Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Adult Beginners Forum What's the biggest reason people stop playing?

Ok, I've just started and feel like I have a long journy ahead of me, but with no pressure to reach any particular level. I'm retired and have lots of time and part of it is learning about music and piano in specific. I've had two hobbies for a very long time -Astronomy and photography- and while my interest has had its peeks and valleys, I still love them. So far intellectually and artisitcally I'm finding it feels very much like when I started my other hobbies. This is just asking your opinion not "statistical data on the reasons why".

Why do you think that people stop?

You stop if you don´t see anymore why you started out with something, because you lost the idea what to watch out for: your everyday practicing with focus on finger technic, expression, posture, with focus on doing everything right let you forget that the real thing you wanted was joy by the beatiful sound available to you everytime you want to hear it because you would produce it yourself. Don´t forget to relax from practicing and see the joy you are producing yourself, even if your playing still doesn´t sound as well as you would like it to sound. Enjoy again the joy, which you receive from what you already play. If you find this difficult, play again a piece with which you for sure happily started out with, play the Ode to Joy!

IMHO: They get overwhelmed with how much they do know, and then they realize how much they still don't know...

After two years I wonder if I will ever "get it". To be able to sit down and play a song and still remember it two months later and perform it the same way is daunting and unattainable by me yet.

Keep on, Keeping On.

For adults, expectations and disappointments is probably #1. Most expect to learn and progress and at some point that slows considerably, and/or requires that much more effort to continue to improve. Injury is another big reason. For those taking lessons, finances are another reason, because piano lessons can be a big budget item for an average person. Time is a fourth factor. Real life often gets in the way of a time intensive activity such as piano.

For #1, comparisons to others can be daunting. For example, if a person compares themselves to those posting to the quarterly recital, that can be discouraging. Most posting their recordings would not be called beginners by an outsider. Many have years of prior training or experience in music as a base (that would include me with experience on whistle and flute). Those that are true adult beginners will tend to be in the top 10% of their peer group, in terms of practice time and aptitude. The average person may get discouraged by those kinds of comparisons, and some will give up.

Good question. I don't think you will find many quitters on this message board. My guess is probably unrealistic expectations. I've been playing for two years. It can be pretty intimidating to see someone "who really knows how to play." My wife thought this would be a passing fad, until I told her that I want to buy my 3rd piano! The first was digital...which I kept for 4 months or so. I now have an upright....but want a grand.

I intend to continue playing until I run out of challenging pieces to learn!

Hi,

I think often people expect a higher result than they actually get and want to "grab" piano playing quickly. That can lead into using force and building a system of wrong habits.

This way is a way to failure and drains soon the inspiration and joy.

Playing piano needs time, patience, care and personal love for music.

Always be gentle and respective to your instrument I think. Even if you play in fff.

Just some quick ideas

Best wishes to you!
Jaak

I think it's because they want fast results and if they can't get it with the piano then they might go to something else....personally I believe it is the persistence that pays off. I always tell my student it's not as if someone sprayed magical dust on you and said you were going to be good at the piano. It's all about the effort.

rada

What an interesting question! I stopped because I was an idiot and sold my piano. I had bought it (Kawai grand) after college when everyone else was buying a car, and studied, played, and loved it for 15 years. But other life finally got in the way. This was 24 years ago, and I never stopped missing it.

Tomorrow my "new" piano, a used + excellent 1989 Baldwin L grand, will be delivered, and the anticipation is beautiful!!!

Pressure--especially the fear that I'd never be great enough to satisfy the music gods in my head--used to detract some from the joy (ok, a lot), and Marco's advice is so important. I'm newly retired and thank you for that reminder. The purpose not only is to study and practice again but to FEEL the music I love while playing it and also give joy to others who love it, like my husband. There is no goal line for me now when it comes to progress. Just to love it and enjoy what happens.

It's hard to be good...If I took my piano studies and converted it to college time, I would be a brain surgeon. But alas, I am just a hack...

Two reasons, different for two different types.

1. Someone who is serious about learning, maybe has an idea it's a long term endeavor. Stops playing because life gets in the way (not enough time to practice). Probably takes it up again at a later date.

2. Someone who starts on more or less a whim (gee, piano sounds like fun!). Quits when it becomes obvious it's harder than it looks. Probably doesn't return.


My two cents.

Nobody seems to have mentioned costs.

I know a number of people who were really into it, took lessons, then couldn't afford lessons and had a go themselves but ended up hitting walls and losing motivation.

Cost isn't that big however compared to air sports. Skydiving you would go through £200 in a day quite easily.

