....would you like to give me any practical sugeestions or recommendation of books which may help me overcome(or reduce) the extreme nervous of playing before others?(especially strangers I think, and especially when it comes to any technically difficult passages)
Thanks for asking!
You're giving yourself a pretty specific 'diagnosis' -- and I think I mostly see it differently. You sound quite well poised, in an overall way, particularly because of how capably you handle all the technical aspects and without any sacrifice of tempo. I think the main things that could use 'correcting' aren't fundamentally related to nervousness, but to your not being aware enough of how much you are prone to rhythmic glitches, and not being aware enough of
what kinds of places are vulnerable to it. I don't think any books would be a great way to try to approach this. I think you'll do fine with just looking more closely at exactly what happens in your performances, with these issues in mind -- and preferably with the aid of your teacher. (I assume you do have a teacher?)
It's pretty easy to see exactly where are the places where you have the issues in this recording (like, look at the places I pointed out, and just listen to the recording closely, maybe counting or tapping every 8th note if necessary, and you'll be able to find them) -- and then to work on being more in control of the rhythm in those particular places. It's not necessarily that easy to
generalize about it in your mind -- i.e. to know "what kinds of places" are vulnerable. It's better if you can also generalize it, because then you're learning something that will help you in general, sort of 'forever'
rather than just fixing specific places in this piece. Based on what happens in this recording, I can try to generalize for you a little bit. I'm not sure it's accurate, because it's impossible to know from just one performance like this, but maybe some of these will seem valid:
-- About not holding the trill long enough: If that happened to me (which it sometimes has, including right there in this piece)
....what it would usually mean is, I'm self-conscious that listeners will be bored and impatient with 'nothing going on.' The same thing can happen with sustained long notes, but sometimes it's more vulnerable with a trill because, with a long note, you are at rest and so maybe it's not so hard to remain at rest, but with a trill, you are "in motion" and maybe your body is more ready to jump to the next thing.
Let's talk about that some more.
With a long trill, while it might sort of feel like nothing is going on, of course something
is going on. So, don't be self-conscious that nothing is going on! And, let yourself luxuriate in it, as long as it takes.
But there can be another thing behind the feeling to move ahead too soon: We might not be sure that we're really doing anything with the trill! I think long trills are especially prone to such a feeling, and that this is an extra reason we might not continue them long enough. There's an easy solution to this: Think about what the trill means to you,
know what you are going to do with it and make sure you believe it is something good -- or, if you don't want to be that specific about it, maybe have some different possibilities of what you might do with it, and make sure you believe they are all good. But don't just think, "OK, it's a trill," and fail to go any further with it in your mind, because then, you are really liable to being self-conscious about it and jumping away from it too soon.
-- Maybe another general thing is not waiting long enough to play the next note
after shifting your hand, like in the 'leaps' at 4:00,
because of being afraid that you won't do the shift fast enough, and so you rush to do it. There's no need for you to worry about rushing to shift your hand in time, because you shift it
plenty fast! About things like this, rather than thinking "I better leap fast enough," I think it's better to think of what Clifford Curzon said (I think it was him): Wait
as long as possible to play each next note (but not too long).
The way I approach something like this is actually to leap to the next note as fast as possible,
and then wait -- i.e. don't play it yet. Just get there and be ready, and use your ear to make sure you wait long enough. That means leaving the previous note while it is still sounding -- held by the pedal, which is no issue in the places I mentioned, because you are surely holding the pedal. I think what most people do is to hold their hand up there on the previous note longer than necessary, as though they have to hold the note as long as it continues sounding, and then "stab" at the next note -- which not only makes us more nervous about the leap and maybe makes us rush, but also leaves us less in control of the sound of the next note.
There are also issues of pedaling at that particular place. Uncertain pedaling can also be a reason that someone might feel like rushing too quickly to the next note, but I'll leave that aside for now because this is long enough already, isn't it....
-- A place where you rushed severely at one moment but which I didn't mention before is in the unaccompanied R.H. transition to the middle section. I think the reason for that was that you 'remembered' that the section is marked poco piu mosso, you sort of thought "Oh no!" and so you suddenly sped up. Of course I'm not sure that's correct, but if it is....the remedy for this kind of thing isn't so easy, because it involves management of difficult decisions about tempo. I would just say, try to know better how the tempos of different sections relate to one another, and to work hard on how you do the transitions, so that it will rarely happen that you are taken by surprise like that. And also, since it probably will still sometimes happen that we are taken by such surprise: Develop your sense of how to correct a wrong tempo. There isn't any great way to do it, but there are ways that work better than just suddenly speeding up in the middle of a phrase. Although, you did arrive at a perfect tempo after the rushed correction!
Thanks again for asking. I hope some of this may be useful.
