Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Adult Beginners Forum Live Recitals - Why do I subject myself to this torture?

I think you should try to overcome your fear of the kids or feeling that they are better.
If you overcome this fear you will perform better at public recitals and once the ice is broken it will get easier and easier.
You are yourself, Sam, and you perform as Sam, and people will love you as big Sam instead of little Bob (just a random name).

Hey man, just keep trying your best! I feel that maybe you psyche yourself out a bit when performing? Maybe you think "crap I better not mess up or they'll think the kids are way better than me. Lol or something like that? You say you have the difficult parts memorized? That's good! Very smart. Also, before performing boost your confidence with a "idgaf what they'll think about my playing. If I messed whatever, I'll try my best next time. I'm not going to die from a technical error. Psh!" It works for me. Also, just imagine you're completely alone when playing don't think about or look at the audience when playing. It's easier said than done, but once you feel "alone and intimate on stage" you'll start giving great performances!

Best of luck to you!

Having read the thread (quickly), I have a question for the OP, reflecting his question back:

. . . Sam, why _do_ you put yourself through this?

A "recital" is a funny kind of event. It combines elements of:

a demonstration of skill,

a comparison with other people,

a performance -- "Here's something I hope you enjoy"

a teacher-pleasing exercise,

an opportunity to get used to playing in front of other people,

a rite of passage.

So which aspects do you enjoy? Which do you not enjoy? Which are frightening?

And, is the balance worthwhile _for you_ ?

If you say:

. . . Teacher, I don't want to participate --
. . . it gives me more angst that I can handle.

how do you _expect_ Teacher will react?

Where I'm coming from:

My singing teacher doesn't have recitals. She does run a small choir (largely composed of her adult students), and we sing occasionally at old-age homes, "care homes", and so on. Nobody's trying to prove anything, and we have a good time, along with the audience. It's a very low-pressure situation.

I'm also "in the band" -- as a hand-drummer and singer -- for a local chant group. I'm improving as a singer, and my rule for drumming is simple:

. . . I only play rhythms which are well within my capabilities.

We perform monthly, and our _only_ goal is to encourage our (participating) audience to have a good experience. We do OK with that.

This summer, I may join a choir that requires an audition. I haven't done anything like that for decades, and it'll be interesting to see how I react to it.

. Charles

Sam - don't give up performing in front of others. I agree that playing in kids only recitals is tough. I've done that for every year until last year. I used to think I am not made for public performance. I moved to a new teacher who teaches at a community college which put me in the situation having to play on stage every week. Nothing like doing it many times. After a couple of months, I got used to playing through a piece in front of others. It does not mean that my fingers won't shake. They do, of cousre. I'm on the stage with half cooked piece. But I learned to control the shaking fingers and a couple of strategies how to cover up mistakes. My teacher told me that my experience is very common. Without adequte performance practice, it's not easy to perform to your satisfaction in occasional recitals. I'm only doing this once in a week, but the performance class is held twice in a week. Can you imagine how good you get if you can attend all those classes. If there's a community college nearby, do consider taking similar course. If its not available, create opportunities for yourself. I play whenever I can find my victim. Cleaning ladies, handyman and every guest in my house have to endure my piano. The moment they say, "you have a grand piano", I say "would u like to hear what sounds like?". Without waiting their answer, i just walk over & play. I suggest doing it like a real recital - without stopping play through a piece. Mark the spot where you made mistakes, memory problem etc and fix them in your practice. Good luck.

Yes I'm going to Summer Key in August. I signed up for the two piano section. I am preparing to play this (Mozart piece) at tempo for the school. This would be interesting experience performance wise since its much more difficult to read under pressure (for me anyway), let alone I have to learn to play with other individual.

You've had so much feedback, mine is probably redundant...but I have to say that I would be extremely reluctant to play in a recital with a bunch of kids. (I will possibly have this dubious "opportunity" at the end of this school year)....

I do know that performing is like public speaking - the more you do it, the better you get.

I think - as others have suggested- that it would be great for you to find another venue. What about trying a piano shop and seeing if you can connect with other adult learners? Or a local music school?

You could form your own adult performance group, by getting in touch with the teachers in your town and inviting their adult students. It might be useful to work through the local music teachers association.

Also, I would challenge your belief that there's something undesirable about playing with kids. You're all people playing the piano.

I have poured over this thread because I recently decided to drop out of anymore recitals like these (lone adult in a class of kids from 5 to 18). I do enjoy playing for others but these recitals leave me drained and POed because.

