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Hello everyone, I'm new to the forum and very glad to have found you. I have been a piano teacher for almost 30 years and yesterday I had the most unusual experience at a student's home. Any input you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
From the start, there have been little things that didn't seem right in their home. They aren't dangerous,abusive or scary things, more strange and confusing. Yesterday, the father was in a different room and called out a question to his child, only he called her by a wrong name. Example: She is Jane, he called her Susan. It's not her sister's name, nor is it her middle name. The child responded to him and did not seem surprised. I asked her if he had gotten her name wrong? Now she seemed nervous. She said that he rarely calls her by her real name. Should I be concernced that this is an abduction or something?

One post... hmm.

OK, assuming this isn't a troll, CALL THE POLICE if you have any actual concern. You can be anonymous and they take this sort of thing seriously.

I'm just waiting for the replies, this is going to be great. I'm in my cozy european easy chair, I've got a big bowl of popcorn, live entertainment on Saturday night.

My mother was always mixing up names, and I tend to say "blue" when I mean "green" etc. I've called my sons by my brothers' names or each other's. I think kids can be embarrassed if their parent has a weakness and someone seems to point out that weakness. It's not cause to call the police. What if the parent has the start of Altzheimer or some other problem?

I remember my heart falling to my stomach during gym class when one little boy's legs were blotchy blue from top to bottom - bruises? Nope. New blue jeans and rain on the way to school. It's only funny because nothing bad was happening. If you teach and have to make those judgment calls it's a bit less amusing.

That is exactly how I feel! I don't want to me an alarmist, but then I don't won't to be that person that should have reacted, and didn't.

Sometimes you are a real JERK...

I know, right? I don't want to completely jump to conclusions and miss read the situation. I would die of embarassment a thousand times over if I over-reacted. But, then I wonder why do I keep coming back to this in my mind. It was just so strange. I'm hoping to get some different perspectives here, and then hopefully have a clearer conclussion...

There have got to be websites out there that show pictures of missing or abducted children. Why not get cracking and check some of them out?
If you see your student . . . BINGO!

The one thing you want to avoid is making any accusations. You will have to quietly check. This would be a very sticky situation. I'm glad I'm not in it.

excellent idea! thank you, I will start searching

I would actually suggest not investigating - you are not an expert at investigating, others are. You do need to decide if you think it was suspicious or not. I can't tell you the number of time I have called my kids the wrong name, or called the baby by the cat's name, but it was always a familiar name. I would also have thought if someone is clever enough to abduct, and to call in a piano teacher, they would probably not make a basic mistake like that when the teacher is there. So you need to decide if you feel something is wrong, or not, and if you feel something is wrong, then yes, you must contact the authorities. It is your duty. You report what you observed. If all is well, they will ascertain this and everything carries on as normal.

I can't imagine that if he had abducted a child he would let strangers in to his house to teach anyone (let alone the abducted child herself) piano. Is there any other weird behaviour?

This is really a catch 22 situation. If there really is something wrong, not saying anything would be hard to live with. But if the pot is stirred and there is nothing wrong, it could lead to a LOT of embarrassment and trouble.

What other strange things have you observed? This may just be one more strange thing. I wouldn't jump to wondering about abduction.

Is the mother in the home?

Does the child seem to be well fed and happy? Is she enjoying lessons? How long have you been teaching this child?

I have a feeling that if you called child protective services and said you're suspicious because a father calls his child by the wrong name, that they would not have enough info to open a case.

Are they reluctant to have the child in a group photo after the recital?

I have to say that the entire family is very, very friendly, polite, and nice. When they contacted to me for lessons, they said a student had referred them that I had never heard of. Then two weeks later I was contacted by these unknowns for lessons. I didn't think much about it, assuming that they got my name through the grapevine. I have never heard the other daughter say one word, but I assume she is shy. One really strange thing is, I remember thinking at the first lesson that the kids' school photos on the wall looked very photo-shopped to me.

What other strange things have you observed? This may just be one more strange thing. I wouldn't jump to wondering about abduction. Is the mother in the home? Does the child seem to be well fed and happy? Is she enjoying lessons? How long have you been teaching this child? I have a feeling that if you called child protective services and said you're suspicious because a father calls his child by the wrong name, that they would not have enough info to open a case. Are they reluctant to have the child in a group photo after the recital? [/quote]

The father is there more often then the mother,but there have been times they are both there. I have been teaching her since October 2011. During the lessons the student is inquisitive, and attentive. I agree with you, if I called CPS I would sound like the strange one. I don't remember any problems with pictures at the recital.

I am more suspicious of you at this point, Ivana, than I am of the parents. You have really offered very little, other than that you feel ill at ease in this home, that a parent came up with a wrong name for the child, and that there's a clumsily-photoshopped family photo.

You need a lot more before you start what could be some big trouble.

I'm not sure what your suspicions are of me. I have never encountered a situation like this before in my life, and I am trying to decide if it is something I should be concerned about or not. I am being vague on purpose, I do not want to give out details on a publlic forum that this family could stumble upon. I definately do not want to accuse them of anything without viable proof. Actually, this discussion so far has helped me get my bearings and see that I don't need to over-react. As stated above,it is a catch 22, and I am very thankful for the different perspectives being shared with me.

Maybe a slip up from someone in the witness protection program? I'd wait for more signs that something is "off" before stirring things up. If the girl is going to school and all seems normal otherwise it's likely a good reason that should be left alone.