Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum Advisable to take up such a student?

Just recently, I have received an email from a guy(35 years old) older than me looking for a piano teacher. I'm a female in my earlier 20s:

"Hi i'm looking for a piano teacher (preferably female & <40 years old) for abrsm grade 1-3 who is willing to teach at home.

"i am a 35 year old male, failed grade 1 when i was a kid and self taught until now.
i attended about 1-2 year of pop piano lessons.
now i would like to get certified at abrsm grade 8 on the fastest rate (skipping grades that i can skip).
let me know if this is a fit."

Advisable to take up such a student? What to look out for? Why do you think he has a preference for a female teacher <40?

i don't know... sounds just a bit creepy at his place.

Tell him you are a 72 year old man, and you will hear no more from him.

Precisely he sounds creepy. Just a little worried for myself. But this would be my first adult student and I'm really interested to teach one. *Flip a coin* *Should I or should I not*

I certainly would not go to his house after an email like this! I, like you, am also in my early 20's. You could tell him that you would prefer to teach out of your own home. Or you could tell him that you would like to have an interview first (pretty standard now for new teacher/student) at your own home before lessons would begin at his home. This could on the pre tense of discussing goals, access level, etc. But, it would give a chance to meet him in without going to his house. It may be a totally legitimate email, but it is better to be safe!

That sounds like a very odd inquiry. I can't think of any legitimate reason for the "female under 40" preference. Bizarre and/or creepy.

His wishes themselves suggest that he should have very experienced teacher who is absolutely solid in all aspects of music, playing (technique), as well as with years of experience teaching including older students. Whether the teacher got there via a BMus or otherwise is less important. That teacher should be able to take the lead and remain the leader - an older teacher would be more likely than a younger one to fit the bill. That is creepy-factor aside. Why is he mentioning his age, that he is male, and wants a young female teacher?


He wants to get at grade 8 fast, so he's asking you for 1 - 3?

If he is self-taught for all of these years, then he will have all kinds of problems at the foundation level. It is much harder to get rid of and replace poor basic habits. The teacher has to know what to look for, what to advise, and stay on top of it. The student has to cooperate and work extremely hard consistently and also be willing to follow instructions intelligently. When this person also wants to go as fast as possible and skip grades, then he doesn't know what it's about, and doesn't seem likely to do or follow what is needed. That is why I gave the portrait of the type of teacher he needs. This is not the kind of adult student you want to start with if you are a young teacher with no experience with older students.


Because he is a 35 year old male?

Ew.

Creepy student.
No thank you.

Pianolism,
His ad sounds like someone seeking a date...35 year old male seeking a female teacher under age 40. So you might respond by asking for a photo and ask what he does for a living.

Don't go.

And for a date, meet somewhere safe and public!

There will be other adult students. Think of your safety first. That's the most important thing here. I learned years ago in a safety course my employer at the time put on is that to trust your FIRST and IMMEDIATE gut reaction. Because that is usually correct. And that is what will keep you safe.

He may just have an odd writing style and be perfectly fine but there just seems to be too much unnecessary information in his note.

I feel peeved over the age limit this guy set (among other things). So if I received the message I would say that I'm sorry to disappoint you but I only accept male students up to the age of 34...letting him miss out by being 1 year too old.

But really, how did he get your e-address?

NEVER ignore your instinctive response that a situation may be dangerous.

I agree, don't ignore the creepiness. Even if he is only clueless, what does this say about his priorities? There will be other adult students, better than this one.

He may be harmless, but if so he's certainly clueless. I wouldn't have a thing to do with him.

Please do NOT get yourself in trouble. His email is raising many "red flags"!

Maybe he's a potentially fine student who thinks of the bygone stereotype of the spinster piano teacher, and wants to avoid that.

You could insist that an interview/audtion take place in your studio, even if you end up teaching him at his place. I'd be surprised if he's a creep.

Well it's possible I suppose, but I'd be surprised if any sensible bloke could pen that application and not expect a female teacher to find it, well, odd.

And if he simply wants to avoid a spinster, why doesn't he specify a male teacher?

Having him come to your home is no better than you going to his home. In fact, it could be worse, because he then would know where you live.