Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Adult Beginners Forum Returning to piano ... Hello, again, ABF

I used to be a regular on PW, but the last couple of years have been a struggle, and I'd stopped taking piano lessons. Also quit practicing. Sadly, my piano has been a lovely but silent piece of furniture for much longer than I want to admit.

Part of the problem has been my bench, which is unpadded wood and a shade too tall. It hurts my back and legs to practice for more than a few minutes. By contrast, I could've sat forever on my (former) teacher's artist bench, so I knew I really needed one. I'd researched brands and kept coming back to Jansen — but it's hard to justify spending that kind of money for a piano bench when I'm not even using the instrument. So I never bought one. Yeah, I'd price them every so often, and lurk around here once in a while. But most of the time, I pretty much pretended I don't own a piano.

(Of course, I kept buying piano music at garage sales, estate sales, etc. which should've been a clue ...)

Today, I decided I had a decision to make. I dusted off the piano and slid back the fallboard for the first time in ages. Flipped through some beginner books long enough to realize that I can no longer sight-read even the simplest stuff. Whoops! Fiddled around with C-maj. scales, the only fingering I could remember. And I just sat and played a few notes, softly, high in the treble, slowing finding a bit of a made-up melody while I thought about how much I love and miss the piano, how much I always wanted to play, always thought I should try composing ...
and this amazing thing happened. A soul-deep feeling of release washed over me as my mind went blank. It was like everything suddenly quieted inside. For the first time in months, I didn't hear this sort of endless mental shrieking. My whole body just ... sighed and let go.

It was like finding my center, as people say. Like I'd suddenly gotten my arms around something I'd had no idea was even missing but which I had been deeply and desperately needing.

Yep. Time to get back on the bench, and to make it a good one! I picked up the phone and placed my order. My dream Jansen should arrive in about a week. And I've left a message with my former teacher asking to resume lessons.

It's good to be back.

Welcome back.

Cathy

That's wonderful. Welcome back!

piano_deb, I'm happy for you! Welcome back!

Oh yeah... I know. I quit the piano every few weeks. Even worse, I am unfaithful, and play bass guitar for a while..
Welcome Back !

Good for you!! Heck, it took me 52 years to get back to it, and well worth the effort it took!! Enjoy yourself!

Glad your back - It is amazing what we will invent to prolong the inevitable. But I can guarantee that once your back you will wonder why you stopped. Breathing and playing the piano are one in the same thing.

You really got me thinking about my bench as well. The bench at my upright is so comfortable - but I rarely sit at it. All the heavy lifting is done on my digital, and my seat deserves better than what I've got down there. (in the basement) Time to spring for a new bench!

Welcome back - it's good for one's soul!

Welcome back!

Thanks, everyone.

I posted right before dashing off to my "day" job (which is in the p.m.) and it's nice to come home to see all these wonderfully supportive posts.

>My dream Jansen should arrive in about a week

Congrats! Why didn't you ever pad your wood bench to start with? Or get a cheap padded one?

The wood bench was fine for a long time, but over the last several years, I've had some back/leg problems related to a spinal issue (complicated by many hours spent in office chairs at my "day" job and at home/freelancing). Long story short, the bench is now too hard to sit on for long periods, and too tall to add a thick-enough layer of padding.

As for cheaper benches, I didn't want to go through a series of low-end benches that might not be comfortable and would wear out sooner rather than later. Jansens are known to last for decades, and I know how comfortable they are to use. I decided it was well worth it to buy exactly the bench I wanted, one that I will know I will love pretty much forever. Kinda like how I bought a piano that I expect to love forever ... or at least until I win the lottery and buy a house big enough for a grand. Or maybe multiple houses with lots of pianos.

Welcome back, piano_deb!

Hi,

i kinda know the feeling of enlightenment and "coming-home" you described, although not as intense as you described it - and not quite with the happy ending.

To be honest, I live through this again and again in a sort of insane back-and-forth perpetual mood swing that slowly drives me crazy. I stop practicing for four weeks, then get back at the piano and feel the joy overwhelming me. Two or three days later during practice, nothing works, I feel utterly frustrated and intimidated. I'll think "F* this!" and leave the piano for the next couple of weeks.

