fate, but didn't stop there. We decided we needed to be able to switch the different colors on and off remotely. We found two electrical boxes and screwed them together. We mounted four switches and four outlets in the boxes and then went about guessing how one might wire them up. I find myself wondering where we got all that stuff, but no one threw anything out back then, certainly not either of our Dads.

The fourth try was the charm. Each of he first three resulted in Danny's basement being plunged into blackness. Luckily he knew how to change a fuse. I also remember that day as the very first (and second) time I ever got an electrical shock. It took all day, but we thought those lights were the coolest thing ever.

Thinking back on this, a couple of things come to mind. The first is that kids our age had quite a bit more unsupervised free time than would be typical today.

The second is almost on-topic; there's something about playing music that leads to adventures, odd occurrences and lots of story fodder. We're all pretty lucky, I think.

So satisfying, Greg. Thanks for the story. I built one of those lightboxes when I was a teenager, and yet lived. My production of a cutting from Spoon River Anthology, lighted with this risky device, got me into the Thespian Society in spite everything a mean Drama and Debate teacher could do to keep me out, but I did not discover rock concerts until it was too late

I just noticed this sig line, from our member, Tweedpipe:

"Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called wedding cake!"

The troops of mourners turned out once again at Graceland yesterday, to mark the unfortunate passing of Elvis. And yet, there are more Elvises today than ever before. But I risk certain death at the hands of my aunt, a hope-to-die Elvis fan and more dangerous than Old Sparky ever was, if I say more...

Cologne Cathedral's anniversary led me to a link about the reliquary of the Three Wise Men--- and all along, I thought that was the biggest whopper in the world, spun up out of thin air by Robin when she couldn't think of anything else to say to Bill Clinton. Admirably quick thinking on her feet, I supposed. And effective, too, for it caught his attention just as it started to stray. So in a way it doesn't matter that Empress Helena found so many pieces of the True Cross, its Nails, the Spear, the Shroud, the location of the Holy Sepulchre itself, the Original Manger, and so many, many more things, on a medieval shopping trip to the Holy Land (1000 years later, mind you), that her biography doesn't even mention the mummified Magi, and how they traveled from Iran to Milan to Cologne. This is the kind of story that's better than true.

And In Other Elvis News:

Contender for Captain of the Nuclear Club, Michele Bachman, made an on-the-air Elvis error that even Fox News couldn't stomach: she confused the date of Elvis' birth, January 8, with the date of his decease: yesterday. Commentators said that she "embarrassed her campaign." It was a picture, watching her wave her arms as she yelled out, "Happy birthday, Elvis!" and tried to gin the crowd up to sing 'Happy Birthday To You.'

"She was a girl," as Mae West remarked, "who climbed the ladder of success, wrong by wrong." Bachman may not know when Elvis's birthday is (or perhaps she doesn't know the difference between birth and death), but what a perfect way to observe the birthday of Mae West, August 17, 1893.

Was it not enough for the King's memory to bear, that his daughter married Michael Jackson?

"...a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called wedding cake!"

The error has been long corrected, if not yet lived down. Yet smarty-pants still crack jokes at Elvis' expense. One of my favorite scenes on "The Golden Girls" saw Dorothy thrown out of the Elvis Fan Club that was meeting in her own living room, when she laughed at a porkchop preserved in Lucite, bearing Elvis' own toothmarks.

"This is a fake," she scoffed. "It has to be."

"But why?"

"Elvis would never leave that much meat on a porkchop!"

Sorry. I still laugh. Maybe that's why the show is still on the air. Better yet, Betty White got mixed up and sent all the wedding invitations to Elvis impersonators instead of to the guests. So the set was full of twenty or so Elvises of every ilk, who not only conducted the ceremony but sang for it as well.

Fade to denture adhesive commercial.

Really? I wonder how many other budding performers dabbled in amateur electrical work.

"And yet [we] lived" is about the most optimistic spin you could put on our most recent gig. I'm sure I'll be able to spin it into a funny story someday, but the proper perspective hasn't set in yet.

We had all manner of sound and electrical problems which I'm sure made us sound like crap when they didn't stop us in our tracks altogether.

At our age and after this many gigs you don't often get to call something a "first", but this is the first time I ever heard of smoke, actual smoke, coming out of a speaker. The park staff happened to have a set of PA speakers that we could use for the rest of the gig. We played an instrumental ("Pipeline", by the Ventures) while they got them set up. Apart from that, the highlight of the evening was driving home.

Oh well. There's always the next time to look forward to. That's tonight, indoors, which should make for fewer surprises.

Arf... I KNEW I was born too late... I would have love to live the 60-70's ! :-)

Very funny to see that Robin just came to my country a few days ago.

Haaa french fries... and mayonnaise ! Food for your soul !

Next time that any member comes to Belgium, let's organize something !