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#1974118 - 10/16/12 02:56 PM Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students  
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 75
MrsLois Offline
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MrsLois  Offline
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Posts: 75
Manitoba, Canada
So I find myself dreading my lessons this evening. I did not exactly have an inspiring start to the week! I had multiple students become snappy and rude last night, and in the end I just said to them 'If you're choosing to be like that today, I guess I'll see you next week. I'm not prepared to deal with that in my classroom.'

To set the record straight... their pieces and studies were NOT pushing them too hard. They were not focusing, regardless of how often I reminded them that it was time to learn.

I realize that having this issue with multiple students points all fingers to me as the cause of frustration and a challenging evening, but I have always prided myself on being a positive person in the classroom, and I do not feel that last night was any exception.

How do you deal with students bad attitudes? Have you ever had a student be downright rude to you, and how did you deal with the situation?

Looking forward to hearing your insights! smile

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#1974121 - 10/16/12 03:09 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Oct 2005
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Chris H. Offline
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Chris H.  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,919
UK.
It happens to me most days, I think I've just got used to it.


Pianist and piano teacher.
#1974132 - 10/16/12 03:25 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Dec 2011
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Bluoh Offline
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Bluoh  Offline
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Posts: 421
Canada
I'm quite surprised, actually. I haven't had a group of students who are intentionally rude.

How old are the students?

#1974138 - 10/16/12 03:31 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Oct 2005
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Chris H. Offline
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Chris H.  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2005
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UK.
I suppose it could depend on your tolerance levels. If you were having a bad week or even a bad day you might be more sensitive to their behaviour. I have to say that most kids pick up on this and some will even try to push your buttons deliberately.


Pianist and piano teacher.
#1974153 - 10/16/12 04:21 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Nov 2006
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Stanny Offline
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Stanny  Offline
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I'm very lucky not to have had rude students. I have students who don't practice like I tell them to, or don't do their homework, but not rude. That would be a deal breaker for me.


~Stanny~

Independent Music Teacher
Certified Piano Teacher, American College of Musicians
Member: MTNA, NGPT, ASMTA, NAMTA
#1974162 - 10/16/12 04:42 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Aug 2007
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AZNpiano Offline
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AZNpiano  Offline
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Orange County, CA
FIRE THE STUDENT!!


Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member
#1974168 - 10/16/12 04:49 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
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Chris H. Offline
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Chris H.  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,919
UK.
Can't fire them all though presumably.


Pianist and piano teacher.
#1974185 - 10/16/12 05:26 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 75
MrsLois Offline
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MrsLois  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 75
Manitoba, Canada
There were a range of ages, from 7 to 13. Maybe my tolerance levels were lower than usual, but I don't tolerate rudeness in my classroom regardless of how my day has gone.

And no, I can't fire my students! They are all awesome kids, and I love working with them. Just frustrating :p

#1974202 - 10/16/12 05:59 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 100
pianomouse Offline
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pianomouse  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 100
Europe
Dear Mrs Lois
I guess you won't see them till next week. So you have time to calm down and let your anger evaporate. If they have been acting rude for the first time, I suggest it's worth talking to them in the next lesson, asking them if they were actually aware what was happening in their last lesson and that - as you usually have great lessons together - you don't want them to act like this again.

I'm glad to only teach single lessons, but I know from other experiences that groups can develop strange dynamics. Maybe, the weather was strange, or they were tired, or....

Hopefully, this was an exception and you're having many great lessons to come :-)


The piano keys are black and white,
But they sound like a million colours in your mind.
(Katie Melua)
#1974281 - 10/16/12 09:04 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 387
Monaco Offline
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Monaco  Offline
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Posts: 387
GA
I have one little boy who is rude on occasion. He like to tell me how to do things and tell me I'm wrong and he's right and stuff like that.
Two things I do in response.
One. Look him square in the eye and tell him "no." Don't blink. Don't make excuses. Just "No. We don't behave like that."
Two. Get the parents involved. If the parents don't support you, fire the student.


Ben Ereddia
Piano Teacher
Beginning Tech
#1974283 - 10/16/12 09:19 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 4,240
malkin Offline
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malkin  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 4,240
*sigh* Salt Lake City
Are they rude on purpose? That is, do they know they are being rude?

Sometimes I have my kids with autism practice saying something "in a nice way" and "in a grouchy way" and "in a mean way." This week we have also been saying things "in a vampire way."


