Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum Infuriatingly Cheap Parents

I second this, just tell the parents that the child is so talented that he or she deserves a Steinway

.duplicate

You laugh...but I've seen parents do an awful lot because someone told them about their darling child's special talents. If they have the money, they will pay. Talent, special, and throw in "scholarships" and "higher math IQ" and my new fave: STEM (science technology engineering and math) is now being called "STEAM" science technology engineering ARTs and math because the arts are so important to helping people think creativity and innovation.

They don't want an ordinary child, they want a unique child.

PS - not knocking STEAM, I think arts are desperately needed, underfunded, and not always available. I have a very bright child who can take school band, choir, art, computers, cooking or an elective science. I REALLY wanted her to take the science. I feel pressure to encourage her to make her classes academically strong. But her eyes lit up in the art room. I figure there are very few times in your life where you can create art for an hour a day so I let her sign up for it. it was hard for me to let her when all I hear are "computers! science! think of her future!"

"...High parental income does not equal high interest in piano. More than often, they're just getting their kids piano lessons to keep up with everybody else in the neighborhood..."

This problem can be solved by getting the neighbors to laugh at the cheap and horrible piano of these underprivileged yuppie children, and to make snide comments about it at cocktail parties. With the right ally of this social set, a single mention is enough to have it spread all over town within two weeks, for this is high-assay ore to the right gold digger. These people are very label-conscious, starting at birth with the 'right' stroller. Accustom them to the fact that pianos have labels, and are not all the same, although they might look the same to the unsophisticated eye of the arriviste, the way two wines can come in a bottle that looks about the same. But try bringing that Gallo out at a party and look out. When they see their neighbors doing imitations of the characters from The Beverly Hillbillies, and notice that the cruel laughter dies out as soon as they step into the kitchen, it's time to go upmarket with the piano.

It's like that most awkward of conversations:
"Would you mind asking the maid to move her car?"
"That's my car."

Come to think of it, that is getting them to think in the right price range. But starting with wine is a good way to edge into it.

"...They may know that their credit is no longer even good enough to qualify for the rent-to-buy credit check...."

This can be folded into the comment above, as an afterthought. The thing with social climbers is that they need to be shown what to climb. A true adept can even murmur things like, "Madam should wear a firmer girdle with this number," and get right away with it. However, if you can get them to understand that pianos can and should be accessorized with expensive benches, lamps, bookcases full of music, and perhaps a nice side table... you will find that the concept goes down very readily. Some of these ladies will have the price of a nice piano on their back (and feet) at a mere cocktail party, and more than that for an evening out.

"...Anyhow, why do people fund music only when somebody dies, and such dreary music at that?..."

Well, there are weddings.

“I'm young, I relocated to a new area two years ago and started on with whatever those I could find. It beat Starbucks, “

Forgive me if this sounds blunt. But of course some affluent families care about music education; others don’t quite (even though they want their kids to learn a bit). It's the same as some not-so-affluent families care very much about music education, and some don’t. But as a young teacher who just gets in town, you might attract those who don’t care much about music and specifically look for a “good deal” (strictly in the sense of money). Once you build a good reputation, you can pick and choose. For now, as you say it yourself, you probably have to just put up with what you have.

I don't get it. Money spent on lessons is never "recovered". Money spent on a piano... well, the piano can be sold and some, if not a substantial portion, of that initial investment can be recovered. Lessons are a lot of money. It makes no sense to me to spend so much money on lessons and not have a decent instrument to practice on.

I would tell parents that they should expect to spend, say, the cost of 3 years worth of lessons on a piano. And, if their kid is motivated, they should expect to replace the piano after a certain period of time.

Mysterious are the ways of the upwardly mobile.

I'll have you know I serve only the finest box wines!

Good point.

In my neck of the woods, quality and experienced teachers that make house calls are as thin as hen's teeth. Those that do are either conservatory students, just starting out and/or with no studio or even place of their own.

If the parents aren't willing to make the commitment to drive their kids to the piano teacher's studio once or twice per week, then it should come as no surprise that they won't commit to an instrument either.

The situation is rather predictable: the un-committed parents hire the desperate teacher forced to put up with unacceptable conditions and jump through their hoops.

Thank you for all the replies. I'm going to talk seriously to all of them this month.

What was particularly peculiar and frustrating is that they are dedicated in other ways towards the piano. They do not cancel frequently, always pay on time in advance, etc. They just don't accept this as a necessity. I'm going to confront them bluntly soon and report back.

Good luck!

Just thought of another line:

"Look, there is only so much tennis I can teach your children when all they have is a badminton racket and a birdie..."

