Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Tuner-Technicians Forum OT Paging Jerry Groot (and any one else living in the Northland)

Wow, 2 million hits. I sure hope you all are enjoying these posts and that it makes your life one step happier with a smile here and a laugh there...

Jer

Sorry bro, but thanks for being my chair

Five Golden Rings

Looks like he wanted to be alone… and chances are he will be



It’s good to have a friend when you need one!

Christmas Toons

You think maybe the cat can read and thinks he belongs in here?



Gee, you know, this isn't really quite as comfortable as it looks.

What the heck is this, some kind of prank? I thought boxes were built for cats to play in? Not to get all glued together with white thingys!

Can't wait to have some Christmas dinner

Well, I got my computer. Looks like a Piano World computer too!

Did I read that right? 2 million views! That's a lot!!!
I still love this picture.

Yes, that is a lot alright isn't it Diane! People are enjoying us trying to give them smiles because I have heard from many of them privately! Makes it more fun!

I dare you to sit on the fence anyway.....

I couldn't help but post these too... Maxine.........

BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT! TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every damn minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room- spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!

19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23 They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment
for a pig. (how true)
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few !

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare... You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Mashed potatoes should be made with plenty of butter. Cream if you have it.

The other time I have several desserts is spuntino nights at the bocce league. Tonight is the final night of the league, although our team played our last game last week. There is a possibility we will finish in the money.

Yes, plenty of butter. I sometimes use sour cream, but my favorite is cream cheese instead of milk or cream, using about equal parts butter and cream cheese.

Ok I give up - why did the chicken cross the road

Bet you can't do this.

A precious little girl walks into a PetSmart store and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth,

"Excuthe me, mithter, do you have widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks,

"Do you want a widdle white wabbit,or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, crosses her little arms, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,



"I don't think my python weally givth a thit."

Here's one gift that you get that you can't take "BACK"!