It wouldn't be a problem if I could just give it up altogether, but somehow I can't. As you can probably imagine I'm not getting anywhere in terms of progress which again is a source of frustration.

I have been taking lessons occasionally but always felt extremely nervous and incompetent and utterly stressed during those 60 minutes. My teacher is a nice guy and a competent pianist at that, but the lessons were never something I had been looking forward to.

At the moment I simply don't know what to do, I'm thinking about selling my piano but I am too afraid to regret it shortly after. It's that stupid HATE-LOVE that drives me insane... Maybe one of you guys has some insights on what to do..

Hi Deborah,
Welcome back. I remember you from before.
I think sometimes we take for granted how much we love something until we have been away from it for a while. I'm glad you found your way back.

And congrats on the new bench. You definitely deserve it.

I can relate to this. It can be very frustrating because our minds just want to play but we don't have that ability yet. The process can seem slow and sometimes it feels like we aren't making any progress at all.
But, I can assure you that you are making progress. Sometimes we don't realize it until we go back to some of the old stuff from when we were first learning that you realize how far you've come.
As far as practicing is concerned. Maybe you are overwhelming yourself. Maybe you need to just write out a list of a few things to do each day and just sit down and do them and don't worry or thing too much about it. Meaning don't try to rate how good or bad it is.
As far as your lessons are concerned. I sometimes dread my lessons as well even though I love them at the same time. I have a wonderful teacher too. The reason is because I lack confidence and never feel like I practiced enough. But remember your lessons are for learning and you are not meant to be perfect. I had to learn this myself. It took some time for me to overcome my perfectionist ways and to just enjoy the time at my lessons. My lessons are only half an hour (although we usually go longer). So, for a while you might want to shorten your lessons. Maybe try half an hour for a little while. Then as you progress you can make them longer. I just think this takes the pressure off.
Also, I remember I was having a really hard time and feeling very frustrated. Them my teacher sort of accidentally gave me an exercise that was too easy but it felt SO good to play it because it was too easy. I realized that I actually had come a long way and it felt good to play something that I didn't have to think about. I still did the other stuff but we also added too easy exercises the the routine.
Finally, most sure that you are playing something you like at least some of the time. And you can even just play like a little kid would who encounters a piano for the first time. They just press the keys and make a noise. If you do this only on the black keys it can be quite fun because it can't really sound bad. Just play freely and don't care what it sounds like at all.
well I don't know if any of that will help at all but hang in there and remember you're not alone.

Hi, Kymber! Good to see you again.

LaRate, I think Kymber's suggestion to work out a doable (maybe simpler?) practice plan and follow that for a while, without worrying overmuch about progress, may be a good idea. I do understand your sense of frustration. I would bet that most/all piano students, at every level, sometimes feel like they'll never really master this instrument.

I think it's particularly true with adult learners as we tend to think that we should be able to master things quickly — and because we often intellectualize the experience of playing rather than simply experiencing it and accepting it as children do. In short, we criticize ourselves nonstop for not being perfect, for not "getting" it, for not being able to get our fingers to do what we picture so clearly in our minds.

My plan, going forward, is to restart lessons, do lots of sight-reading and practice everything as s-l-o-w-l-y as needed to play it perfectly (with the knowledge that I will gain speed later). I have found that rushing only causes me to repeat mistakes — which means I'm ingraining the WRONG way to play something. Therein lies a lot of MY frustration, anyway.

Welcome back PianoDeb ... glad you've regained your bliss.

LaRate ... Gaining proficiency on piano is a very ambitious goal. It really is like going on a ten thousand kilometer hike. It's always one step at a time. Even if you run at top speed you're not going to get there any time soon and you'll probably get injured. So relax and enjoy the scenery along the way. Sometimes when my mental energy is low I just sit and play easy exercises in order to build some muscle.

Thank you all for the kind words! Oh and apologies for hijacking your thread, Deborah. Those feelings just came pouring out after reading your post.

I think I will try to first install a simple and short practice schedule. Practice practicing instead of playing, I guess. At the moment I cannot quite imagine myself taking lessons again though.