Ive given it up a number of times.... partying too hard, moving to places with no room for practice.... i never stopped missing it though..... never had a passion like it.... touches something inside....

There are obviously lots of valid reasons why people stop playing but that doesn't mean the fire is out. Lots of people keep the pilot light lit for a long long time but if the passion is real they will find a way to fire things up again at some point.

That point by the way is probably right now for a lot of us.

Personally, as UK Paul stated, I would quit something if I no longer had a passion inside for it. To continue doesn't make you a quitter, it would just make you someone who pursues something that they don't even like. That makes no sense to me.

That said, you get out of something what you put into it. If you want 'instant' gratification or are the type that wants a trophy just for being on the team without ever playing then piano is not for you.

It truly is all about the passion (or lack thereof).

A person I know quit playing after many years of lessons when her teacher moved away. It would seem that a good teacher can be the spark that keeps one hooked on playing.

I agree with what's been mentioned in this thread before. I also think a lot of people take piano lessons when they are young because their parents make them take piano. Once they get away to college, or a job, and get out of the house, they give it up. Perhaps in part because they no longer have easy access to the piano, but perhaps also because it was never something they were really passionate and motivated about.

But the main reason is very simple, learning to play the piano well is really hard. It's huge work, and for most people it requires thousands of hours of practice and years of consistent training. People give up on all kinds of things that are hard. Studying a foreign language is a a good example. A lot of people get the bug to learn spanish or whatever, buy a course or two, and they don't even make it through to the end of the course. As a teacher I can tell you that I get very frustrated when my students tell me "I'm just not good at math." While some people have legitimate learning disabilities, most of the time that's code for "Math is hard and I'm lazy so I gave up trying to learn." And this applies to more than just learning new skills. It's new years. If you go to a gym regularly, you probably have noticed a lot of new people have joined your gym (new years resolutions and all). By mid february most of those new clients will stop coming. Working out is hard. People give it up, even though it can literally save their life.

So the question then becomes, how do we as adults, with grown up responsibilities (family, job, social life, etc...) maintain our motivation and keep plodding forward to progress? How do we keep from giving up? We each have to find our own answers to those questions (because what works for me might not work for you). But I do think they are questions worth thinking about from time to time.

Sometimes, it can be hard just to get started. For me, I always love practicing piano (even when it's frustrating the heck out of me I still love it . I even enjoy playing scales (it relaxes me, almost like a zen meditation exercise). But even though I love it, sometimes I feel my motivation lagging. So for me, it's just a matter of making sure that every single day I get my butt on the piano bench. Once I'm there, I'm having fun. And that's really an important part. Anything you do is going to have things about it you don't like. Always ask yourself, "How can I make this fun?" Maybe not everything has a good answer to that, but a surprising number of things do if you just remember to ask the question and think about it.

People quit? I thought they just got lost in Alfred's h*ll, never to be seen again.

I inadvertently quit, 40 years ago or so, when I went off to college and then out into the wide world and lost any regular access to a piano. As a teen I'd lived at the piano. (This was in the days before cheap moveable electric keyboards or it might've been a different story.) Twenty years later my mother finally let me have my childhood piano (she'd held onto it all these years because she hadn't wanted to rearrange her living room! and I'd given up asking)- so my then eight year old daughter could take lessons. The kid never got into the piano but I returned to it with a vengence.

Well, this may be the silliest reason for stopping playing. I took lessons as a child and then my family moved to a small town where there was no piano teacher when I was 14. I continued to play, though, right up through college. I would go down to the common room at the dorm and play for an hour every evening. Then one day my girlfriends an I were at the piano, and a guy came in and sat on the bench with me and started "accompanying" me. He embellished my simple arrangements with arpeggios and added chords, and finally just took over the piano. He was obviously trying to impress all us girls. I was so intimidated, I never played again. Talk about shy!

My husband bought a cheap keyboard about 10 years ago, because he thought he might play. I started fiddling with it and got hooked. I didn't get serious until several years later when I had more time. Now I will never stop!

I originally quit when aged about 10 - because my teacher passed away. I'm not sure why my parents didn't find me another.

I quit when I was 28 - at least serious study - because the family demands were ... demanding. I still played for pleasure and in Church, but no study. I had just achieved a diploma on piano (Australian Music Examinations Board). In retirement, I'm gradually getting my standard up from what it had dropped to.

LOL

Anyway, like fizikisto said, I think the biggest reason is that most people are not ready to work hard for things. Nowadays everything is "easy", "instant", "no-effort" etc., I think our brains and bodies are atrophying. Personally I don't find it hard at all to sit at the piano everyday, but it's easy to get discouraged when you see how long it takes to become a decent player.