Welcome to the Piano World Piano Forums
Over 2.5 million posts about pianos, digital pianos, and all types of keyboard instruments
Join the World's Largest Community of Piano Lovers (it's free)
It's Fun to Play the Piano ... Please Pass It On!


SEARCH
Piano Forums & Piano World
(ad)
Virtual Sheet Music
Download Sheet Music Instantly
Virtual Sheet Music - Classical Sheet Music Downloads
Sheet Music...
(125ad)
Piano Life Saver - Dampp Chaser
Dampp Chaser Piano Life Saver
(ad)
Modern Piano Moving
Modern Piano Moving
(ad)
Piano Buyer Guide
Piano Buyer Spring 2017
(ad)
Lindeblad Piano
Lindeblad Piano Restorations and sales
Who's Online Now
66 registered members (AprilE, Azer, agraffe, ando, 20 invisible), 1,613 guests, and 9 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
(ad)
Estonia Pianos
Estonia Pianos
Quick Links to Useful Piano & Music Resources
Our Classified Ads
Find Piano Professionals-

*Piano Dealers - Piano Stores
*Piano Tuners
*Piano Teachers
*Piano Movers
*Piano Restorations
*Piano Manufacturers

Quick Links:
*Advertise On Piano World
*Free Piano Newsletter
*Online Piano Recitals
*Piano Recitals Index
*Piano & Music Accessories
*Live Piano Venues
*Music School Listings
* Buying a Piano
*Buying A Acoustic Piano
*Buying a Digital Piano
*Pianos for Sale
*Sell Your Piano
*How Old is My Piano?
*Directory/Site Map
*Virtual Piano
*Music Word Search
*Piano Videos
*Virtual Piano Chords & Scales
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1977317 - 10/22/12 11:03 PM Would you want your students at your memorial service?  
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 625
MaggieGirl Offline
500 Post Club Member
MaggieGirl  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 625
My daughter lost one of her coaches last week and tomorrow is his service. She is wavering on attending (she got an official notice). I was going to let it be fully up to her, but her teacher said she thought it would be important for her to attend. She has seen this coach weekly since she was about 6 or 7. We don't know his family at all.

If this was your student would you think it odd for her to go?

(ad)
Piano & Music Accessories
piano accessories music gifts tuning and moving equipment
#1977323 - 10/22/12 11:16 PM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 6,364
jotur Offline
6000 Post Club Member
jotur  Offline
6000 Post Club Member

Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 6,364
Santa Fe, NM
I'd go if it were me. The family knows how important coaching was to this individual, and it would be nice to know that "coach" was important to the players, too.

I don't think it's unusual, and, to me, it would be important to go, both for the family and for your daughter.

Cathy



Cathy
[Linked Image][Linked Image][Linked Image]
Practice like you are the worst; play like you are the best - anonymous
#1977339 - 10/22/12 11:56 PM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 625
MaggieGirl Offline
500 Post Club Member
MaggieGirl  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 625
Thanks, she is writing them a letter right now. I think she is going to be okay.

#1977350 - 10/23/12 12:15 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 135
Theme&Variations Offline
Full Member
Theme&Variations  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 135
Melbourne, Australia
Yes, I would want them to go.

(I wish I could get back in touch with my childhood piano teacher and tell her how much our lessons mean to me. I think she has moved overseas.)


Private piano teacher since 2003
Member:
ASME (Australian Society for Music Education),
ANZCA (Australian and New Zealand Cultural Arts),
KMEIA (Kodály Music Education Institute of Australia).
#1977352 - 10/23/12 12:19 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,981
Peter K. Mose Online content
1000 Post Club Member
Peter K. Mose  Online Content
1000 Post Club Member

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,981
Toronto, Ontario
I think there's nothing odd about her attending. In fact it is entirely appropriate - unless she is afraid, in which case perhaps you should accompany her.

Funeral services are an important part of life.

#1977398 - 10/23/12 02:45 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,548
casinitaly Offline

Gold Supporter until March 1 2014
casinitaly  Offline

Gold Supporter until March 1 2014


Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,548
Italy
I know you've already decided, but I too would vote a big yes.

My highschool music teacher passed away last year and I couldn't go to the funeral as I'm overseas --- but I would have gone to pay my respects and to mourn him.
I know some of his family (his kids) but even if I didn't, I'd have gone to the funeral.



[Linked Image]
#1977543 - 10/23/12 11:18 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 250
bmbutler Offline
Full Member
bmbutler  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 250
I would be honored if my students did. I think it is a great way to remember and thank the coach (or teacher.)


Bachelor of Music (church music)
Master of Church Music (organ, music education)
Piano Teacher since 1992
Church Musician since 1983
#1977869 - 10/24/12 06:03 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 210
Toastie Offline
Full Member
Toastie  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 210
UK
I teach in a high school and, yes, I would want students there, as they are so much a part of my life and teachers are a really important part of theirs. I think that your daughter's coach would be pleased to have had such a positive impact on her life and to be rembered by his students. Teachers are special, I really feel for her.