People who don't make piano education a priority are not necessarily irresponsible people. TheJourney's observation is the same as mine. If you are in a place where there is a pretty saturated market of piano teachers, a new and young teacher in town will not attract families who are serious about piano. I know some outstanding music graduate students in our town who don't get "the serious families" because there are too many well established teachers.

"..."Look, there is only so much tennis I can teach your children when all they have is a badminton racket and a birdie..."

I also like: "Well, I hate to take the mink off a lady's back, but..."

"...I'm going to confront them bluntly soon and report back..."

And IF you're still employed thereafter, do what I told you to.

I've read that even Chopin made house calls as a teacher. Food for thought...

In-home piano teachers are quite in demand where I live. I even made house calls to students who live on the same street as I do, and I charged them the higher fee--parents didn't mind coughing up the money!

I've learned to separate business ("expensive babysitting") from education ("imparting knowledge"). Some of these parents pay me to get their kids through CM every year, just so they can keep up with the neighbors. So that's exactly what I do. I'm providing a service that's worth $$$, and the parents pay me $$$.

And please don't assume the quality and experience of the teacher based on their making house calls. You obviously haven't heard my students play, so you have no idea what I can do.

I also am young and starting out teaching. I am lucky enough to teach at a private school, and therefore many families do (to my knowledge) have the means to afford a piano. However, many of these same families had not purchased a piano at the start of lessons. While I teach at the school, I do know that the practice situation was at times similar to what you have described.

Most of these families purchased one within a few months. Some ended up getting it as a reward for the child. I think one family took lessons for six months and her parents ended up buying a clavinova (not a piano, but a great alternative for someone just starting lessons IMO) Another family made the purchase after the child completed the first book. You could suggest this to the parents.

How long have the students been taking? Honestly, if someone told me to go spend a few thousand on something a child may or may not hate in a few months, I would be a little apprehensive as well. I have one family who has still not made the purchase after about a year. The books are now requiring pedal and notes the child cannot play at home. I think (hope) this family will purchase one soon, but I will continue the lessons if they don't. I would say just deal with it for ones who won't purchase or try to suggest it as a reward or motivation for the child.

If I was a teacher, I would probably tell the parents that this keyboard will take their child as far as through the 1st grade, or first three month of playing, or whatever you feel it is suitable for, but after that they will need ...(provide the list of options and what these options are suitable for - e.g. up to which grade). Then just stop giving lessons. After all, if you were invited to learn 4-year old, to find out they only have a toy piano, would you give lessons on it ?

PS. These parents may well think this a PIANO what they have. At least my husband thought that everything with white and black keys is a piano (it took some time to educate him and to show the difference that this is not true).

I know it is frustrated when parents do not have a piano at home. I think my job is to educate parents what is the different between a keyboard vs digital piano vs upright piano vs grand piano. I also have to explain to them to what extend I can bring students to is depend on what kind of instruments they have at home. However, I do not think it is my job to make sure that everyone to have a piano at home. It is a matter of giving out information, but it is another matter of insisting they should buy one. I think parents have different priorities than us. So, as long as I done with my job, which is educating them the difference and the potential issues, I left the decision making for themselves. To buy or to rent or to borrow a piano is their decisions, that is a line that I do not cross.
So, my policy says that if students own a keyboard at home, I cannot register them for test. If students do not have a real upright piano at home, I cannot register competition or festival for them.
They know the difference, the consequences, they will make their own decision and live with their decision.

Add on:
In my experience, almost 90% of the new students started with a keyboard then slowly upgrade to a digital, then a upright piano when they see their kids showing great interest, enjoying lessons and giving more commitment to piano lesson.
Let me give you one best example I have.
One of my best student, whose both parents are doctors (I guess their combine income is $350K per year). This is what she had:
A keyboard that their parents got for second hand--She used this until Piano Adventure Level 2A.
Then they upgrade to a digital piano.
By the time she reach Level 3A, they suddenly bought a grand piano because they really think that the kid enjoying piano lesson a lot and they want to provide the best for her.
This is a rich family that would provide "ANYTHING" the "BEST" for their kids and yet they started from a keyboard less than 88 keys.
All I say is that not only you have to give parents "time" to upgrade and you also have to give them "results" and "reasons" to upgrade.
This is the not the best example, I am not saying that everyone should follow her path. In my ideal world, all piano students should start piano lesson with an upright piano at home to practice. Unfortunately we are not living in an ideal world.

In the ideal world, all piano students would start with a brand new Steinway grand, no?

Haha, you are funny. That is the perfect world.