Having power is not nearly as important as what you choose to do with it.
– Roald Dahl

#1974287 - 10/16/12 09:30 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 381
Brinestone Offline
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Brinestone  Offline
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Posts: 381
Malkin, I love it! Do they do a Transylvanian accent?


Piano teacher since 2008, member of NFMC
#1974321 - 10/16/12 11:07 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 4,240
malkin Offline
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malkin  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 4,240
*sigh* Salt Lake City
OT:
I saw a recipe for fake blood and thought it would be fun to make with the kids. I needed to fill out a 30-45 minute group, so I got the book "A Drop of Blood" which is non-fiction, but the narrator is a vampire. So, we read the book, or look at it and talk about the pictures and say "A Drahhp of Blahhhd" in our scariest voices, and then we concoct fake blood in a blender and then the kids fingerpaint blood on a little outline of a body with a heart on construction paper and by then the staff and the kids and the room are all a big sticky red mess and it is time to clean up.

Piano related, but still OT:
One group yesterday walked past the piano on their way in to the room and I had them listen to a "Spooky Song" (which was A minor chord inversions) because we would be doing a spooky group.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program!

Take care MrsLois. Maybe everyone was just a bit on edge this week.



Having power is not nearly as important as what you choose to do with it.
– Roald Dahl

#1974586 - 10/17/12 02:05 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 250
bmbutler Offline
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bmbutler  Offline
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Posts: 250
I had a student like this who transferred to me some time ago. We finally had a "come to Jesus" talk and that stopped it. Children will behave exactly how you allow them to behave. I expect respect and I get it.


Bachelor of Music (church music)
Master of Church Music (organ, music education)
Piano Teacher since 1992
Church Musician since 1983
#1974590 - 10/17/12 02:08 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: bmbutler]  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,639
John v.d.Brook Offline
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John v.d.Brook  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,639
Olympia, Washington, USA
You pretty much summed up my thinking on the topic. We're the adults in the relationship, we should act like adults, and expect students to behave with proper decorum. If they haven't learned it at home, then you can have a teaching moment.


"Those who dare to teach must never cease to learn." -- Richard Henry Dann
Full-time Private Piano Teacher offering Piano Lessons in Olympia, WA. www.mypianoteacher.com
Certified by the American College of Musicians; member NGPT, MTNA, WSMTA, OMTA
#1974621 - 10/17/12 03:18 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: bmbutler]  
Joined: Aug 2007
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AZNpiano Offline
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AZNpiano  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,094
Orange County, CA
Originally Posted by bmbutler
Children will behave exactly how you allow them to behave.

That's not always true. You can demand all the decorum and respect you want, but there will always be the rotten apples. Not all children will behave properly, even given the strictest of teachers.


Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member
#1974622 - 10/17/12 03:19 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: Monaco]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,654
Barb860 Offline
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Barb860  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,654
northern California
Originally Posted by Monaco
I have one little boy who is rude on occasion. He like to tell me how to do things and tell me I'm wrong and he's right and stuff like that.
Two things I do in response.
One. Look him square in the eye and tell him "no." Don't blink. Don't make excuses. Just "No. We don't behave like that."
Two. Get the parents involved. If the parents don't support you, fire the student.


Great advice here!


Piano Teacher
#1977271 - 10/22/12 08:40 PM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 178
manyhands Offline
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manyhands  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 178
Md
Modeling "rude" and then "polite" behavior with plenty of "polite" practice is a great strategy since some kids don't know what is considered rude. One must be explicit.


many hands many smiles

Big Mama Yama U1
#1977386 - 10/23/12 01:52 AM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Jun 2009
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Minniemay Offline
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Minniemay  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,702
CA
I once had a student who was being both rude and uncooperative. I stopped the lesson, walked him out to his father and told him exactly what happened and told him the lesson was over. Two days later I received a note of apology from the child, written in his own hand. He was quite cooperative after that and was never again rude to me.

You need parents that back you up.


B.A., Piano, Piano Pegagogy, Music Ed.
M.M., Piano
#1977546 - 10/23/12 11:26 AM Re: Bad Attitude and Rudeness from Students [Re: MrsLois]  
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 250
bmbutler Offline
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bmbutler  Offline
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I don't allow rotten apples in my studio. Sorry, but I don't. Don't have the time for them. Many times the rotten apples became that way because (just like a bully) no one has called them on their behavior.


Bachelor of Music (church music)
Master of Church Music (organ, music education)
Piano Teacher since 1992
Church Musician since 1983

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