Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Pianist Corner how to get over traumatic memory slip experience

Any advice? I have two concerts next week, and just bombed a concert on Friday - had a catastrophic memory slip in the 1st movement of Rachmaninoff 1st sonata (was playing random crap for a few seconds, then stopped, apologized and skipped 3-4 pages and continued on), and I have to play this again twice next week. I feel traumatized - this sort of thing has never happened to me before, ever.

I know it happens to everyone, but it was probably the most frightening experience of my life. Has that ever happened to you and how did you recover from it before your next performance??

Unfortunately, the only way one finds out what they don't really know in a piece of music is to perform it under pressure.

I would recommend first trying to figure out what happened. Why did it happen? I would then try and build extra fail safes into that section. How many different ways is that section memorized? Aural? Physical? Visual? Harmonic? Emotional? Interpretive?

Is the fingering absolutely determined and automatic?

I would also make sure that I had more references that were closer together, so if it happens again, the next spot you think of is 2 measures away, rather than 1 page away.

Try practicing with a recreation of the pressure that may have thrown you. Record yourself as if you are performing it. Get peers who make you nervous to listen to you run it through.

This has happened to me, at various levels, and honestly, I am pretty clever about how I learn a piece of music, but when something like this worries me, I make sure I just beat that section into my muscle memory until I can't screw it up. And, while I am beating it to death, it is also reinforcing all of my other memory fail safes.

Anyways, I am sorry you went through this cause I know how much it is traumatizing, but, you just have to get back on that horse again and start building more and more successes until the emotional energy from this nightmare weakens.

It happens to everyone!

Try writing out that section on paper, or playing through it in your head several times. That'll show any weak spots.

As for getting over the performance jitters that this can cause, try performing it as much as possible before your next big performance. Most elder care facilities have a piano in their main room. All you have to do is show up and ask to play. They always say yes, and they're an appreciative audience. A lot of restaurants have piano and nobody playing during lunchtime. They're another great place to try before you play more serious venues.

HTH,

dan

I didn't recover before my next performance. I got over it after my next performance, which went well. I've never come to a complete stop, however, but I have repeated previous measures several times until muscle memory finally remembered.

Try writing the piece out on paper from memory. Although this may take a whole with the Rachmaninoff sonata.

Thanks all. I'd love to write it out, but the next performance is in 3 days and I should be practicing.... I know why it happened (the ONLY place of the piece that I know I can't play my left hand alone), I had about 15 hours of notice for this concert, then had to spend 5 hours of masterclass and function on no sleep, and almost no practice time. So I know all that. I just wonder how I can mentally get over this and not be afraid of the piece...

I find the better I understand a piece harmonically speaking, the less prone to memory blanks I am. I will also often play through a piece in chord clusters rather than how it's really played in terms of arpeggiations and figurations. That way the whole piece can be conceptualised as a chord progression, with certain melodic attributes. It breaks it all down so that once the fancy stuff is put back in, it's just decoration and it doesn't threaten your overall understanding and awareness of where you are in the grander scheme of things. This approach is obviously only going to work if you have a very thorough grasp of harmony, of course.

One thing that will definitely affect your memory is how tired you are. Make sure you get good sleep over the next few days.

Try to use up all of your memory slip credits to forget about your past memory slips.

Pogo, I don't have much to add but I wanted you to know I am sorry you went through such a painful experience. Of course you know that no human is perfect; just don't forget to forgive yourself and move on.

15 hours of notice?!?

I too am so sorry to hear what you went through, but you deserve a HUGE amount of credit for even taking that on. I hope you don't let it get to you in a bad way:

I can't offer any personal stories, and am not qualified to give advice to someone on your level, but it seems to me there's good advice above. Prepare as well as you can, but in the end don't let it get to you... you can only move forward.

I would say take it head head on. As Uchida said about Schoenberg's Concerto: "You just have to get out there and 'hop' it goes!!!!". Had a similar experience at an area recital that I didn't sign up for. I was asked to perform Beethoven op. 81a on 30 minutes notice to fill up time, and I stupidly said yes. I had a terrible memory lapse during the second movement, and I just played random things until I got it back together. I had never been so shaken so much in my life, and had to get over the fear of performing. When I had to perform my Schubert Impromptu, I just had to walk out there quickly and start playing. After the first note, I was fine again. I just learned what my limits are, and now I can avoid that situation.

Try to play in the setting and on the piano you will be performing on or try it out in lots of different settings in practice performances. I'm always surprised at how my memory gets thrown off by just being in a different setting, with different lighting, instrument, and other variables.

It's very very tough, no doubt about it. I think it's critically important to accept that no matter what you do, you will be nervous when you step on stage. It's human nature. You can help to minimize it by practicing a psychological technique, the name for which (ironically) escapes me at the moment. Take a few minutes (or as much time as you can spare each day--especially when you wake up, first sit down at the keys, and go to sleep), and picture yourself playing the piece perfectly. Every note well. Every audience member enthralled. A very positive experience. The most positive you can make it.

Then, when you step on stage, a part of your mind will believe in that positive experience--the more you practice it mentally, the greater that mental picture will be when you get to the moment--and you will perform wonderfully.

It won't take away the nerves. But you will play it well. Then, afterwards, you will look back and laugh--and that will take away the nerves.

This is great advice! I've been thinking of trying to do this more seriously. Thanks for the push

There's your best advice; right there. You were in no position to be playing onstage under those circumstances, especially from memory. As long as you know WHY it happened and how it won't happen again, that alone should give you enough mental peace of mind to relax you for your next performance.

You can let the experience define you, destroy you, or strengthen you. From your many posts here, we know you are a very talented, skilled pianist. You will be all the stronger from this experience.

maybe you could make a visual outline of the piece... you'll be ok i bet. I know 'writing' out a problem helps me. sometimes we just meet a glitch.

I like your advice Derulux.

good luck.

Sleep is extremely important, first of all.

Secondly, forgive yourself (or maybe that should be first ). Mistakes will happen, and understand that your audience will for the most part be gracious about it and wants you to succeed. Let the past go and move forward.

Third, be efficient with your practice time. Mark key spots in your music to start from. Choose from obvious places where the themes change first. Then take a look at where you had the memory slip, and find a place right after it that you can skip to next time. That will be Plan B (Plan A, of course, is to play it right). Be OK with having to skip measures. The piece can still be enjoyable to the audience even if you miss some things. Practice starting from these spots at random so that you can call them up at need.

Yes, I know how to practice - and I know why this happened, I just didn't do my homework enough and the piece is about 2 months old. So for me, very new. I agree with Morodene - and yes, I do all of that. I can usually start from any measure in a piece, with either hand. And yes, sometimes I go through the trouble of "play one bar and skip the next" - really helps! Or left hand with RH melody notes only, etc. I could've easily jumped that bar and gone on to the next phrase, but when your body and mind are so tired you lack your normal strength to get you through it. At least for me.

Just wanted advice on mentally getting over this.

Actually, I feel better. A colleague of mine laughed and said "[censored] happens to everyone" (he's of the most brilliant pianists I know) told me two horror stories that happened to him.. so we are all human. I will never let this happen again!