Complete Beginner August 2012
'Play Piano' Book 1 - finished
'Play Piano' Book 2 - finished
Grade 1 Sight Reading - finished
Grade 1 Exam Pieces
Grade 1 Scales
The Easy Piano Collection Classical Gold
Yamaha U3
#1977923 - 10/24/12 09:12 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,981
Peter K. Mose Online content
1000 Post Club Member
Peter K. Mose  Online Content
1000 Post Club Member

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,981
Toronto, Ontario
If my students don't show up for my memorial service, there may be consequences....

#1977975 - 10/24/12 11:36 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: Peter K. Mose]  
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,651
Overexposed Offline
2000 Post Club Member
Overexposed  Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,651
Originally Posted by Peter K. Mose
If my students don't show up for my memorial service, there may be consequences....


laugh

I don't think there will be a memorial service for me, and it's doesn't bother me. I don't like a lot of fuss anyway. I'll simply disappear from PW and be slipped quietly under ground. And my students will have long forgotten me, grown up and moved on. I do not expect to be remembered.

Aaack! I don't want to think about it.

#1977977 - 10/24/12 11:37 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,702
Minniemay Offline
1000 Post Club Member
Minniemay  Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,702
CA
I expect full-blown sobbing, wailing and gnashing of teeth.


B.A., Piano, Piano Pegagogy, Music Ed.
M.M., Piano
#1977988 - 10/24/12 11:58 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 625
MaggieGirl Offline
500 Post Club Member
MaggieGirl  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 625
It was a beautiful service. He was really in inspiring person (and really young). frown I'm glad she went. She has been pretty emotional.

#1978049 - 10/24/12 02:01 PM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 226
missbelle Online content
Full Member
missbelle  Online Content
Full Member

Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 226
USA
My daughter's gymnastics coach died, and all the girls went together.
It was a nice way to say goodbye, and face the reality that they would not see her again.

For me, I guess so? But I would have an adult friend play the music, not my students.

Funerals and memorials need to be explained to the children so they know how to behave and what to expect. But it is good for them to go. Especially for someone they knew.


Learning as I teach.
#1978074 - 10/24/12 03:03 PM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: Minniemay]  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,639
John v.d.Brook Offline
7000 Post Club Member
John v.d.Brook  Offline
7000 Post Club Member

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,639
Olympia, Washington, USA
Originally Posted by Minniemay
I expect full-blown sobbing, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Not only that, I expect they will provide the service music, and make this a memorable event! The Busoni transcriptions of Bach's preludes, the Schubert f minor 4 hand fantasy, a couple of concerti, etc., etc.


"Those who dare to teach must never cease to learn." -- Richard Henry Dann
Full-time Private Piano Teacher offering Piano Lessons in Olympia, WA. www.mypianoteacher.com
Certified by the American College of Musicians; member NGPT, MTNA, WSMTA, OMTA
#1978148 - 10/24/12 05:42 PM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,702
Minniemay Offline
1000 Post Club Member
Minniemay  Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,702
CA
Nice repertoire choices, John. I'll come to your funeral.


B.A., Piano, Piano Pegagogy, Music Ed.
M.M., Piano
#1978452 - 10/25/12 11:51 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,767
Jeff Clef Offline
4000 Post Club Member
Jeff Clef  Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,767
San Jose, CA
"Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service?"

No. I would be dead; I would not "want" anything.

These observances are for the benefit of the survivors--- the family, mostly. Since your daughter doesn't know the family, it could be worth consulting their preferences (I think this might be what the OP is asking). Attending is not the kind of obligation it might be for a family member, who not only might wish to honor the departed, but comfort the other family members and underscore the family's cohesion. There can be other motives; the family might want witnesses, or they might not. A big turnout might be nice for them, or it could be an additional ordeal.

What the OP thinks would be good for her daughter to do is another matter. It might help her to come to terms with death as a feature of life, or to help her say goodbye, as well as the other things mentioned above. An announcement of a death or a service is not exactly the same as an invitation.

I'd say, find out more from the family, and from your daughter, and then make up your mind.


Clef

#1978475 - 10/25/12 12:32 PM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,639
John v.d.Brook Offline
7000 Post Club Member
John v.d.Brook  Offline
7000 Post Club Member

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,639
Olympia, Washington, USA
Hey Jeff - funny, but actually, "would you want" is a future conditional phrase, so we can, at least until moment of death, state our desires. Of course, the service is primarily for my wife, and it would do her a world of good to have the many students who've crossed our threshold over the years, attend and express condolences.


"Those who dare to teach must never cease to learn." -- Richard Henry Dann
Full-time Private Piano Teacher offering Piano Lessons in Olympia, WA. www.mypianoteacher.com
Certified by the American College of Musicians; member NGPT, MTNA, WSMTA, OMTA
#1978504 - 10/25/12 02:12 PM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,651
Overexposed Offline
2000 Post Club Member
Overexposed  Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,651
OT: This thread reminds me of a line in Pirates of the Caribbean at World's End. Captain Barbosa shouts in his pirate's voice as their ship heads into the maelstrom: "Dyin' is a day worth living for!"

