Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum young students with 2 teachers at the same time

I agree Barb.

I just sent a message saying that if the child is undecided, that I would prefer to let her have a fresh start with the new teacher. I said I would plan to have next lesson be her last unless the child "has her heart set on being in the recital or continuing lessons" with me.

Ann,

You said Sally didn't know the other teacher's name. So she hasn't made much of an impression on Sally.

So I suspect Sally would rather stay with you.

You've been assuming that the parents, or Sally, find you inadequate. But my hunch is that the parents find themselves inadequate.

They sound like helicopter parents who sit down with Sally every evening and help with homework. They don't read music, which means they've never tried to learn an instrument. They know they have no idea what's involved.

They can't help Sally with her piano homework, so they hired Ms. Taiwan.

If Sally wants to continue with you, maybe you can find a way to let the parents "participate" at home. For example, have them make sure Sally practices each piece for 10 minutes, 5 minutes with the metronome, etc. In other words, satisfy their urge to hover over Sally, rotors spinning at top speed.

In short, you're assuming this is all about you. I don't think so. I suspect it's all about the parents.

Poor little Sally.

The "too many books" complaint sounds like a financial problem.

Oh, well. I'm done with it. I've been on "trial" long enough. The parents and child don't know what they want. And I now know what I don't want. I don't want someone in my studio who is shopping for another teacher.

I've missed you around here with the dancing polka dot quote!

my favorite phrase when querying about XX is "I was wondering what's the story?" open ended Q yields interesting info

Thanks. I've decided to post only when I really have something to say. As opposed to chatting for fun daily.

Thanks. I may write that one down to have it ready for next time.

Ann, if I only posted when I had something to say, I'd never post.

If everyone did that, there would be no internet forums at all!

True.

Ann, I hope you will let us know what happens in your situation.

wondering.....if any of you out there were ever in the role as "2nd teacher", please give your perspective. for a new thread maybe.

Hi, Ann,

I have been following the evolution of this thread from my non-teacher perspective, and hoping you would resolve the issue exactly as you have. From our knowledge of you, you are a superb, professional teacher.

AZN, able to stand back from the situation (and probably drawing upon his own significant experience), hit this nail SMACK on the proverbial head = ACT DECISIVELY, and ACT NOW!

It was the PROFESSIONAL thing to do, and much better to be the "sender" of the message of termination, than the "receiver". Brava!

Ed

Thanks Ed.

I have had no response from the parent since my message a couple of days ago suggesting this next lesson be the last. I suppose the parents are surprised that I wasn't willing to participate in the popularity contest they had set up with the child as judge.

I hate conflict and would like all my students and parents to be happy with me. And this family is friends with several of my other students/families. I finally stopped worrying about it after analyzing it repeatedly. Sort of stopped. I'll be relieved when the Wednesday evening lesson is over. I'll do my best to be positive and wish them well with the new teacher.

What I think has happened is that the child is not practicing and is finding piano difficult. Likely complained to parents. And they decided to try someone new instead of addressing any issues with me.

From what I read here, there is a lot of that going around . . . [Cause]>>{Effect}

If nothing else, the friends of this student and her parents will get a clear message: Don't even try to play games with Ann in Kentucky!

I know you had to act decisively Ann because I was once in this position. I had taught a girl for nine years and she was four months away from doing a significant piano exam. The girl's drama teacher wanted to teach her piano as well. So she proceeded to give different pedalings and fingerings. In addition, the time spent with the other teacher reduced my student's practice time by one day. Furthermore, my heart was deeply hurt. The reasons I kept going were I had committed to teaching the whole session til June, as I do for all my pupils, and I needed the money. But both of these were NOT good reasons. I should have immediately dropped her because:
once the parent changed the rules, my commitment became null and void; and no amount of money is worth my feeling of self-respect.

In reading your posts, Ann, I am troubled that you put yourself through so much second-guessing. I hope you desist from this in the future. It is not good for your mental health.

Plus, I don't think I'd even teach Sally on Wednesday. Just pay them out.

Thanks for posting your thoughts Candywoman. You are right. I put myself through way too much second guessing. I've been treating a continuous headache for a full two days and nights. (Very mild this morning and I think this will be the last of it.)

Next time, I won't be so surprised. I'll just know that if a parent has hired another teacher, they have ended their business with me. And say goodbye. Hopefully I will be able to do a simple evaluation of what has transpired, and get over it more easily.

I appreciate the advice I've received here. This really helped me to face the problem instead of letting it drag on.

Ann,

Poor little Sally. It sounds like her parents have left her with the task of facing you and bringing this to a resolution on Wednesday.

If your email was successful in "firing" them, Sally may feel she was "fired" too.

On the other hand, if they cluelessly hired a supplemental home tutor without realizing the trouble it would cause, Sally may really want to continue with you. She may be pretty upset about all this.

On the third hand, if Sally wasn't happy with her lessons with you, she won't be too relieved because now she has to start over with Ms. Taiwan.

I hope for Sally's sake the parents reach out to you before she arrives on your doorstep.

I would not be surprised if the student doesn't show for the lesson on Wednesday.