1. They are too long, usually 2 hours.
2. I don't believe they're scheduled well.
3. A lot of students are woefully unprepared to play and spend unbearably long times finding their music in their book(s) while at the bench.
4. This may sound snarky but see #1, instead of playing their 20-30 second pieces at one sitting we play one piece at a time in rotation and this wears on me. because we are required to stay for the entire recital. Each playing 3 to 5 pieces!

Now that said, I think it's great to see these children learning piano but sitting recitals with them is just becoming unbearable for me. Still some of the youngsters play quite well and blow me away with their talent at piano. I just suppose being young they have more patience to sit through it better than I'm able to muster.

As I have stated before, at this stage of my life, if it's not fun for me I'm out. Just cranky I guess, "YOU KIDS GET OFF MY GRASS"

Scary recitals were one of the reasons I quit lessons when I was a teenager. I would never subject myself to them again. I, personally don't see the value. Others opinions obviously differ.

I have since learned to enjoy playing for other people but it's always a low stress situation (like background music or a nursing home etc.) and it's always on my terms.

+1
Nothing like getting together with other adults. They all understand your feeling. In my piano party, everyone started out with a long speech why he or she may not perform well. We all played good but it was almost comical to see everyone gave sumilar speeches. No kids do that. Also everyone was very warm and encouraging. Not like kids - they can be cruel. They don't mean to be but they cannot understand life and it's toll.

+1. The community college performance class I'm taking has also proven to be a great transition vehicle from playing in front of a camera to playing in front of a live audience. We are required to play at least once a month in class for works in progress, but are invited to play more often, and are required to participate in two public recitals that draw a significantly larger audience. About half of the students are my age or a little younger or older and seem to be experiencing the same issues with nerves, and everyone is very supportive and patient. It does get easier under these circumstances.

Ragdoll -- boy, do I hate those types of recitals! I had a friend who taught violin and did these horrible marathon recitals once a year -- they were something like 3 hours long and sheer torture. I had to sit through one of them once because I was accompanying some of the students. It is so unnecessary to set them up that way.

I am 61, and am now very advanced. Thirty years ago, when I finished my degree I wasn't.

So, three things are worth mentioning. 1) I always write out the harmony of my music above the staff for each chord, and then I memorize it harmonically. It is called knowing your music. If you have a temporary slip, you always know where you are, and can recover without a problem.

2) I have low level Parkinson's Disease and I cratered on my first senior jury. Senior juries are ten times the stress level associated with a student recital.

I shared my story with a fellow student, who went on to win the Naumberg Competition and have a successful concert career. He suggested that I take Inderal to help calm myself down before a performance.

He said that all of musicians in Europe take it, and it is not a narcotic. All it does is to basically slow down your adrenal glands which is what starts you to get nervous in the first place, and it does not cloud your head or effect your memory.

Well, I took his advice and actually started to chuckle in the middle of my Bartok selection, when I was playing my jury. I could not get nervous, and that monkey was off my back forever.

If you want a permanent solution, I recommend Neurofeedback from a PhD. psychologist, which is what I have done since then.

For now, learn your music, get an Rx for Inderal(propranalol), which is cheap, and enjoy yourself.

Thanks, everyone for the suggestions and for sharing your own experiences. I see I am not alone.

I have a lesson tonight, and will discuss this with my teacher - maybe we can come up with something...

Sam

That's good. Please let us know what her response is.

I just had one other thought in response to the last post before yours, which might be important, especially to those who might not want to mess with the natural functioning of their adrenal glands, even through non-narcotic means.



My college teacher recommended this as well. Students complain about their fingers forgetting a pattern the day before or of the recital even though they've practiced forever and never had it happen till then. He says that if muscle memory fails, you can fall back on a knowledge of chord structure which helps you remember the pattern, but even if you don't remember the pattern you can improvise something close within the harmonic structure. If both these fail, you should also have the auditory skill to fall back on which come with focusing on ear training via an understanding of the intervals within the harmonic structure, You need all three, he says, and they all work together in insuring against nervousness ruining your performance, and having the confidence to play your best.

Thanks for your comment. It should be noted that one of the specific conditions Inderal is cleared for by the FDA is the treatment of "stage fright." However, it should only be used, if necessary, just for a performance, and not on a long term basis unless recommended for another reason such as mild hypertension or rapid heartbeat.

Secondly, my friend Dan Peak of the University of North Texas played the Prokoviev 1st Concerto in afternoon recital when I was in school with him in 1971. When he finished, the place went nuts. It is the best I have ever heard it played.