Woo Hoo! I like his spirit of facing death as an adventure.

Last edited by Ann in Kentucky; 10/25/12 04:23 PM. Reason: I finally remembered Barbosa's name
#1978796 - 10/26/12 07:22 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 19,862
apple* Offline
apple*  Offline


Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 19,862
Kansas
My service is closer than one would think. I've slowly let my students trickle away and the ones i have left (the siblings) are worth their weight in golden prayers... no way are they not coming. They can sit in one of the first few rows with their 6 or 7 siblings, parents and 2 wheelchairs.


accompanist/organist.. a non-MTNA teacher to a few

love and peace, Õun (apple in Estonian)
#1978805 - 10/26/12 08:05 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: casinitaly]  
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,614
griffin2417 Offline

Silver Supporter until Dec 29 2012
griffin2417  Offline

Silver Supporter until Dec 29 2012


Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,614
Minneapolis, MN
Originally Posted by casinitaly
I know you've already decided, but I too would vote a big yes.

My highschool music teacher passed away last year and I couldn't go to the funeral as I'm overseas --- but I would have gone to pay my respects and to mourn him.
I know some of his family (his kids) but even if I didn't, I'd have gone to the funeral.



I felt the very same way about my piano teacher. I didn't find out about her funeral until the day it was held. I was really upset that I didn't get a chance to attend her funeral. She was truly an inspiration to me.



Carl

#1978862 - 10/26/12 11:36 AM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 935
Michael_99 Offline
500 Post Club Member
Michael_99  Offline
500 Post Club Member

Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 935
Canada Alberta
I went to a small college, had been there a few months and a head of the office/registration quickly died of cancer. I remember she was old, say 50, and I was 19 - young.

Everybody went it seemed, including me. I had never been to a wedding yet, so the funeral was my first big event. They had an open coffin as you exited the funeral. To this day I remember the event. When my father died, no one wanted an open coffin, but to remember him as we knew him alive.

What it key is to know the facts. Has you daughter been to other funerals, seen a open coffin. If she grew up on a farm she would have seen death and births, but otherwise...

Even now in my 60s I don't just go to a lot of funerals because I can necessarily.

#1978925 - 10/26/12 02:11 PM Re: Would you want your students at your memorial service? [Re: MaggieGirl]  
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 409
riley80 Offline
Full Member
riley80  Offline
Full Member

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 409
Florida
Not odd, but mature. I'd be proud of my daughter if she chose to go.

I have attended funerals of ppl I never knew, but thought it would help the family if more people attended and seemed to care.


Moderated by  Ken Knapp 

Piano Acc. & Gift Items in
Piano World's Online Store
In PianoSupplies.com ,(a division of Piano World) our online store for piano and music gifts and accessories, party goods, tuning equipment, piano moving equipment, benches, lamps Caster Cups and more.


Free Shipping on Jansen Artist Piano Benches
ad
Pierce Piano Atlas


(ad)
Pianoteq
Grotrian Concert
Royal
for Pianoteq out now
What's Hot!!
Why Do You Play The Piano?
-------------------
Posting Pictures on the Forums
-------------------
Forums RULES & HELP
-------------------
ADVERTISE on Piano World
-------------------
Piano Classified Ads
New Topics - Multiple Forums
Piano Placement
by RickH. 05/28/17 09:28 PM
Argerich and Babayan in Cleveland
by MikeN. 05/28/17 05:12 PM
Kawai key not quite right
by Creeksider. 05/28/17 03:53 PM
Problem with keys on brand new piano (Kawai CS11)
by PianomanDK. 05/28/17 02:47 PM
Problem with keys on brand new piano (Kawai CS11)
by PianomanDK. 05/28/17 02:08 PM
(ad)
Sheet Music Plus
Sheet Music Plus Featured Sale
(ad)
Accu-Tuner
Sanderson Accu-Tuner
Report Problems With New Forums
Report Problems with New Forums Here!
Forum Statistics
Forums44
Topics179,940
Posts2,630,701
Members87,916
Most Online15,252
Mar 21st, 2010
Visit our online store for gifts for music lovers

 
Help keep the forums up and running with a donation, any amount is appreciated!
Or by becoming a Subscribing member! Thank-you.
Donate   Subscribe
 
Our Piano Related Classified Ads
| Dealers | Tuners | Lessons | Movers | Restorations | Pianos For Sale | Sell Your Piano |

Advertise on Piano World
| Subscribe | Piano World | PianoSupplies.com | Advertise on Piano World |
| |Contact | Privacy | Legal | About Us | Site Map | Free Newsletter |


copyright 1997 - 2017 Piano World ® all rights reserved
No part of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0