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Re: Aspirational Crush
ChordPicker #2001422 12/18/12 10:58 PM
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I think your right, and therein lies the problem. I'm not sure everyone's definition of flirting is the same, google says:- "Behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but without serious intentions" There's never any intentions with anything I say (with anyone, and I do "flirt" (for want of a better word at this moment!) with everyone, whether it be supermarket checkout operator, or salesman!

My OH just rolls his eyes at me, and I don't usually say anything I wouldn't say if he was sat next to me! Perhaps "silly banter with A double entendre at every turn " might be a better way of putting it, I think I need to assess, or take a step back, just because I'm ok with it, doesn't mean he/everyone else is. (Flirtee recpients)

Yikes. I'm just cringing at how many people I may have offended in the past!!! Thanks Stryder for your reply :):) xx

(Now should I have put a x there? Is it necessary??! Rofl!!!)

Last edited by ChordPicker; 12/18/12 11:01 PM.
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Re: Aspirational Crush
ChordPicker #2001459 12/19/12 12:26 AM
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There are a billion and five music students who ended up marrying their teacher. It's hardly uncommon. These days plenty of alarm bells sound, of course, but sometimes you can remove the batteries.

Re: Aspirational Crush
Peter K. Mose #2001777 12/19/12 04:30 PM
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Hmm

Is this the same as making sure fire extinguishers don't work either?

Re: Aspirational Crush
ChordPicker #2001791 12/19/12 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by ChordPicker
... Perhaps "silly banter with A double entendre at every turn " might be a better way of putting it, I think I need to assess, or take a step back, just because I'm ok with it, doesn't mean he/everyone else is. (Flirtee recpients)


Honestly, if I were the tutor/recipient, I would find this both inappropriate and also pretty creepy. Just my two cents worth.

Re: Aspirational Crush
ChordPicker #2001792 12/19/12 05:15 PM
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Originally Posted by ChordPicker
I’m a bit of a natural flirt, always have been, with anyone, cant help myself




If you'd ask a psychologist why people flirt, especially on an ongoing basis, it wouldn't surprise me if they would say 'for attention/acceptance.'

So, if this is true, the cause and remedy is completely under your control. However, that's assuming you ARE in control.

If you cannot control the need for attention, or are being overpowered by it, then it would be best to direct it in a positive way. Sports is a great way to do this for active kids who need to get their energy out. Modeling, hostess, flight attendant may be examples of jobs compatible for people who want to be noticed and so on.

You have to be honest with yourself in order to find a solution. Also, wanting attention is just part of human nature. We all love attention to different degrees. There is nothing wrong with it either as when directed correctly, it can be a huge motivator/incentive.

I know this guy who loves to shoot his mouth off but uses the motivation of attention as his driver. Lots of energy directed in positive ways as opposed to the opposite.

Also, you cannot discount the amount of emotional pain you could possibly end up causing someone else if they become attached to you as a result of your initial flirting. You may be just foolin' around for a while but you should never fool with others emotions.

Simply direct this strong need/desire in a good/positive direction and you'll be fine.








Re: Aspirational Crush
ChordPicker #2001797 12/19/12 05:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Mike A
Originally Posted by ChordPicker
... Perhaps "silly banter with A double entendre at every turn " might be a better way of putting it, I think I need to assess, or take a step back, just because I'm ok with it, doesn't mean he/everyone else is. (Flirtee recpients)


Honestly, if I were the tutor/recipient, I would find this both inappropriate and also pretty creepy. Just my two cents worth.


Well. I suppose asking a personal question on a public forums was my own lookout. Inappropriate - possibly... But creepy?! I think members of the opposite sex flirting, in every town across the world since the dawn of time.. Hardly constitutes as creepy?!

Thanks all for your replies.

Last edited by ChordPicker; 12/19/12 05:40 PM.
Re: Aspirational Crush
ChordPicker #2001827 12/19/12 06:52 PM
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Originally Posted by ChordPicker
Inappropriate - possibly... But creepy?! I think members of the opposite sex flirting, in every town across the world since the dawn of time.. Hardly constitutes as creepy?!


Well, of course, flirting isn't creepy in the abstract. But there's a time and place.

Consider the reverse situation: Older male married piano student flirting and making silly banter with a double entendre at every turn, directed at a younger married female tutor who did nothing to invite it. Seems pretty creepy to me, in addition to being inappropriate and disrespectful. Why any different in reverse?

But again: just my two cents worth. You asked: "would it just make you uncomfortable, or would it just make you smile?" Personally, I'd find it very awkward, and I'd be struggling to find a good way to say, "let's keep it professional, okay?"

Re: Aspirational Crush
ChordPicker #2001861 12/19/12 07:59 PM
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Chordpicker, I get the sense from your posts that you might be a little more interested in your teacher than you are admitting. If so, acting on it any further is bound to cause you both problems. Are you willing to lose him as your teacher if it goes further?

Re: Aspirational Crush
ChordPicker #2001918 12/19/12 11:50 PM
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Going back to the original question... will the feelings fade off. I think they will. The tutor has exhibited a faith in your ability and continues to drive you as a student. Keep the relationship professional for a long period of time. You will find that the feelings will fade.

Re: Aspirational Crush
Colorado Mac #2002032 12/20/12 08:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Colorado Mac
Chordpicker, I get the sense from your posts that you might be a little more interested in your teacher than you are admitting. If so, acting on it any further is bound to cause you both problems. Are you willing to lose him as your teacher if it goes further?


Chordpicker's willing, even if it doesn't - assuming we don't have a troll here (which could be a distinct possibility) Chordpicker's not really that interested in this particular teacher - just in the immature emotional charge derived from the juvenile flirting relationship - but just about any teacher will do for this, and the loss of one will be replaced by any number of others in a continuing series - too bad the interest in learning to play the piano here isn't even one tenth as strong as the desire for the cheap thrill of playing the flirting game...

Dr. Phil


Every difficulty slurred over will be a ghost to disturb your repose later on. Frederic Chopin

Current favorite bumper sticker: Wag more, bark less.
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