When I complimented him on his performance later, he said: "and yeah, on top of everything else, I forgot the whole last page." He then went on to say that he always memorized the harmony for all of his pieces, and that he just played the octave chord progression.

Sam, I don't really have anything unique to add, except to give a +1 to the idea of tying to find some other adult students to have an adult "social recital."

Like you, I've had to play in kid recitals every year... thank god there are at least a couple of other adult students, although at 60 I'm the oldest by 15 years. Still had a complete trainwreck my first year. For me, it isn't the presence of the kids that throws me so much as their parents, grandparents, etc.

Last year went better. I am convinced it is because the week before I hosted an "adults only practice recital" at my house. Somehow having already played (and screwed up a bit) in front of the other adult students helped me feel less nervous and out of control at the actual event.

When I think about why I subject myself to the recitals in the first place only two things come to mind.
First, my teacher once said something that I thought sounded quite true...."it would be a shame to learn how to play the piano and then never be able to share it with other people" Second, I personally just hate the thought that fear of failure would control my decision to play or not. Somehow, the failure itself would seem less bad to me than just not doing it out of fear. But that's just me and should not apply to all people.

I'm sure you've also heard all of these, which I also think are true.

- its unlikely anyone knows the music as well as you, hence many mistakes the audience just doesn't hear as wrong.

- you will never face a more forgiving audience than at your recital, they really want you to succeed.

- learning to bring a piece up to performance standard is a skill in inself that we learn over time....the recitals tell us when we have succeed in doing so, or when not. Both are useful inputs.

As Louis suggested, beta blockers, as they're called, are non-addictive (as confirmed by a familiar board-certified addiction medicine specialist) prescriptions that significantly help with this. As Farmgirl stated, performing at any and every opportunity is the best solution so that there's little [nervousness] effect experienced (I can't imagine there's ever none) when asked to perform.

We're the same in that we enjoy sharing music, but don't have ample opportunity to practice performing and so when the time comes around, we get nervous and don't do our best. I imagine that there's an always-moving line that must be - and stay - crossed by performing often to be able to perform consistently as well as you know you're capable. Until this line is able to be - and stay - crossed, I would highly recommend looking into beta blockers. It's obviously no big deal either way, but see if you can work to better enjoy performing, regardless of the circumstances. Ironically enough, as I'm sure you've read several times here, people who throw all concern of how their performance will be out the window before or during said performance almost always do better ("better" being relative, of course) than people like us who worry far too much about pleasing the audience with a good show. I think the ultimate performance is one in which the performer lets go and detaches themselves to the point that it makes absolutely no difference whether there's an audience or not (I believe Arthur Rubinstein also said something to this effect).


Sorry to post so much, but I got carried away!

You're more than welcome. Thanks for your story proving my point.

I may not be an adult beginner but this is a question I have asked myself many times over the years. Having given many recitals in the past I can honestly say that I always found it uncomfortable and never got over the fear and anxiety. I put myself through it over and over in an attempt to conquer my fears but nothing worked. Other people used to describe the buzz they would get from performing but I never had that experience.

I don't know why I subjected myself to that torture.

Unless you really want to perform and feel good about it then there is no reason for you to battle this. Medication or psychology might help but what's the point?

It's okay not to give public recitals in this way. And I think that being the only adult amongst all those kids is making it even worse for you.

As a teacher I have plenty of students who enjoy performing and others that don't. I never push them. What I do try and do is find other ways in which they can share and enjoy their music in exactly the same way I do. I play loads of gigs providing background music, I accompany choirs and soloists and I play in quite a few ensembles. I also record, write and arrange music regularly. None of this involves getting up on stage by myself and giving concerts in front of loads of people. It's just not my bag and I'm happy now that I have come to terms with that.

Talk to your teacher about it. One suggestion I remember reading a while back on the forum is that you could maybe take part in the recital by making recordings of your playing to be used as people take their seats before the performance. You could be there on the day (nice and relaxed) and have your name in the programme. Also by the sounds of the repertoire you play it may be possible for you to do some accompanying. It's so much nicer and the focus is not really on you so you can enjoy it. I also like the piano party idea where you could perhaps play in the background along with a few other students.

What matters most is that you enjoy what you do with your music and share it in any way that feels good to you. If that means no public recitals then no problem.

Do you really want to do something voluntarily that requires you to take drugs? whether they're addictive or not it seems pretty radical to me.

If I needed drugs to accomplish it I certainly would say no until I found a better way. Or forget it.